


Dancing on the Edge

by puddleofgoo



Series: A Life Less Ordinary [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-16
Updated: 2007-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 17:08:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 71,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puddleofgoo/pseuds/puddleofgoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is far more complicated when it involves feelings and other people. As Sheppard and McKay try to navigate through the beginning straights of a new relationship, how will they handle a Super-Wraith and the death it leaves behind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dancing on the Edge

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set immediately following the events in A Life Less Ordinary 1: Leap of Faith. Takes place during and immediately following 1x12 "The Defiant One".
> 
> Author's Notes: Much thanks must go to my beta, Misty, who has been very patient with me—and encouraging all the way through. And thanks also to all the readers for the wonderful welcome! It's greatly appreciated.

Doctor Rodney McKay leaned forward running his hand against the steam-covered mirror, wiping the wetness from it, clearing a large section, before stepping back. Standing naked in the middle of his bathroom, his semi-damp towel finally fell from his fingers and he stared at himself, his watery reflection staring back at him.

He didn't look different, really.

But he felt…alive.

What was happening to him?

Lifting his hand, his fingers trailed over the small mark—the small bruise, really—where his neck met his shoulder, a thrill running through his body as he pressed against it, feeling it ache right down to his groin. He remembered John pushed up against him—his breath, his lips, his tongue, his teeth against his skin.

Of course that sensation didn't match the soreness of his well-fucked ass, the memory of how it got that way bringing a smile to his face.

For one night, he'd never felt so wanted, so desired. It was almost…heady.

He'd never had anyone want to or take the time to touch him, pleasure him as John had. And now it was like he couldn't get enough.

Rodney's eyes drifted down the rest of his body pausing at his reddened and sensitive nipples, rubbed and tweaked and teased last night until he had been moaning for release and begging shamelessly for more.

Rodney blushed, looking away from his reflection, the moment breaking into a thousand little pieces, each sliver coalescing into the reality of his bathroom and the cold floor beneath his bare feet.

But how hadn't he known it could be like this? How could he have missed this? It was embarrassing, pathetic…and just showed how little he really knew about things that mattered.

The rest of his morning routine fell quickly into place as he finished shaving and brushing his teeth, pulling on new clothes and his headset before heading out the door to the mess to grab coffee and breakfast. He'd eat it standing in the lab before he had the staff meeting at 0900. He knew he'd be sitting seldom and gingerly for the majority of the day, but it was well worth it.

Striding through Atlantis, his mind kept drifting back to the night before, mulling over everything. Part of him was still shocked that it had happened in the first place, but the hickey—and the feelings of his body—was proof enough it had. He absently grabbed something from the food table, a muffin and some fruit, before turning to head to the beverage table and the ever-present coffee.

"Rodney!" Carson snagged a muffin behind him then joined him. "I was lookin' for you earlier."

"Oh? Why?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder as he laid his food down and reached for a mug.

"One of the Ancient scanners started doing something odd this morning. Flashing lights and such. I was wondering if you could take a look at it for me." Carson reached around him to pour himself a cup of tea.

"Sure. I can do it now if you want," he answered, dumping some sugar and milk in a cup before pouring the coffee in. "I have a staff meeting in about two hours, but that should give me enough time to take a look."

"Sounds good, I appreciate it." Carson flashed him as grin as they walked down the hall, each munching on their own breakfast items, sipping at the beverages in their hands, the silence between them comfortable. Once in the infirmary, Beckett led him back to a quiet corner, one of the large, full-body scanners that was of course blinking randomly. "So...you seem relaxed."

Rodney shrugged, dumping the breakfast remains on a table before ducking around the back of the machine. There was an access panel back here somewhere, he knew. He just had to find it. "I got a good night's sleep." Spotting it, he moved over a few more feet.

"Did you now?"

"You could…ah…say that." He knelt down, opening the back panel to look inside, his forehead furrowing. That looked okay. Everything that was supposed to light up did. He poked around a little more, double-checking a few of the connections.

"And?"

"And what?"

"What happened?"

"Carson!" Rodney peered around the edge of the machine, finding the doctor smiling down at him. "You know better than to ask that."

"So, I'm nosy." The smile was unrepentant. "I don't really want all the details, I just want to know how it went. Considering you're more relaxed than I think I've ever seen you, I'm going out on a limb here to say it went well."

"Yes, everything went well."

"Good. You know I'm here if you ever need anything." Carson beamed at him.

Rodney scowled as he rose to his feet. He winced a little as he moved around to the other side of the scanner, poking at the secondary access panel once he got it open.

He felt Carson's keen doctor eyes following him. "Do you need me to look at anything?"

"What? Why?" He turned, feeling his cheeks flush under Beckett's gaze.

"It went better than just 'well,' hmm?" With a chuckle, Carson continued to watch him. "You're moving slow and don't think I didn't see the wince. I'll trust your judgment if you don't think I need to look you over. But remember, if you hurt yourself and don't get it looked at, when it does finally become necessary for me to step in, your activities will be curtailed for a lot longer."

Rodney ducked his head, his eyes on the inner panel, noticing several of the crystals were out. "It's been a while, that's all."

"And that's fine, it just means you need to be a bit more careful, especially right at first." He heard the doctor move away, and after a minute he felt something slide into his jacket pocket. "Use that as-needed if there's any tearing."

"I…I don't think there is, but I didn't look. And I didn't see anything…on the sheets, you know," he said, the weight of the small tube heavy.

"Keep it for just in case. It's got a mild antibiotic in it, and an agent that will numb the area a bit if there's pain." He heard the other man shift away. "So, what's wrong with my scanner?"

"Some of the crystals are out. What have you been doing with it?" Rodney asked, trying to pull his mind back to the real reason he was here.

"One of the nurses was experimenting a bit, trying to see how far she could push it, how detailed it could get. The lass was a bit embarrassed when it started to malfunction, so it took her a few days to work up the courage to tell me."

"Oh for…don't you ever pay attention to what your staff is doing?"

"I have a large staff, and my own research to attend to. I don't keep track of what everyone's doing every moment of the day, no."

"And then you come crying to me when there's a problem," he sniffed. "I need a few tools, my tablet, and replacement crystals before I can fix this."

Carson sighed. "Because I knew if anyone could figure out what she had done and fix it, it would be you. All right then, it's not an emergency, and I do have a few more of these, so no hurry. If I can get it fixed in the next few days, that should be fine."

Rodney shook his head. "It won't take long once I get what I need and I don't dare send someone else to fix it. They'd probably end up doing something worse." With his eyes still on the open access panel, he moved to check something else and he felt his ass twinge uncomfortably. Pausing for a beat, he felt the heat slowly rise in his face. "You wouldn't mind…checking, would you? It's been a while and we might have gotten a little…overambitious. I think everything's fine, but I'd rather be sure and he did mention something about tonight…"

Carson's smile was gentle. "Of course I don't mind. I'm your doctor, Rodney, and I'm glad you're comfortable with asking. Let's go into the Iso room and I'll make sure everything's okay."

Rodney nodded, sheepishly following behind Carson as they moved through the maze of rooms and corridors that made up the infirmary.

Carson was quick, efficient, and kept it professional until Rodney's pants were firmly back where they should be. "You owe your Major a bit of thanks. It looks like he was careful—I don't see any signs of tearing. Go ahead and keep the cream, since you might need it if you plan to be active again in the next day or so, but otherwise, you're fine."

"Good. That's…ah, good to know." He paused, looking at his friend. "And you're not going to…" He raised an eyebrow, not wanting to say but needing to know.

"Of course not. Even if you weren't both my friends, you have patient confidentiality." Carson put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Rodney—I'm just glad to see you both happy."

"This is…I don't know what this is," he said, plucking at the hem of his jacket. "I think we're still figuring that part out."

"But that's the fun part, learning one another and finding out what you both enjoy. And I thought you were going to stop over-thinking it."

Rodney scowled "This is me we're talking about. You know that, right?"

Chuckling, Carson took his elbow and began steering him back out. "Aye, I don't think you'd let me forget, but I'm glad to see the major listens to your heart and not your mouth. But for now, didn't you say something about a staff meeting at nine? It's 8:30 now."

"It is? Crap. Yes," Rodney said, glancing around for his cup of coffee, but realizing it was in the other room. "I'll come back to fix that later…this afternoon…"

"That's fine. Go, and stop over-thinking things!" Carson called out after him as he headed out the door.

Rodney headed down the hall at a run, his mind already cycling through the things he needed to cover in his meeting. But first stop: coffee.

***

Major John Sheppard, sorta-disgraced Air Force pilot and current head of military operations in the lost city of Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy pushed the lumpy orange stuff that tasted like mashed potatoes around his plate and tried to stay focused on the task at hand—namely, going through the mission rosters for the next month and assigning teams to the ones that looked most promising. It was normally something he took a great deal of interest in. Today, however, he kept drifting back to the newest title he could tack onto his name, albeit only in his own head—lover of the most brilliant man in at least one galaxy, possibly two.

Dragging his attention back to work, he plastered on the laid-back, slightly flirty smirk he knew tended to distract anyone who had a thing for men. “Stackhouse’s team would be a good fit for that one. They’re not bad at first-contacts.”

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth Weir asked, going down her own PDA list. "That'll mean they have two first-contacts in the same week."

He shook his head, forcefully pushing aside all thoughts of McKay's ass and what he wanted to do to it later. "No, sorry, forgot about the other one. What about Holmes' team? After Stackhouse, they're the best for the job."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I'll put them at the head of the list for that one."

John slipped a bite of roll in as he scanned the list in front of him. "Who have we got for this one, P3X-227? It looks like there might have been an outpost there at one point, although from the database notes it was abandoned even before the siege."

"You're going to need a science team. You can take it. I’m sure Rodney would be interested in examining it close up. Wasn't he the one that brought it to our attention in the first place?"

"Sounds like a plan. My team's not scheduled for anything yet this month, so let's put it on the calendar for next week. Give McKay time to catch up on all the stuff in the labs. He gets cranky if I drag him out too often." He grinned at her, then spotted his obsession stalking across the room, headed their way. "Speaking of the devil..."

"Are you going over the mission assignments?" he asked without preamble, standing next to the table, his foot tapping a steady pattern as his arms crossed over his chest.

"Yup. Just about done actually. Our team's going to take that old outpost you mentioned in the last staff meeting next week." John worked to keep his smile friendly and easy, and not predatory and naughty.

"Well, we need to add something else to the schedule sooner rather than later."

John waved to an empty seat next to his, absently handing over the cupcake on his tray while glancing at the schedule. Since he pretty much gave Rodney his dessert at every meal they took together anyway, he knew no one would remark on it. "What did you have in mind?"

Rodney remained standing, but snagged the dessert item, peeling the paper slowly as he talked. "I just finished another meeting with Doctor Gall and we need to go and check out the LaGrange Point Satellite."

"The what?" John exchanged a quick look with Elizabeth, who seemed amused—and who looked like she knew what the Hell the LaGrange Point Satellite was.

"What exactly do you do all day?" Rodney asked, rolling his eyes as he turned to Elizabeth, taking a bite of the cupcake, talking around it. "It's about fifteen hours from Atlantis by jumper, but if it's still working we'd have a first line of defense against the Wraith."

"Wait a minute, what kind of satellite are we talking about here? When I hear that term I think little shiny things that bring ESPN and better cell reception." He knew that would get Rodney going.

Sure enough, the scientist sighed loudly, keeping his eyes on Elizabeth. "He does know how to use a computer, right? I thought there were some kind of standards to become an expedition member."

"He's," John emphasized the word, "right here. And why bother reading e-mail when I know you'll eventually tell me everything I need to know."

"Because there is always the possibility that I might not be here," Rodney replied, his lips pressed in a thin line, his face wearing the 'why am I living with idiots' expression he usually reserved for his staffers. "And to answer your question in small words so you can understand, it looks like it might be a large space gun."

John perked up at that. "Space gun? Why didn't you just say that in the first place? When can we go?" He shot Elizabeth a wide-eyed, innocent look.

"I did. In the email," Rodney replied, exasperation on his face as he turned to Weir. "Can we get it on the mission schedule?"

"If you'd put Big Space Gun in the subject line, I would have read it." He glanced at the schedule. "Well, Teyla is training Marines until our mission next week, and I have Ford working with Bates on improving security until then. What kind of territory is it? If it's just a 'go look and see the pretty space gun' type mission, we wouldn't necessarily need them to come. We could bring a few temporary replacements along."

"It's in the system. We're not going far."

"I'm game to go this week if you think it's important enough. There's nothing pressing going on here that needs my attention." He glanced at Elizabeth, who seemed unsure. "What do you think?"

"We need something we can use against the Wraith," she said, her face thoughtful. This expedition must have turned into a nightmare for her. Instead of just exploring a new city, she was fighting a war against an enemy that didn't want to die.

"All right, I'll put a temporary team together and take McKay out there. Briefing tomorrow and mission the following day work for everyone?"

"Who were you planning on bringing?" she asked. "Who did you say discovered it?"

Rodney reluctantly answered. "Doctor Gall. And Abrams helped."

John suddenly had a sinking feeling. It was one thing to be more amused and aroused by Rodney than was probably healthy, it was another to be stuck babysitting other geeks for at least thirty hours round-trip, probably more if they wanted to explore. And Weir had that look... "Ah, why is that important? The jumper doesn't hold more than four people comfortably, not for that long of a trip."

"Why? Who else were you thinking about taking? We need to get the scientists into the field and since Doctors Gall and Abrams discovered it, it's only fair they get to see it in person." She rose, collecting her PDA. "Good job, Rodney. Let's have a mission briefing on this tomorrow."

He watched her leave, knowing he probably looked like someone had just punched him in the gut. "Did I just get volunteered to be the pilot for a thirty-plus hour mission for the science team?"

"I think you did," Rodney agreed, looking a little green. "And I have to get back to the labs. I'll see you later."

"Rodney? We still on for dinner?" All the things John had managed to stop thinking about during the meeting came rushing back.

"Yes yes. That's fine. 1700. I just need to…" He gestured with his thumb toward the door. "Enjoy the rest of your lunch and thanks for the snack." He turned, walking out of the mess, leaving John alone at the table.

He couldn't help but admire the view—the man had a wicked walk-away—then shook his head. Taking a moment to eat the last few bites of his lunch, he rose and started for his office. Now was as good a time as any to go read that e-mail McKay kept going on about, and get a little more information on where he would be going this week.

***

Rodney worked through the rest of the afternoon, managing to fix Carson's broken scanner and reduce three of his staff members to tears. It wasn't bad for a day's work.

He'd set up several simulations to run and was checking on the results when he realized that he was supposed to meet Sheppard for dinner. Tonight.

Checking the time, he cursed.

It was 1720 and he was supposed to be in the mess twenty minutes ago.

Pausing one simulation, he scheduled the others to continue and transmit their readings when they were completed. He'd have the results in his email first thing in the morning.

Closing down one of his workstations, he headed for the mess.

Sheppard didn't look pleased when he finally dashed in, grabbing a tray and some food before settling gingerly into the seat across from the Major.

"I was starting to wonder if you'd changed your mind."

"No. Sorry. Things got away from me," Rodney answered, digging into dinner. He talked around a mouthful of food. "I had to fix one of Carson's scanners this afternoon and I was delayed in getting some simulations set up. I didn't realize what time it was until it was too late. I never eat this early."

He noted that Sheppard's shoulders relaxed almost imperceptibly. "Yeah, I figured it was something like that. I was giving you ten more minutes before I was going down to the labs to drag you away."

"As if," he snorted, rolling his eyes. "The rest of your day was okay?"

"Yeah. Finally got around the checking email. Thanks by the way. " John's lips twitched into a wry grin. "I spent almost two hours reading through pointless requests for shit we don't have. Yours was the only one that was remotely interesting."

"Well, that's why you get the big bucks," Rodney said with a smirk.

"You're all heart, McKay."

Rodney shrugged. "What did you expect?"

Chuckling, John pushed around the remains of his dinner—it looked like he had pretty much finished before Rodney had arrived. "So, you still sore from those exercises I showed you last night?"

"What?" Rodney said, his head snapping up as his eyes widened. "Major, do you think—"

"Exercises." John narrowed his eyes slightly, emphasizing the word. "You know, the ones I'm teaching you, so you'll be in better shape for the field?"

He ducked his head, but not before scowling across the table. "A little yes, but Carson said I'm supposed to thank you."

"You know what, I'm not going to ask." John cut his eyes at a table of Marines nearby. They weren't really paying attention, but it was obvious he was being careful. "I was wondering if you wanted to come by tonight and I can show you a few more."

Rodney rolled his eyes, but knew what Sheppard was referring to. He wasn't going to say anything incriminating in public. Did the man think he was dumb? "He said that you had been careful, to make sure I didn't pull anything."

He saw the very tips of John's ears turn pink, but otherwise the man gave no sign this conversation had more than one level. "Elizabeth ambushed me on my way here and asked me to stop by her office after dinner for a quick review of the roster. It shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes, tops. You could head to my room and get some stretching done, so we could get started as soon as I get there. That way we won't have to worry about you pulling anything."

"Stretching."

The corner of John's mouth quirked up. "Stretching."

"And your meeting is now?"

"Soon. I told her I was meeting you here for dinner in an effort to ensure you eat something besides PowerBars, and I'd stop by when we were done." John slid down into his usual slouch, legs spread wide.

"I'm glad you have some sense of priorities," Rodney replied, ignoring the urge to look down to see if he could see anything—not that he really could from this angle.

"Well, keeping our resident self-proclaimed genius and hypoglycemic well-fed and happy is part of my job description." John smirked. "So?"

Rodney rolled his eyes again as he dropped his fork onto his decimated dinner tray. "What are you waiting for?"

With a low chuckle, John shifted and rose. "All right, see you in fifteen then."

Nodding, Rodney downed the rest of his coffee as Sheppard left before he headed out the door himself, his mind spinning.

Exercises. What was Sheppard expecting him to do, prepare himself? He was eager, yes, even desperate to be fucked again, but….exercises.

Rolling his eyes he headed to Sheppard's quarters, his radio activating when he was a few steps away from his destination.

"What?"

Zelenka answered his sharp reply. "There is a problem with one of your simulations. It seems one of the files it requires has been moved."

"What do you mean, moved? Who moved it?" Rodney asked, waving his hand in front of Sheppard's door panel. It opened, letting him inside.

"I do not know, but if you do not fix this your simulation will not run."

"Fine," he grumbled, pulling off his jacket and hanging it on the back of the desk chair. "What file are you looking for? I should be able to walk you through it."

***

John managed to get through the meeting with Elizabeth quickly—it was just signing off on a few changes to the schedule they had set that afternoon.

He headed back to his room, anticipation making his stomach flutter. Rodney was waiting for him. In his room. And they were going to fuck again.

God, life was good sometimes.

His door slid open to the sound of an irritated astrophysicist pacing around the room. He was still fully-dressed—John experienced a pang of disappointment, but honestly, he really hadn’t expected Rodney to take him up on the unsubtle teasing—hands waving about. He let the door close and lock behind him, then leaned against the wall and let himself look his fill.

"No. Not there. Were you even listening?" Rodney paused, waiting for whomever on the other end to finish speaking. "Yes. There. Right there. See it now? Yes, that's it. Just attach it to the simulation and you can let it run." He paused again. "Yes, yes. Fine. And next time, don't have Kavanaugh touch the files on the server. McKay out."

He tossed his earpiece on the desk. "I work with idiots."

"Yeah?" John didn't move off the wall, enjoying the show. It was probably in his best interests not to let McKay know how hot he looked when he ranted.

Rodney paced back and forth, from the desk to the bed and back again. "I've been on the radio for fifteen minutes trying to find a stupid file that Kavanaugh moved. If…Zelenka hadn't seen the error screen pop up I would have wasted an entire night's work."

"I thought Kavenaugh was locked out of the server. When did he get access again?"

"Different server," he answered sharply. "If I take away any more of his privileges he'll be a completely dead weight. And I don't have the time to deal with his bad attempts to hack into the system. He screws up more data that way."

"Ah. I suppose shooting him isn't an option either." Finally standing up, John went over to the bed and started working off his boots.

"Sorry. Look, I'm probably not in the best of moods right now. It might—"

"Rodney, take off your shoes."

"Like I was saying," Rodney said sharply, "it might not be a good idea—"

"And your shirt. Those always get in the way of good backrubs."

"Wh-what?" That stopped the scientist mid-step.

Finally getting his own boots off, he slid to his knees and started working on Rodney's. "Backrub. All those knots I worked out last night have come back, if your posture is any indication. Remind me to add sit-ups to your training schedule. Strengthening up your abs will actually help a little with that."

"I will do no such thing," Rodney replied with a scowl, but let Sheppard take off his boots and socks. "And the next thing you're going to tell me is that pants and boxers get in the way of a good backrub, too."

"Well, since you mentioned it..." Grinning, John got the shoes off and stood, stripping his own shirt off. Then he reached over and pulled Rodney in for a kiss, murmuring against his lips when they finally came up for air. "I've wanted to do that all day."

"All day?" Rodney's eyebrow rose. "Really?"

"All damn day. But especially after lunch. You swish your ass when you walk, and it makes me want to do dirty things to it."

"I do not swish," Rodney pouted, pressing his lips to Sheppard's again, sighing as their bodies clung together.

"Yes, you do, and it is unbelievably hot." John got his fingers under the hem of Rodney's shirt and tugged.

"Fine," he said stepped back far enough to let Sheppard pull it over his head. He unbuttoned his BDUs and slid both his pants and boxers off together, dropping them onto the desk behind him. "Happy?"

"Mmmmmmm." John got his own pants off, then pushed Rodney over to the bed. "On your stomach. I wasn't kidding about the backrub."

McKay glanced over his shoulder, an incredulous look on his face, but he complied, settling down on the bed with his face pillowed on his arms. "I could get used to this you know."

John straddled him, the soft material of his boxers rubbing the backs of Rodney's legs. "I certainly hope so."

Rodney huffed. "Can you just get started already?"

John started to knead, fingers finding the tightest knots and working them free. He was quiet as he worked, letting Rodney drift as he gradually worked all the tension out of his body.

Rodney groaned when he hit several spots, hissing in pain at others, before purring as the knots unwound and the muscles unclenched.

When John got down to his lower back, he didn't stop, continuing south and working his ass cheeks. Rodney realized John was humming softly under his breath as he worked.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, lifting his head to glance over his shoulder.

"Mmm hmm. You?"

"Less tense than when you started."

"Then I need to keep working. I'm aiming for blissed out." He shifted down again, this time working on Rodney's thighs, which he hadn't even realized were tight until Sheppard started making the muscles relax.

"Ow, ow, ow. Okay, that's making me tense. Stop." Rodney had shifted up onto his elbows.

John stopped, but cocked his head slightly. "You know you'll feel better if you let me work these knots out too. They're a bitch and hurt like hell, but you'll notice a difference later."

"Well, right now they hurt."

John leaned forward to plant kisses on each thigh. "I know."

"I told you this was a bad idea."

"No, it's not. I'm not just after you for the hot sex you know. I can handle just being the guy you rant at when you've had a bad day."

Rodney snorted, but didn't comment. He didn't move to lay back down either.

John swung his leg off and crawled up the bed. When he was close enough, he leaned down to catch Rodney's mouth in another kiss. It was an awkward angle, but John didn't care.

McKay didn't respond immediately, but he slowly relented, kissing him back tentatively.

John pushed him onto his back and straddled him again. He moved his kisses down, stopping at Rodney's neck before moving further south to catch a nipple.

Rodney moaned, the nub still sensitive from the night before, his hands reaching out, stroking John's shoulders carefully, slowly.

John sucked lightly, lapping at it a few times, before he pulled off and switched to the other one, this time biting lightly before soothing it with licks, only to bite it again.

Rodney squirmed and moaned under the assault and John could feel the scientist's cock hardening as he finally relaxed, letting himself feel.

He pulled off, grinning down at the flushed face. He got a sudden idea. From what Rodney had told him, no one had ever really spent the time to pleasure him. Swinging a leg off, he nudged at Rodney to roll over again. "I want to kiss your ass. Literally."

"What?" Rodney opened his eyes, the dilated pupils looking at him like he was crazy.

"I want access to your ass. Turn over."

Rodney huffed, but obeyed, gingerly settling back down on the bed and arranging himself carefully.

Humming to himself as he settled between Rodney's legs, John kissed each perky globe once. "You have a really amazing ass."

He decided to start slow, working his way around, nipping, licking, and sucking until he could feel Rodney squirm beneath him. Then, when he was pretty sure the man was distracted, he moved in on his real target, licking around the little hole before pushing the tip of his tongue in. The taste was pure Rodney—musky and unique.

"Holy crap!" Rodney said, nearly rising off the bed. If it weren't for Sheppard's grip on his hips, he would have.

John continued humming, working his tongue inside slowly. Once he had the area good and wet with his saliva, he worked a finger in along side it.

Rodney squirmed and moaned as Sheppard continued to work at him. After a while, he began to push back against him, John's finger sliding in deeper.

With a deep groan, John finally pulled away, although he left his finger where it was. A quick glance around and he saw the lube on the table. He managed to shift enough to grab it without releasing his hold on Rodney's beautiful ass, only pulling out to slick it up along with a second finger and slip them both back in. "You are so fucking hot like this. God, Rodney..."

The scientist starting moved, rocking in a slow rhythm, fucking himself on John's fingers, his back glistening as he started to sweat. His inarticulate moans became a litany of whispered words. "Oh, that feels so good. I need more. Deeper, need you deeper. Feels good."

John also realized that Rodney was rubbing against the bed, the friction threatening to give him an early release. He dug the fingers of his free hand into Rodney's hips stopping the movement, eliciting a groan of complaint.

"Not yet." He pulled his fingers free, the whine of protest making his own cock jump painfully inside his boxers. "Up on your knees, keep your arms and head on the bed."

"Nononono," Rodney complained with a whine. "That was working just fine."

"But this will be better." He trailed a slick finger along Rodney's hole, not pushing back in.

Groaning, Rodney pressed his head into the bed, wiggling his ass a little as if the movement would make John's finger slide into place.

"Ah ah, not until you get it up. I don't want you coming early—not until I'm so deep inside you can taste my come."

"Oh, come on!"

John couldn't help the dirty smirk that sprung to his lips. He leaned down enough to whisper in Rodney's ear. "I want to finger you until you're incoherent with need. Then I plan to slide in nice and slow, burying myself deep in your hot little ass. Then, when you can't stand it anymore, I'll start to move, slamming hard into your prostate and making you scream. That's when I'll touch your cock, bring you off."

Rodney groaned again, but slowly moved, getting his knees under him, legs spread, opening him up and angling his ass upward. "You are evil."

John took a few seconds to admire, the position showing off all Rodney's assets—he had to fight not to snicker at the word—nicely. "But it's a good kind of evil." He didn't give Rodney time to anticipate, shoving his fingers back in deep and crooking them to hit his prostate.

"Oh, yes," Rodney moaned, his whole body shuddering. His breath caught and he pushed back again, driving John's fingers in deeper.

John shuddered. His boxers needed to come off now. With more coordination that he thought he still had, he managed to get them off one-handed. "God...Rodney... You're so...." He wiggled a third finger in, wishing he could just bury himself balls-deep, but knowing Rodney still needed to be stretched if he was going to do it without hurting him.

McKay moaned as the third finger was added—part arousal, part discomfort—but it didn't stop him from pressing back against John's hand.

Forcing himself to move slowly, John continued the easy back and forth, only stopping when he needed to add more lube, until he felt Rodney relax completely. He was aching with need, and finally couldn't wait anymore. He withdrew his fingers again, quickly slicking himself up—sending a quick thanks to doctors and their insistence they all be tested for every disease known to man or Ancient after every mission, since that meant no condoms necessary—and slid home, his body shaking with the effort of moving so slow.

"Oh…" Rodney whispered, shuddering as John sheathed himself completely. "Oh…that feels so good…so full…" He was nearly purring.

"Rodney...." Needing to touch, to be closer still, John wrapped his arms around Rodney's waist and sat back, pulling Rodney into his lap. He wiggled a little to get the angle right, then let his lover sink down those last few extra millimeters, going deeper still. He found a nipple with each of his now-free hands, rolling them lightly in opposite directions.

A shudder ran through Rodney's entire body, his head dropping back against John's shoulder. "Oh God…oh…" His hand moved to grasp his hard, weeping cock.

Letting go of a nipple, John caught his hand, stopping it from reaching its goal. "No, that's mine." He took advantage of the proximity of that sexy mouth, pulling Rodney into a deep kiss.

Even though the angle was awkward, Rodney kissed John back hungrily and yet slowly, seemingly able to put his desire and need into it. Their tongues battled and teased before Rodney just opened up beneath him, moaning in pleasure as his free hand managed to wrap around behind John, settling on his ass.

John pulled free, trailing kisses down the exposed neck until he came to the mark from last night. He licked at it and pinched the nipple still between his fingers hard at the same time.

"Oh, god!" Rodney said, arching his back as much as John's embrace would allow. "Oh…god…you feel so good…make me feel so full, so good," he murmured breathlessly, tilting his head as best he could to give John more access.

He couldn't stop himself from making a few short, hard thrusts, pushing Rodney up slightly, then letting him sink back down. He panted, trying to get control, but when Rodney started clenching around him, he let out a high-pitched whine. "If you don't...stop that....this will be over too soon."

"'kay," Rodney said, once he was able to catch his breath, a slight smirk on his face. "We can't have that."

"Oh, God. You are so fucking evil." John groaned as Rodney wiggled in his lap. He released both the wrist and nipple, putting his hands on Rodney's hips and urging him to rise up on his knees. "Fuck me. Fuck yourself on me."

"And you say I'm evil," Rodney complained as he tried to get his pleasure-hungry body to move. It was only small motions at first, before he was able to rise up, almost letting John slide completely out of his ass before he dropped back down, seating himself fully—both of them groaning at the sensation.

"Ohgodohgod so tight, you feel so good, Rodney..." It was all he could do to hold on, not come. He wanted to feel Rodney's pleasure first, so he reached for the weeping, neglected cock and began to pump in time to Rodney's thrusts. "Come for me. Come now."

"Not yet, please not yet," he begged, raising and lowering himself, the movements growing more erratic as he drew closer and closer to completion.

"Please, oh God, please, need to come, Rodney please, need to feel you, need you..."

"Come…I need to…want to feel you inside me longer…I’m so full…feels so good," he panted, his movements not letting up.

John half-sobbed, not able to hold back any longer as Rodney slammed down onto him. His whole body seemed to spasm, and it went on and on and on, the world turning a fuzzy shade of sex, until he was pretty sure he didn't have any brain cells left. He managed to fall backwards without rolling them both off, trying to catch his breath. "Sorry, oh God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come first. Rodney..."

"Amazing," Rodney whispered, a smile on his face. "Please don't pull out yet. I want to feel you in me for as long as I can."

"Oh my, God, you really are trying to kill me, you evil bastard." John grinned as he said the words, then noticed Rodney was still hard. He waved a hand that felt about ten times too heavy, in the general direction of the leaking erection. "Give me a second to recover, and I'll do something about that."

"I'm okay," he said, wiggling his ass with a sigh of contentment.

The movement on his overly sensitive dick made John keen a bit. He managed to get a hand onto Rodney and after a few uncoordinated moments, he managed to get a rhythm going. "If we ever get back to Earth, I'm buying you a plug and me a cock ring at the first opportunity." He managed to sit back up without pulling out, kissing the side of Rodney's neck. "I'm really sorry I came without getting you off first."

"Doesn't matter," he managed to say. "Used to it." He moaned as John's hand slid over his cock, his grip just shy of too light as Sheppard was determined to make this last.

"It does matter, and you damn well better not get used to it from me." He bit down lightly, not hard enough to mark again, but enough to let Rodney know there were teeth involved. "I don't do that to my lovers. You're just too damn fucking hot for your own good."

"No," he groaned, pressing back against John. "Just your average astrophysicist." He paused, taking in a deep breath as he closed his eyes. "You feel so good inside me. I can feel your come, warm and wet, feel it leaking around the edges…"

Despite himself, John felt his cock twitch at that, a valiant effort to rejoin the festivities, even as he continued stroking, gradually tightening his grip. "Nothing average about you."

"Well, I am a genius," Rodney said, clenching his ass around John's slowly hardening erection.

"In more ways than one." He moved back up Rodney's neck to whisper and nibble at his ear. He started flicking his tongue inside in time with his fist.

Rodney's murmurings slowly degraded into moans and sighs of pleasure as John continued to tease him, bringing him closer and closer to orgasm, but not letting him fall over.

"I want to taste you when you come. Will you let me suck you?" In two nights he already knew Rodney had an amazing kink for bottoming—and oh my God yes—so he thought he should probably ask before shoving him off and sucking him down.

McKay keened in reply, his ass clenching around John, his breath catching in his throat.

"I'll fuck you later, hard and fast, I promise."

As John's grip tightened on his cock, Rodney's body shuddered hard. He was so close to the edge, Sheppard knew. It wouldn't take much more to push him over. McKay finally nodded, a whispered agreement confirming it.

He wanted badly to taste, but he felt Rodney shudder as he started to shift them. He owed him this for coming early. "Oh, God, fine, later. Don't think you're getting out of being fucking devoured. God, you just...tell me what you need." He sped up his hand, using the other to work a finger in alongside his dick and moving it in small thrusts that had them both panting.

"Oh, god! So much…feel so good, so full…oh….oh…" he said, and John could feel Rodney's balls contract and a moment later he was coming hard, very hard, clenching around Sheppard as spurt after spurt erupted out of him, coating John's hand and Rodney's entire front.

He nursed Rodney through the aftershocks, then wrapped his arms around him, holding him close, his own need still blunted enough from coming earlier that he could ignore it for now.

McKay shuddered a few more times before his entire body relaxed, slumping, completely boneless.

"You're sticky again. That's getting to be a habit."

But when Rodney didn't reply, didn't move, a panic worked its way through John.

"Rodney?" He heard his voice go up a notch.

Nothing.

His erection was rapidly fading to be replaced by fear.

Pulling out, he managed to get worked around, holding Rodney's limp body in his arms. His lover was out cold. Quickly reassuring himself that McKay was breathing and his pulse normal, John arranged him carefully on the bed before retreating to the bathroom, heart pounding. He hadn't expected the sharp tang of terror when Rodney hadn't responded, hadn't expected...

He slumped down against the sink, trying to catch his breath.

***

Rodney McKay woke slowly, arms holding him close to a warm, naked chest, blankets pulled up over him.

What happened? The last thing he remembered was Sheppard's cock up his ass and him coming really hard.

He felt his pulse speeding up as he moved, but the arms tightened down, holding him closer.

"Welcome back."

"Sheppard?" he asked, trying to turn, to glance over his shoulder, but John held him in place. "What?"

"You've been out for about twenty minutes. I was giving you ten more before I called Carson. And we're naked in bed. It's John." He could hear a thread of something underneath the casual tone.

"No…that's not right," Rodney said, shaking his head. He could feel his chest tightening. "Can't be right."

He felt a tremor run through the body holding him. "You scared the shit out of me."

"But I don't…I've never…"

"I mean, I'm all for the compliment of whiting out during an orgasm, that means I've done something right. But out fucking cold for twenty minutes is not something I've ever had a lover do. I was starting to wonder if I really had killed you. Given you a stroke or something, with my cock still up your ass." John's voice was starting to edge towards hysteria.

This time Rodney forced his way, managing to turn around so he was facing Sheppard. "I'm fine. I’m here. That's never happened before. I’m sorry." He pressed his lips to the other man's, letting Sheppard take what he needed.

John's mouth was hard and desperate. When he pulled away, he buried his face in Rodney's shoulder, still shaking slightly. "Just...I mean now that I know it can happen fine, but I've never...and you weren't talking or moving...Sorry. I...I know I'm not supposed to lose it like this."

"It's okay. I must have come so hard my pressure bottomed out or something. I’m sorry." Rodney wrapped his arms around the other man, holding on tight, threading his hands through Sheppard's hair.

"Stop apologizing. Not your fault I'm a total basket case. God I feel like the twelve-year-old girl you're always accusing me of being, freaking out because my lover had such an amazing orgasm he passed out." John wiggled a bit, moving their bodies closer together, practically wrapping himself around Rodney.

"Means you must have done something right," Rodney commented, smiling against Sheppard's neck.

"And I'm all for that. Just next time, maybe send me flowers or something." He felt a weak grin pressed into his shoulder.

"You mean pollen-carrying allergy machines? I don't think so."

"I also accept things that fly, candy, and laser guns."

"Well, I might be able to give you a big space gun. Will that count?"

John hummed into his skin. "Yeah, that'll work. Being stuck for thirty hours in close quarters with you and knowing I can't so much as leer at you because there are two more people in the back is going to hurt though. Think we can come up with a reason to lock them in the cargo hold that won't sound suspicious?"

"You don't have to go. Send someone else."

"Right, because letting you go off gallivanting across the universe to see a big damn space gun without me is really an option. I'm still in the middle of a freak out that you might die from me fucking you. Do you really think I'm going to let you go on a mission without me?"

Rodney shrugged, trying not to tense up, but knowing he was failing miserably. "I'm not twelve. I can take care of myself. And I'm fine. I didn't mean to scare you."

He heard John sigh. "I know you can, Rodney. I just...You weren't talking, or moving. You were breathing, but how the hell do I know what a stroke looks like? If I could get away with it, we would spend the next few days just lying here so I can make sure you're still alive. I need to know you're all right."

"I'm fine," Rodney said firmly, moving to take Sheppard's head in his hands. "Look. I understand it was a little terrifying, but I'm fine. Look at me. Feel me. I’m right here."

"Fuck me? I know...I usually prefer to top, but I need to feel you and I don't think I can...Please?" John closed his eyes, but Rodney could read the desperation lining his face.

"I…" Rodney was more than a little shocked at the request. That shock, however, quickly turned to embarrassment when he realized that he had no earthly idea of even how to start. "I…"

He could feel the small tremors running through John's body, and the other man started to pull away, eyes still closed. "No, it's okay. Never mind. I just..."

"I will, I've just never…" he trailed off, ducking his head until it was lying against Sheppard's shoulder, the heat of his flushed cheeks warm against his cool skin.

"Never?" John's tone was surprised, shocked. "I won't let you hurt me, I promise. I...please?" His voice was small and lost, two things Rodney had never expected to hear from John Sheppard.

Rodney sighed. No one had ever wanted this from him. He was just there to take whatever they'd give. "Never."

"Fuck me." Rodney felt John fumble for something as he whispered, then the tube of lube was pressed into his hand. "Please. Need to know you're alive, okay, and I can't...I was still in you, and you were out, and it wasn't for just a second…please?"

"I…I don't know if I can," he admitted, wanting to be able to do what John wanted and hating himself for his fear, his inexperience. Whatever happened to simple and straightforward? "I…I don't even know where to begin and I don't know if I can."

"I...can talk you through it. You know what you like, right?" He felt more than heard John's indrawn, broken breath. "You don't have to if you really don't want to."

"And what if I can’t? What then?"

"Rodney, it's okay, really. I just... I know you prefer bottoming, and I almost always top, but I have bottomed before, and I like it sometimes and I thought...but it's okay. Really." John turned in his arms and pressed himself backwards into Rodney, pulling his legs up a little.

Rodney closed his eyes, leaning his head against Sheppard's back. It's not that he didn't want to fuck him. He would, but the whole mechanics… The women he'd fucked had always complained. He was too rough, too cautious, too big, too small. He'd never been able to get it right and with a man…that had never been an option. He'd been dumped for less than this.

He sighed before levering himself upright and out of bed, heading for the bathroom.

"Rodney?"

He didn't answer, letting the bathroom doors close behind him as he turned the faucet on, using a few handfuls of water to wash his face, using a bath towel to rub it dry. Sheppard had apparently cleaned him up while he was unconscious, so there was no need for him to do it now, but he needed the space. Fastening the towel around his waist, he walked back out, heading for the small balcony attached to Sheppard's quarters. He leaned against the railing thinking about how much he wanted this and how much it hurt to know that it was probably because of him that it might not be possible.

He should have known better. Nothing as good as this ever happened without some big, huge, horrible consequences.

It was a long time before John came looking for him, the doors opening soundlessly, the light suddenly spilling out of the room the only indication he was there. "Rodney?" The call was quiet and hesitant.

"I'm sorry," Rodney said, not turning around. "I want to, but I don't know if I can."

"I shouldn't have asked. I'm the one who's sorry. Although I can't believe no one has ever asked you to fuck them before. The idea that I could maybe be your first, if you ever changed you mind, is pretty hot." John moved silently, his arms suddenly wrapping themselves around Rodney's waist, head coming to rest on his shoulder.

"The…the thought terrifies me. I don't want to hurt you." He sighed, knowing this would probably be the last time he'd be held like this. The last time he couldn't do something he'd been dumped so fast… "I should probably go."

"I wouldn't let you hurt me." John's arms tightened around him. "You aren't going anywhere. I meant it when I said it was okay. Yes, I'd like to be fucked, but its okay that you don't want to."

"It's not that. I'd like to. I'd like to be able to, but no one's…I've never…" He sighed. "A simple thing and I can't even do it."

"You might surprise yourself, if you've never tried it. It feels really fucking fantastic. If you wanted to give it a shot, I could show you, teach you. We go as far as you're comfortable with, and then stop. Or not. It's up to you."

Rodney shifted so he could glance over his shoulder, surprise on his face. "But why would you even want to at this point? You should be disgusted with me, not trying to talk me down."

He saw the surprise on John's face. "Why would I be disgusted?"

"You've done everything I've asked and now I can't do the same."

"So? Not everyone likes the same things in bed. I happen to be kinkier than most in that there's not much I won't do, but everyone I've ever dated has had lines drawn, what they would and wouldn't do. It's not disgusting, Rodney, and yes, I still want you."

"But…but why?" He turned, shoving out of Sheppard's arms to stride a few feet away, the anger bleeding away as quickly as it came. He took a breath, letting it out slowly. "Look. I'm sorry. I…I'd like to try, but right now I don't think you'll get any cooperation from me." He gestured to his towel-clad middle.

"Why would you think I wouldn't?" John sounded genuinely confused. "Look, let's go back inside. It's kinda cold to be standing out here commando."

"You should have thought about that before following me out," he groused, but allowed himself to be led inside, shivering at the temperature difference.

John gently led him back to the bed, grabbing the towel and tossing it aside as they went, pushing him down into it and curling up alongside him. Rodney could feel the little shivers as John scooted closer for warmth. "I followed you out because you weren't showing any sign of coming back in. And I like it better when you're in here with me."

While John said all the right words in the right tone, Rodney didn't understand how that could be the case, how John could lead him back to bed like nothing had changed. He'd turned down fucking John Sheppard. Was he stupid? Apparently when it came to his sex life, he was.

"It's still pretty early," Rodney finally commented needing to fill the silence with something.

"Yeah. I'm not really tired yet. You?"

"No, not really."

"We still have those DVDs to watch."

Rodney shook his head. "No." While remotely interesting, that wasn't what he had in mind. Honestly, he'd rather spend the night just kissing John, but he wasn't even sure it was even an option.

"All right." He felt John's shrug. "I wasn't really in the mood for them either."

Rodney shifted, turning again to face Sheppard. He leaned in to kiss him, making his intention known so the man could push him away if he wanted, pausing before he made contact. "Can we just…do this for a little while and then see where we're at?"

John's eyes widened slightly, and Rodney saw a spark of desire in them. "I think I can handle that." He grinned before closing the distance between them, pulling Rodney in for a long, deep kiss.

Sighing, McKay pulled back, pushing John until Rodney was lying on top, his forearms placed carefully on either side of Sheppard's head, their bodies touching from chest to toes. He pressed his forehead to Sheppard's, just breathing for a minute, before kissing the corner of his mouth, lightly, teasingly. He wanted John to feel good, wanted him to know just how much John drove him crazy.

John gave a quiet moan, his hands moving to pet Rodney's back. He felt his lover arch a little into his body.

Getting a little braver, Rodney moved, hovering over Sheppard's eyes until the other man closed his eyelids and McKay leaned down, kissing them both gently, several times. He moved to the pressure points on his face, bestowing each with a fleeting kiss before heading down along the side of his head, breathing into an ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth before going on to the other side.

Rodney could feel Sheppard hardening under him, obviously enjoying the attention, but nothing was happening in that department for him. He sighed quietly, moving down to attack Sheppard's neck—licking and sucking and kissing—until John was squirming under him, moaning in pleasure, in obvious desire.

"Rodney, please, more..."

Smiling into John's neck, he bit down, gently, feeling Sheppard shift and groan. Blowing air over it, he changed sides, teasing and licking, tasting the man under him before heading back to Sheppard's lips, He caught them in a tentative kiss before bearing down, licking John's mouth open and exploring it with his tongue.

John moaned again, opening up and letting Rodney do whatever he wanted.

McKay trembled, but not from desire, but fear. He'd never been in this position before. He was guessing. Trying anything he could think of, but quickly running out of things to do and he didn't want to screw this up. Not again.

One of John's hands moved to his nipple. "Do...what I'm doing...to you." He began to roll it lightly, teasing.

Rodney bit back a groan and shifted down Sheppard's body, John's hand pulling free. He stared at John's erect and red nipples for a moment before leaning down, taking one into his mouth, tonguing it lightly before pulling back and blowing gently across it. Sheppard growled and shivered, so he continued licking and sucking until John was moaning with need beneath him. McKay moved over, repeating the process with the other nipple, his hand gently circling the one he'd teased.

"Ohgodohgod, Rodney... more...please...harder..." John writhed underneath him, words falling off into incoherent moans. He hadn't been kidding when he said he liked this.

Rodney smiled against the right nipple as his hand attacked the left one, his right hand sliding down to Sheppard's cock, beginning to touch him, using the pre-cum for lubrication. Stroking, with a twist at the top, Sheppard was slowly becoming undone under him, his hips jerking. When he felt John's balls begin to pull up he bit down on the one nipple while pinching the other firmly. Seconds later, Sheppard came with a roar.

McKay worked him through the aftershocks, before sliding up to rest along his side as Sheppard caught his breath.

When his eyes finally opened, his pupils were still blown out. They went straight to Rodney's dick. "Didn't enjoy it?"

McKay shrugged, hand fingering the hair on Sheppard's chest. "You did. That's all that matters."

With a sigh, John pushed himself up on his elbows, breath hitching at the touch despite himself. "Didn't we already have that conversation?"

"Did we? I don't recall."

John sucked in another breath as Rodney's hand found his nipple again. "Yes we...God...stop trying to distract me. I want you to enjoy it too. Want you to feel good."

Rodney lifted his hand, gesturing with it. "Brain…thinking too much."

"Then we should do something about that. If we try hard enough, I bet we can shut that brain of yours off for a little while."

Rodney snorted. "And look where that got us the last time."

John shivered. "Okay, so bad analogy. No unconsciousness this time, all right? But we can give you something else to think about." He reached out, running a hand through Rodney's hair, trailing it down to run a thumb across his jaw.

He sighed, closing his eyes. He wished it were this easy, that Sheppard could just rub his hand over him and make everything better. "Easier said than done, I’m afraid."

"What are you so afraid of?"

At this point, Rodney didn't think he had any dignity left, so what did it matter if he answered? "Screwing up more than I have already. That's plenty."

"You haven't screwed up. Not at all." John's smile was gentle.

"I'm trying here. I just don't know what else to do."

"You're doing just fine. I don't want anything you don't want to give, so that makes it easy."

"I want to be able to give back some. It's just not something I've done."

John leaned in and ghosted a kiss across his lips. "And that's fine. If you want to try it, let me be your first, that's great. But if not, if you want to exclusively bottom, I really don't mind. Like I said before, I almost always prefer to top myself, it's only occasionally that I get the urge to do it the other way."

"I'd like to try, but as you can see…" Rodney sighed, closing his eyes.

"Tell you what, why don't we try it with me doing the work? Top from the bottom so to speak, like I did to you earlier."

"It would still require one vital piece to the so-called puzzle, which we do not have."

"Are you willing to lie back for a minute and trust me?"

"I trust you, but you know that already."

The smile he got for that was almost blinding, and John leaned in for a deep kiss before reversing their earlier positions, getting Rodney on his back and pushing his arms over his head. "Close your eyes and just focus on what I'm doing, nothing else."

"Sheppard…" he whined, but John put a finger over his lips.

"Shhh, just feel for while." Like he had the night before, John started at the tips of Rodney's right hand, this time just using his mouth to suck and lick and nip each finger, moving on to his palm, then down his arm, before moving to the other side of the bed to start on the other arm.

It felt so good, Sheppard's mouth on him, touching him, but how could he be so forgiving, so understanding?

"Stop thinking," John murmured when he got to the end of the second arm. "Just feel." He moved south, once again avoiding the usual suspects—his nipples practically ached for attention, but they were ignored.

"I’m a genius with a brain the size of the planet. The last time I stopped thinking you thought I was dead." He stopped suddenly realizing what had just come out of his mouth. His entire body tensed and he pushed himself up with this elbows, his eyes wide. "I'm sorry…"

John looked up through his eyelashes, and Rodney saw him roll his eyes. "Stop it. Lie back and just enjoy. I love your body, the way you taste. Believe me, I'm getting as much out of this as you are. Stop worrying."

"I worry. I can't help it."

With another eye roll, John stuck his finger in his mouth, getting it wet with saliva, before slipping it down and in Rodney's ass without any more warning at all. "I know for a fact this will distract you."

Rodney head hit the pillow hard as his arms gave out. He tried to control himself and not push into John's hand. "Oh!"

He heard a dirty chuckle. "Thought that would do the trick." The finger teased for a moment before withdrawing and John resumed his feast of Rodney's body.

"You play dirty," Rodney growled, his body starting to relax. "And I thought this was about you."

"What gave you that idea? It's always about you, McKay." John chuckled against the inside of his thigh.

"What do you mean 'it's always about me'?" He sat up again, glaring down at Sheppard.

Instead of replying, John stuck his finger in his mouth again, so at least this time Rodney knew what was coming. It still didn't stop him from responding the exact same way. Damn his traitorous body. "That wasn't an answer."

"Never said it was." John worked the finger in and out slowly until Rodney was squirming. Then he withdrew it again.

Rodney closed his eyes, forcing his muscles to unclench while willing his mind to stop spinning. It wasn't easy, but Sheppard was distracting.

His lover had reached the bottom of one leg, and started working his way up the other. He never realized knees could be an erotic zone before.

By the time Sheppard made it back up to his hip, Rodney's cock had begun to get with the program, starting to harden—slowly. It was something.

John shifted, and Rodney thought he was going to continue his meandering way up his side again, but Sheppard surprised him again, and suddenly his cock was encased in a hot, wet mouth.

He hardened the rest of the way quickly, his back arching off the bed as his eyes flew open. "Oh god!"

John chuckled around him, the vibrations sending him up off the bed again. When Rodney was panting and starting to get close, the heat disappeared to be replaced with firm pressure around the base of his dick, pushing the impending orgasm off.

"Nononononono!"

"In a minute. Do you still want to come in me?" John's voice was rough, and Rodney saw that he was hard again, and already leaking.

"I'll…I'll…yes."

Then his eyes widened as he realized where John's other hand was. He had apparently been stretching himself while he sucked Rodney off. "Give me your hand."

"I…okay," Rodney said, sitting up, reaching for John's hand, his breath coming fast, his erection reminding him about its neglect.

John slicked up his fingers with lube—and when had he retrieved that?—then got up on his knees and guided Rodney to his hole. "This...ung...is what it feels like when I'm stretched enough with one finger to accept two."

"It's…oh…" Rodney said when his fingers pushed in up to the first knuckle. It was tight and hot and…wow. Looking up at John, McKay knew that his awe and surprise were showing clearly on his face.

John was panting, obviously enjoying it. He reached around, and wiggled his own finger in next to Rodney's. "This...oh god I forgot how good this can feel... we need to stretch it a bit until two fingers move easily." He wrapped the part of his hand not up his own ass around Rodney's and set up a slow movement in and out. As they moved further in, Rodney felt the tip of his finger brush a tiny bump inside, and John's whole body jerked. "Ohgodohgod right there...that's...prostate..."

"’kay," McKay said concentrating. "Should I scissor…a bit or something?" he asked as he got used to the rhythm Sheppard had set.

"Mmmm, ye...yes. Would be...good. Loose enough to...accept a... third finger now. Work another one...in next to...them and…scissor a bit....to stretch my...opening. Feel that ring of...muscle near the...entrance? That's what you have to...get past." John was panting hard, a fine sheen of sweat coating his body as he struggled to stay coherent enough to give directions.

Rodney nodded, tongue between his lips as he slowly finger-fucked John, using two fingers until it felt loose enough to add a third. He pulled out, adding lube before he started again, the tips of the three fingers fitting tightly. Sheppard groaned and Rodney waited a moment, feeling the muscles relax before pushing in. He worked at it for a little while longer, hitting John's prostate with every third stroke.

"God, Rodney, more, harder, please." John started rocking back onto the fingers, his own hands now both planted on Rodney's shoulders for balance. He could feel them clenching and unclenching in time to his thrusts. "I'm open enough. Please, God please, need you in me now. Tell me you're ready."

"Are you sure? I mean, I think you know if you're sure, but I just I don't want to hurt you or anything," he babbled, his fingers pausing mid-stroke.

The noise that came from John's throat could only be called a whine as he wiggled against Rodney's fingers. "Nownownownownow. Please. Lube. Put lube on your cock and fuck me."

"Oh…okay," Rodney said, his fingers coming free with a pop. Lube was quickly applied to his cock—still mostly hard. He stroked himself a few times and a few seconds later, John was trying to get his hand out of the way.

"Now, need you now. Fuck, Rodney..." He pushed up, and grabbed Rodney's cock, positioning it at his entrance. Then he started to slowly sink down, moaning as he did, head thrown back, until he had taken Rodney completely in. "Hold here...let me...adjust. Been a while...oh fuck it feels good...since I did this."

Rodney was flat on his back once again as Sheppard sat on him, impaled on his cock and…wow. He was tight and hot and he never knew it could be like this. "You're…this is…" Rodney didn't know how to finish either sentence, but he was going to have to move soon.

John wiggled a bit, causing them both to moan. "All right I'm going to...hold still for a minute while I find the right angle." He slid off part way, then adjusted and slid back down again. On the third pass, Rodney felt him jerk, and guessed that John had found his prostate. "That's...there..."

"Oh, God, Sheppard, I need…" Rodney glanced up at him, eyes wide.

"John. You have your dick up my ass. It's John, goddamnit. Fuck, I need..." This time he rose almost all the way off, a slow glide, then without warning slammed himself all the way back down.

"Fuck!" Rodney's half-shout forced him up, grabbing at John and pulling him down. He managed to roll them, getting on top as he ground down a little further before moving his hips, pulling back and thrusting in—slowly. It was warm and tight and wrapped around him like nothing else ever had.

"Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. Rodney, harder please fuck me now harder faster." John was trying to thrust up to meet him, and one hand moved towards his own leaking erection.

"Touch yourself, please. I can't…" Rodney pressed his face into John's shoulder, trying to speed up but afraid he'd hurt him.

"Pleasepleaseplease, fuck, Rodney, need to feel you..." John's words trailed off to series of groans and needy whines. He was trying to work his hand between their bodies, but finally seemed to give it up and started thrusting up against Rodney's body then back down onto his dick. Rodney knew when he found John's prostate again because his lover bucked and nearly dislodged him.

Remembering the angle, Rodney shifted trying to get more leverage and started short, firm thrusts in and out, managing to hit John's prostate with each and every pass, the man beginning to convulse beneath him. "Please…touch yourself. You have to come soon. I can't keep this up," Rodney said, panting, his body starting to drip with sweat.

John finally got a hand around himself and started to jerk off in time to Rodney's thrusts. With a final scream, John suddenly spasmed all around him, come striping both their chests.

With the muscles contracting around him, Rodney only managed a few more trusts before he was coming, his cock spilling deep within John. His body slumped on top of the still shuddering man. With a pounding heart, Rodney pulled out and slid to John's side, panting.

"Wow."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Rodney asked, his post-coital bliss cut short as soon as his brain engaged again.

"Mmmmm." John turned enough to curl into Rodney. "S'good."

"Because I really didn't want to hurt you, but I had to move and that was the only way I could think of but I didn't know if that was going to be okay or not, but you were driving me nuts the other way—"

"Fantastic. Gonna sleep now. Well-fucked."

"But we can't sleep like this. We'll stick together."

"Details."

"I didn't break you, did I?"

John finally looked up, blinking, eyes still blown with pleasure. "I'm better than fine, Rodney. You just holler if you ever want to do it that way again. It was really, really good. I had forgotten how amazing bottoming could feel."

"I…ah….maybe." Rodney ducked his head, feeling his cheeks flush.

The lopsided grin John gave him was full of affection. "So, since you don't want to sleep glued together, we should go shower. I'm not going to be able to get it up again though, I should warn you now."

"I doubt I can."

"Good. Just making sure we're both on the same page." With a groan he pushed himself into a seated position, and Rodney caught the edge of a wince.

"Oh, God!" he said, sitting up immediately. "I did hurt you! I knew I shouldn’t have agreed. I didn't want to hurt—"

"Rodney, stop. You can't tell me you aren't a little sore after getting well-fucked. You couldn't sit at all this morning. I just haven't bottomed like that in more than ten years. I let a few girlfriends finger me, but I hadn't been with a guy since before I enlisted. It's really fine, and it was really good. You didn't hurt me."

"It's…ten years? Then why now? Why me?" Rodney rose, hiding his own wince, as they started toward the bathroom.

"You..." He caught John watching him from the corner of his eye. "To be perfectly honest, with you...I wanted, needed to feel you inside me. And I don't suppose we could talk about something else?" The water had kicked in when they reached the shower, and John ducked under it, a pained expression on his face.

"Sure," Rodney said, his eyes dropping, hands finding the washcloth on the corner shelf. After a nearly disastrous night, he'd do anything to make Sheppard comfortable with him again.

"I...fuck. Rodney, I'm sorry. I'm being an ass, and this is pretty much how I manage to fuck up every relationship I've ever been in. I just...this is...I'm not good at the whole feelings thing."

"It's fine. You think I’m any better?" He found the soap and poured a handful on the cloth, rubbing it together to make some suds.

"No, it's not fine." John wrapped himself around Rodney's back. "I'm sorry. It was really amazing, and I want to do it again that way if you do. I...you made me care, and I haven't, about anyone, even as a friend, for a long time. It's going to take some getting used to. That's why now, why you. I...needed you."

"I'm sorry that I…freaked you out. I…that's never happened to me before."

"It's okay. Now that I know it doesn't mean I killed you, that I am, in fact, a sex God capable of not just rendering you speechless but unconscious as well with my amazing prowess, I'm better with the whole thing." He could feel the grin pressed into his shoulder.

Rodney snorted. "And you think I have an ego."

"Hey, I earned mine. I think you should make me a plaque or trophy or something. John Sheppard, Sex God."

Sighing, Rodney began washing himself before he managed to rinse all of the soap out of the washcloth before he even started.

"Gonna do me, too?" John let go of his back and worked his way around to stand in front of Rodney. He leaned back against the wall, eyes sparkling. "I'm all sticky because you fucked me senseless."

"I think I already did you," Rodney said, rolling his eyes. But he moved, adding more soap, spending some time cleaning Sheppard, rubbing the cloth all over, making him turn so he could wash his back. Rodney bent down to examine his ass, to make sure he hadn't done any damage.

John was humming softly, letting Rodney turn him and push him around. He seemed to know his lover needed the reassurance of making sure he really was okay.

And he did look okay, but Rodney was still going to insist on John using the cream Carson had given him this morning. He still had it with him in his jacket pocket. Standing, McKay finished, positioning Sheppard under the spray to rinse him off.

Once he was done, he maneuvered John to the side so he could finish.

"All better now?" Stepping out of the shower, John already had a towel and was running it through his hair by the time Rodney finished.

"There's cream I want you to use," McKay said, grabbing a spare towel as he started drying off.

"Cream?" John paused in mid-towel, one eyebrow going up.

"I got it from Carson this morning."

"Jesus... I'm _fine_ , Rodney. I don't need any cream." Rolling his eyes, John finished drying off and disappeared back into the bedroom. "Come to bed!" drifted out behind him.

Rodney took his time, drying himself carefully, wincing at his own well-fucked ass. Sitting was going to be interesting. He wiped a hand over the steamed-up mirror, clearing up a small patch so he could see himself. He fingered the bruise on his neck again, just like he'd done this morning.

"Rod-ney," Sheppard sing-songed from the bedroom.

McKay ignored him, stepping closer to the mirror, his eyes tracing the edges of the hickey, his fingertip lightly following behind. This meant something, something important. He didn't hear Sheppard come up behind him.

"It's already starting to fade." Long, lean fingers joined his, touching the mark.

"You put this here," Rodney said quietly, meeting Sheppard's gaze in the mirror.

"Yes." John traced the mark, several emotions darkening his eyes, although he didn't break the gaze.

"Do it again?"

John pushed hard on the bruise, making it twinge. "God, yes. If you'd let me, you'd always have my mark on you."

Rodney broke their gaze and turned, looking up at Sheppard with wide eyes. "Please."

John sucked in a breath. "Rodney... you...yes. Always." He leaned in to kiss the spot. "I'll have to do the other side, let this one heal first. I don't want to hurt you."

"You can't do the same spot?"

"I can. It will hurt more if I do it before it's completely healed from the last time though." John was watching him from under his long lashes, and he hadn't made any moves to switch to the other side yet. "This is my spot, but..."

"Do it. Please."

Growling, John hooked one arm around Rodney's waist, holding him in place. He spent several minutes working at it slowly to renew the bruise.

Rodney felt his knees weaken, but welcomed the pain. It reminded him that this was real and not some strange dream. He moaned as he tilted his head to the side, making sure Sheppard had enough room. He'd slid his arms around John, holding on.

John pulled off slowly, letting skin slide out from between his lips, the moving back in to kiss the bruise. "You are so fucking amazing."

Lifting his eyes, he met John's. "Are you sure you're done?"

"For now. That will hold through the briefing and mission. By the time we get back, it'll probably be mostly gone." John was watching him carefully, and Rodney read the silent question for what it was.

He nodded, once. Yes.

He was a bit taken aback at the huge smile he got in return. Sheppard did not normally wear that sort of happy, bouncy-puppy look usually found on Ford. "Why don't we go to bed? I don't know about you, but I could sleep for a week. I can't imagine why. Not like I'm getting any extra exercise or anything."

Rodney nodded, watching Sheppard carefully. "Sure. It's still pretty early I imagine," he said, letting John lead him back into the bedroom. "I can go back to my quarters."

John turned and had him in a tight embrace before he could blink. "No. Stay."

McKay didn't realize how much he needed this kind of touching until he started to receive it. He was hoping Sheppard would tell him to stay, but he didn't want to assume. He nodded, not trusting his voice, letting the movement of his head on John's chest answer for him.

He felt the tiniest bit of tension drain from John's frame. "Come on. I don't know about you, but I really am worn out in a sated, post-coital kind of way. Let's get some sleep. We have the briefing tomorrow, and a mission the following day, so we won't be able to do this tomorrow night."

"Might be a good thing for my ass' sake," Rodney said as John slid into the bed, lifting the covers for him to follow him in.

"Mmmm, need to let it recover a bit?"

"It hasn't has this much attention in a very long time," Rodney replied, sitting gingerly before swinging his legs up. Sheppard covered them both with the blanket before pulling him close.

"A crying shame. An ass that perfect deserves to be well-fucked on a regular basis." John snuggled them both together, bodies falling naturally into position. "It really is too bad we haven't found the cache of Ancient sex toys yet."

"Still early."

"This is true. I'd like to be put on the list for dibs when they're found. I could make up a list of everything you should hide from the rest of the science team. Better yet, just bring them all back here." John caught his chin with a thumb and angled it up, and Rodney caught a grin before he was being kissed breathless again.

Once Sheppard let his lips go, Rodney replied. "No one else is getting their hands on them when I do find them."

The chuckle John gave was downright dirty. "I'm thinking the Ancients had to have some pretty cool toys. I'm picturing a vibrating dildo with temperature control. Mmmmmm."

"I'm sure I could make one."

John jerked slightly. "You...really? God having a genius boyfriend has perks." This time the kiss was enthusiastic and scorchingly hot. "It's my birthday in a few months..."

Rodney turned in Sheppard's arms to give him a better angle before he leaned up to kiss him again. It was wet and wild and McKay opened his mouth to let John in, tangling their legs so they were pressed together fully.

Taking him up on the invitation, John dove in, body pressing close. Neither of them could get an erection again, but that didn't really matter. When they finally parted, they were both gasping for air. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing you."

"Please, don't stop on my account," Rodney smirked.

"Insatiable. I like that." John started to say more, but was interrupted by a huge yawn. He blinked sheepishly.

"We should probably sleep," Rodney finally said with a knowing smile. He was exhausted—physically and mentally—but if Sheppard was up for more kissing, he'd be happy to oblige.

"Yeah, we probably should." John brushed his lips with one more light kiss, then wiggled until they were both in comfortable positions. The lights dropped down, probably due to a mental nudge from Sheppard. "Night, Rodney."

"Night," Rodney said a moment later, still tangled up in Sheppard's body and enjoying every place where they touched. He let his mind wander over the past few hours—the sex, the conversation, the sex…

A few minutes later, he spoke again, his voice quiet. "You'd really buy me a plug?"

John gave a half-snort, half-bark of laughter. "Yes, Rodney. I would. You could wear it all day, after I filled you up that morning, knowing my come was locked inside if you wanted to. Or I could just use it on you in here, let you wear it while I sucked you off. Oooo, you could wear it while you fucked me. That would be fun."

Rodney sat up a little, looking down at John. "Really? You'd do that?"

"Of course. I know you'd enjoy it, so why wouldn't I?"

"I…" Rodney shrugged. "I just never considered it until you said you'd get one. I didn't know if you were joking."

"Nope, I wasn't joking at all. The right toys can be a lot of fun, make fantastic sex even better. I did tell you I was a bit kinky..." John reached up for another caress along his jaw line.

Rodney settled back down with a sigh. "Huh."

"I bet you'd like beads too. Have you ever tried them?" John's voice took on an almost dreamy quality, the hand on Rodney's back moving in slow, soothing circles.

"No. Apart from a cock and fingers, nothing else has been up my ass. But I think I need to start searching the database. Tomorrow."

"Ooo, a toy virgin. God, now I wish I had thought to smuggle some stuff through the gate. There are so many things I could show you..."

He groaned, ending it with a light chuckle. "You _are_ going to break me."

"But you'll go out moaning and panting my name, begging for more." He felt a light kiss on the top of his head.

Rodney settled in, sighing in contentment. "It better not happen anytime soon," he whispered, feeling himself start to drift off to sleep as Sheppard's arms tightened around him.

***

When John woke up, he was slung half over Rodney, a leg hitched over his body, one arm around his waist. It was a good place to be.

He kept still, not wanting to wake his geek yet, and breathed in the scent he was rapidly becoming addicted to.

Okay, there was no 'becoming' about it. He was the guy standing on the street corner begging for spare change to feed the fix.

A slight tilt of his head, and he was able to see the clock across the room. 0425. It didn't really surprise him that he was up this early, given the time they had gone to bed. He had never really been able to sleep more than about six hours at a shot, seven if he was particularly tired. He usually used the early hours of the morning to go run—Atlantis had amazing sunrises. He idly wondered if he could ever convince Rodney to run with him.

Actually, he knew Rodney was very much not a morning person. It was early enough—he was willing to bet he could get a quick jog in and be back before his scientist even knew he was gone. With that thought in mind, he carefully untangled himself, slipping out of bed.

Rodney sniffed and rolled over, settling in again without waking.

Smiling down at him, John grabbed a pair of sweats he kept slung across a chair for this very purpose, pulling them and a clean pair of boxers on, along with a worn tee-shirt. Glancing around, he tried to find a piece of paper he could leave a note on, just in case he was wrong about Rodney not waking up. Not finding anything, he booted up the laptop, its screen casting a blue glow around the room.

He pulled up a new note, typing quickly.

_R-_

_Was up early and didn't want to wake you. Went for a jog. Be back soon._

_–J_

He set it on the desk, setting the screen saver not to turn on so Rodney would see it. Then he pulled on an old pair of sneakers and slipped out.

He loved running, the feel of the ground beneath him, the pull of his muscles, pushing his body until his lungs started to burn. It was one of the few times he could put every problem, every issue, everything, aside. He had a lot of doubts about commanding men, about the job he was doing. And now, about what he was doing with Rodney, how he was going to walk the line between being dominant in the bedroom, and not chasing the prickly physicist away. With a deep breath he let all that slide away for a while.

By the time he made it back to his room, he was soaked with sweat and feeling loose, the endorphins from exercise spinning around his brain. If Rodney wasn't awake yet, he thought maybe he'd get him up with a blowjob. That was always a nice way to wake up.

Slipping back inside, his eyes went to the bed, going slightly wide at what he found.

Rodney was gone. What the—?

The laptop was closed, a small tube sitting on top.

He grabbed it, glancing at the label long enough to see it was an antibiotic cream. This was the damn stuff he had gotten from Beckett.

Tossing it on the table, he opened up the laptop again to see if Rodney had left him a note—growling when he found nothing—and stalked back out the door, heading down the hall. He had been looking forward to morning sex, damn it.

Reaching Rodney's door, he chimed, but when he got no answer, asked Atlantis politely to open it for him. As always, she skipped over herself to make him happy, immediately overriding the lock. Having a pet city was just freaking cool.

He heard the shower running in the bathroom, and, shedding clothes as he went, he moved to stand in the doorway. Rodney's back was to him, water caressing down that beautiful body. He waited for him to turn around and notice him standing there.

But instead of turning around, Rodney pressed his forearms against the wall, leaning his head on his arms as the water pressure increased a little, the water pounding on his shoulders and upper back.

Damn it, how was he supposed to resist that? It was just cruel and evil. Shaking his head, John stepped into the shower next to Rodney, grabbing the washcloth since he needed to get cleaned up anyway. "Don't hog all the hot water."

Rodney's head snapped up and around so fast, he nearly lost his balance until John's hand steadied him. "What are you doing here?" he finally asked, confusion on his face, his eyes searching John's face.

"Showering." He held up the washcloth and quirked an eyebrow.

"But…" he trailed off, his eyes wide.

"Do you plan on disappearing every time I try to get in a run before we get up? Because if so, I'm going to have to stop doing you the courtesy of letting you sleep and wake your ass up to come with me." He ducked under the water to rinse the suds off his body and get his hair wet, exchanging washcloth for shampoo bottle as he did.

Rodney shrugged, standing to the side and watching with wide eyes. "You were gone and it felt weird staying there."

"And the note that said I'd just gone for a run and would be back soon didn't sway you. And what's with the stupid cream. I'm not sticking that in my ass, so just forget about it." Once the sweat and soap were rinsed away, he leaned in to capture Rodney's mouth for a kiss.

McKay returned it—not as enthusiastically as John would have liked—before moving a step back, ending up pressed against the wall. "Yes, the note said that, but I had no idea how long you were going to take and I have a ton of stuff to do so I figured I'd get myself together and head to the labs."

John followed him, pressing his body along Rodney's and moving to nibble his neck between words. "I like to run in the mornings, when it's quiet. It's...peaceful. No matter what happens the rest of the day, I always have that. I try to get in at least a short run every morning. Usually not more than a half-hour though, especially not when I have something to look forward to when I get back."

"Well, I didn't know that and you didn't run the day before either. How was I supposed to know what your schedule was? You could have been gone for an hour or have gotten sidetracked with something else," he said, his body tense, hands lightly gripping John's hips. "I'm not exactly one to wait when I have no specific details as to how long something might take."

"I got distracted yesterday. I wouldn't have gone today either if I had thought you'd wake up. It was early enough that I didn't think you would. I've always been an early riser, and I know you don't much like mornings, so I figured I'd let you sleep." He wasn't sure what Rodney was thinking, but he had a feeling he needed to make him understand.

Rodney's eyes dropped. "I didn't think you'd care."

"Well, I do. More than is probably good for me." His mind shied away from that thought. He wasn't quite ready for those kinds of admissions. Instead, he took Rodney's jaw and tipped his face so he was looking John in the eye. "I'm sorry you woke up to an empty room. That wasn't my intention."

"Oh."

He brushed a kiss across the closed lips. "I promise, if you ever wake up and I'm not there when you stay with me, it's because I went jogging, and I'll be back soon. I did leave a note."

"Yes. But…" He paused, confusion still on his face. "But why are you here?"

John cocked his head slightly, not releasing his hold on Rodney. He was fast discovering that the arrogant, egotistical man was just a front, a cover for someone who was a lot more insecure and unsure than he liked people to know. He didn't want to drive that man away—it was surprisingly endearing. "Because I wanted to be where you were."

Rodney tightened his grip on John's hips before sliding his arms around him, pulling him close as he sighed, a small smile hovering on his lips. "I’m not good at this."

"That's okay, neither am I. We can suck at it together."

"You're doing a whole lot better than I am."

"I have a few relationships and a lot of screamed advice from ex-girlfriends about everything I've ever done wrong to work with. But given your genius brain, I'm pretty sure it won't take you long to surpass me." He brushed his lips across Rodney's jaw.

"I'm not good with people stuff. Give me facts, figures, equipment, and theoretical physics and I'm fine—genius and all," he replied angling his head to catch John's lips with his, offering a tentative kiss.

"I know." John kept the kisses light, fleeting, pulling back before Rodney could deepen them, just letting them both enjoy the teasing.

McKay's hands settled on John's ass, cupping and holding it as he drew him closer, a spark of arousal growing as their cocks rubbed together.

The dark bruise on Rodney's shoulder caught John's attention, and he leaned in enough to kiss it, then suck it lightly before letting go. He was still blown away that Rodney had given him permission to keep it there, keep it fresh and dark. It was something he had wanted badly, wanted to just take, but never thought the physicist would be comfortable giving him.

Rodney squirmed a little, humming in what John was coming to recognize as contentment.

He worked his way back up, this time allowing the kiss to get deep and dirty and messy, leaving them both panting when they finally broke for air.

"Do we even have time for this?" McKay finally asked, leaning his head back against the wall, his eyes so dilated that there was only a small ring of blue surrounding the black.

"Not much, but yeah. Time for...maybe..." John grinned, then dropped to his knees, ignoring the protest they gave at the hard tile. Getting old sucked. He sent a quick mental command to the shower to shut off the water. There was no point in drowning while giving head. He was ridiculously pleased to see Rodney was visibly getting excited at the action.

"Oh, god. You don't have to do that." He yelped as John dove in before immediately beginning to moan, his hands tangling in Sheppard's hair, hanging on, not forcing or pushing.

Although he really wished he could draw it out, he knew they really didn't have much time, so he went for fast and dirty, using a few tricks with his tongue to bring Rodney to climax in an ego-boostingly short period of time.

McKay used his hold on John's hair to pull him upright and into a deep kiss, opening his mouth to let John tease, his hands holding Sheppard tightly in place.

John knew Rodney could taste himself in his mouth, and he had to smile at that. He got a hand down between them and started to stroke himself, using the almost-painful pressure and twist at the top he knew from long experience would bring him off fast as well.

One of Rodney's hands slid down between them, attaching tightly to a nipple, tugging, pinching, and teasing until John came, moaning into Rodney's mouth.

He let his head fall onto Rodney's shoulder, knees weak. He really had made a tactical error letting Rodney know about his nipple fetish—or at least that he liked his played with. He couldn't remember coming that hard from his own hand in a long time. "I feel like Superman when he finds out Lex Luthor discovered kryptonite."

"Get used to it."

"You're planning to discover my every weakness and use it to bring me to my knees?" He grinned into the warm skin he was nuzzling, still letting Rodney support most of his weight.

"If it helps to get you in the right position to suck me, yes." Rodney's tone was amused.

"I always knew Lex and Clark had a thing going. They were always making eyes at each other."

"You would over-think things like that, wouldn't you? And I'm a mess again."

"Like you didn't wonder. And you could just turn the water back on."

"I wasn't the one who turned it off."

Turning his head to look up, John felt Rodney's smile in the pit of his stomach. He waited for the old, familiar fear to rise up, a little surprised when the feeling continued to be a warm, comforting ball. "So now I'm in charge of running your shower, too?"

"You were the one who took control of it in the first place. I was here, minding my own business, when you barged in."

"Can I help it if Atlantis loves me?" He turned the water on with a flourish, getting the city to spurt it out in time to the Johnny Cash song he started humming under his breath.

"Show off," Rodney grumbled, shoving John away as he reached for the washcloth he'd been using before.

Leaning back against the wall, John continued to hum. After a minute, he really started getting into it—how cool was this?

"And if you're going to pick a song, find something actually worthwhile," McKay said, stepping out of the shower and drying off quickly, heading into his room with the towel around his waist after he'd quickly brushed his teeth.

"What's wrong with Johnny Cash?" He hummed a few more notes, then let the water turn off. That was something he could play with later when Rodney wasn't around to make fun of him.

"A waste of valuable recording time and media storage."

"It's the Man in Black! But it's all right Rodney, even with your deplorable taste in music, I still love you anyway." And then he froze, glad Rodney was around the corner and unable to see him as his brain caught up with his mouth.

"Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't know good music if it kicked you in the ass," Rodney replied absently, his voice muffled.

Grabbing a towel, John muttered what he hoped was an appropriate response. He had used the l-word, something he usually didn't even say in jest. That it had come out of his mouth at all surprised him. What surprised him more was that he had meant it. And wasn't that a fucking revelation.

Rodney popped into the bathroom a minute later, fully dressed, headset in place. His hands waved vaguely. "I'm heading out. Take your time."

"Oh. Alright. See you at the briefing then." John shook himself out of the daze he had fallen into, and managed to grab Rodney before he left the bathroom, pulling him into a searing kiss.

"Oh…um…" Rodney said when John let him go, a shy smile on his face.

John dove back in for another quick kiss before letting Rodney go. "Have fun keeping the morons from blowing up the city."

"Uh…yeah." His hand waved absently as he moved toward the door, glancing over his shoulder once before finally ducking out.

John gathered up his clothes in the main room, pulling on the sweaty clothes with distaste. He hated putting dirty clothes on after a shower. With another mental shake, he slipped out and headed back to his own room, mind already jumping ahead to the briefing and the rest of the things he needed to get done today.

***

Carson Beckett puttered around the infirmary, enjoying the morning hours and the quiet. No one had really needed their services recently, which gave him and his staff the opportunity to get caught up on various research projects and the dreaded inventory.

After the Genii invasion, they'd been able to get a rough count of what was missing, but after a few days of quiet, they'd finally gotten a much better idea. That, combined with some disastrous missions, they were beginning to run low on supplies. It was just about time to talk to Elizabeth about trading for some items and finding local equivalents.

He was still smiling about yesterday's conversation with Rodney. The bloody git needed to get a clue sometimes and if it took a kick in the arse to give it to him, Carson was happy to oblige. He was also glad to see that Rodney trusted him enough to talk to him.

When he heard the outer door open and glanced up, spotting a serious-looking Major headed his way, his heart dropped. Oh bloody hell.

When Sheppard got close enough, Carson put on a worried smile. "Major, what can I do for you this morning?"

"Um, hey, can we talk in your office for a second?" John fidgeted slightly, and looked uncomfortable.

"Aye, of course," he said, narrowing his eyes at the major as he turned to lead the way to his small office in the rear of the infirmary. Catching the eye of one of his nurses, he pointed toward the back. "I'll be in my office for a wee bit if you need anything."

She nodded, immediately going back to work with a smile. If Sheppard's expression was any indication something bad had happened.

Once they were inside with the door closed, Carson slid into his chair. "What did the bloody git do now?"

"What? Oh, nothing. Well, not exactly. I mean..." Seeing the usually composed and blithe major at a loss for words was somewhat entertaining if unsettling.

"Major…John," he said leaning forward. "I understand how…unsettling this can be to you, especially to discuss it with someone. Anything you say will be held in the strictest confidence."

"Um, thanks. I mean, I appreciate it. I know Rodney really trusts you, and I do, too, don't get me wrong, but while I don't think anyone would care out here, if we ever do re-establish contact with Earth I could be court-martialed so it's really better if it's kept quiet, which I hate to do to Rodney, he deserves a lot better than a secret relationship but—" Carson didn't think he stopped to breathe.

"John," he cut in, stopping the man's nervous chatter. "What happened and what can I do to help?"

He saw the tips of John's ears turn pink. "IjustwanttoknowthatI'mnotgoingtohurthimsincehepassedoutforliketwentyminutesafterwehadsex."

Carson looked at Sheppard hard for a minute, not quite sure he caught that. "John, you have to go slower. What happened?"

He turned a brighter shade of red, but did slow down. "Rodney passed out for about twenty minutes last night after, ah, you know, climaxing. I just want to know I'm not going to kill him."

"He what!"

"When he woke up he seemed fine, and said it was probably just his blood pressure crashing or something, and he had been pretty tense before that—when I got there he was yelling at Zelenka on the radio, something about Kavenaugh—and I had been trying to work out some of the knots on his back before we started doing anything, and he seems fine this morning, but he looked dead, I mean he was breathing and everything, but he was out cold, and—"

"Slow down," Carson said, leaning back again as his thoughts began to spin. "This happened just after he climaxed?"

"Um, yeah. That was after the backrub, and you know, I was still trying to get him to relax, but that was a little too relaxed..." John trailed off and after a moment seemed to give himself a mental shake. "Sorry, I'm not, ah, used to this sort of thing."

"No, no, it's fine. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to come to me. I just need to work out what might have caused it. While a short time of unconsciousness can happen, a long period of time might be an indicator of something else, some kind of medical problem. Did he mention anything about it happening before?"

"He didn't believe me at first. Said that kind of thing never happened to him. Carson, please tell me I'm not going to kill him."

"I don't think so. He wouldn't be here if there were real serious issues. What was his state of mind prior…well, before things began."

John blushed again. "He was agitated, you know how he gets sometimes. I got the feeling he had been yelling back and forth at Radek for a while. It was about twenty minutes from when I left him in the mess until I saw him again, so it wasn't time to work into a full-blown rant, but he was pretty irritated."

"Blood pressure higher than normal?"

"I, ah, didn't ask. But he was really tense. His shoulders and back were a solid knot. I managed to work those a little loose, but he wouldn't let me touch his thighs—said it hurt too much."

"You do know that he's on blood pressure meds, correct?"

Eyes getting wide, John shook his head. "Oh my, God, I'm going to kill him."

"No, you're not. He's slightly hypertensive, so he's taking a very mild dose of meds to keep it under control. He has the tendency to raise his blood pressure, though, as you well know. And he insists on drinking coffee by the gallon, which tends to raise it as well."

"I'm going to kill him. He's going to be pissed at someone, and when I try to calm him down I'm only going to make it worse, and then I'll have to explain to everyone why I have a naked astrophysicist dead in my room." John looked like he was a few seconds away from hyperventilating.

Carson closed his eyes for a moment before rising and moving to where John was standing, maneuvering him to the guest chair in his office and forcing him to sit in it. "There's a lot more involved. Actually, the more you can get him to relax, the better off he'll be in the long run."

"Carson..." John's voice broke slightly. "I was still...I hadn't pulled out...He just went limp and stopped responding..."

"Aye, that can be disconcerting, but you'd thought it was that he'd just climaxed, correct?"

"I...yeah. He...the first time, the other night...it was just for a few seconds then though. Not like this, not for twenty minutes! I was on the verge of calling you when he finally woke up."

"Like I said, there's a lot more involved. The circumstances may have played a larger role than you may have considered. How much have you talked to him about his…prior experience or the last time he was intimate with someone?"

"Not much. I...he's made some comments. I gather he's never been in a real relationship, just quick fucks. He'd never topped before last night—" John cut himself off, eyes going wide before put his head down into his hands. "I can't believe I just said that."

Carson chuckled. "Good. He needs to broaden his horizons. I don't need to check you for anything, do I?"

John muttered something into his hands.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"If something's wrong with ye and you're not tellin' me—"

"Can we just drop this line of discussion? We were talking about Rodney." The major was refusing to look up.

"Fine. But if you're hiding something from me you will not hear the end of it."

"This is why I prefer topping." He heard the quiet mutter, and what he could see of the back of John's neck was a remarkable shade of red again.

Carson chuckled again, patting the major on the shoulder. "Since ye are so reluctant to talk about such things, let's move back to the reason you're here. John, you have to realize that intimacy involves more than just the physical aspects—especially for someone like Rodney. Yes, part of the reason he passed out was physical, dealing specifically with the sudden widening or dilation of the blood vessels. But low blood pressure—or the significant change that resulted in what you describe—could also be partially be a reaction from very strong emotions."

"So I shouldn't try to seduce him right after he's been ranting at his staff or when he's been particularly irritated?" John let out a dry chuckle. "That pretty much limits me to early mornings."

"No. But take a look at his history. If what I can conclude from the little he's told me, he hasn't been intimate with anyone since sometime before his assignment to Antarctica and while he may be relieving some of his tension on his own, that's not the same as sexual intimacy." Carson paused. "And, in terms of how you can help: continue doing what you're doing. Regular intimacy should help to regulate his blood pressure so there shouldn't be as many high highs and low lows."

"Oh my, God, you did not just prescribe sex to help with a medical condition." John looked up enough for Carson to see the amused horror on his face.

"If you can keep Rodney as relaxed as he was when I talked to him yesterday, I certainly think that would be a good thing for everyone here," Carson said with a smile.

Dropping his head back into his hands, John moaned. "You know it's unnatural to have someone I'm not sleeping with know this much about my sex life, right?"

"Look, you were the one who walked in my door wantin' to talk. I'm just trying to work through what you told me."

"I know, I know, and I want to make sure I'm not going to hurt him. This is just not the most comfortable conversation I've ever had."

"Aye," Carson nodded, "and probably not the last uncomfortable conversation you will have if I know the two of you." He paused, sighing. "Honestly, what you told me does have me worried—but there are a number of reasons or circumstances that could bring that particular situation. I'd like to approach him and do a much more thorough check on him. Would you be comfortable with me doing that?"

John looked up again, and Carson realized just how much he normally hid behind a mask of laid-back indifference. He was both surprised and honored the major was choosing to let him see so much. He looked confused and more than a little startled "I...you're asking me for permission to look McKay over? I mean, I think of him as mine, but I know that would piss him off if he knew."

"You were the one that brought the problem to me. That's the only way I would have known about it because I doubt the git would tell me. He will know that it came from you." Carson paused, offering a smile. "On a personal note, I am glad to see that you're so taken with him. It'll do the both of you a world of good. And he'll come around. Give him time."

The blush was back. "I might have, sort of, maybe, freaked out a little on him when he woke up. That's why he...how we ended up...I needed... Fuck." John dropped his head back down. "I really suck at this, Carson. I've screwed up every relationship I've ever been in."

"It's been how long? Two days?"

"And I'm already scared shitless! I'm going to freak out, act like as ass, and drive him away. Or I’m going to forget to hold back, try to take what he’s not willing to give, and he’ll run. It's happened before."

"John. Breathe."

"How did this happen? When did he go from being my amusing and irritating teammate to this? No, nevermind, I don't think I want an answer. Just, yeah, look him over okay. Make sure I'm not going to permanently injure him or anything."

"Do you want to talk to him first?"

"Um? I don't know?"

Carson chuckled. It seemed John might need a little direction when it came to dealing with a partner—and Beckett wanted this to last more than a week. Both of them deserved better. Time for some more meddling. "John, did Rodney tell you anything yesterday that might have been considered too personal prior to this? And no, I'm not asking about those kind of things."

"I don't understand. What kinds of things?" John looked back up again, and Carson idly thought he was going to give himself one hell of a crick in his neck if he kept looking up and down like that.

"Anything that he might not have told you as a teammate because it was too personal."

"Carson, he had his dick up my ass last night, after I had mine up his more than once. I'd say we've gone beyond the definition of 'teammates.' I don't think it gets more personal than that."

Beckett blushed at that, but offered a smile. "Okay, lad. Let me come at this a different way. If Rodney came to me and discussed a concern about your health—whatever it was—but something only he would know, would you rather have me approach you and ask you about it or have him talk to you about his concerns and subsequent conversation with me?"

"Did he actually come here and enlist you to make me use that damn cream he keeps pushing off on me? No offense, but I don't need it, I'm just a little sore, and while I'm glad he got it from you for himself, I really wish people would stop trying to make me use it."

Sighing, Carson shook his head. John was dense today. "I'm glad he talked to you about that and shared that with you, but yer still missin' my point." He rubbed a hand over his face. Okay, track number three. "Now, I know this is new for both of you, but part of any relationship is trusting one another about lots of things. This trust doesn't come easily and it isn't given easily. It's something earned. Are you following me right now?"

"You're asking if we trust each other? Yeah, I mean, I know I do, with my life. He wouldn't be on my team otherwise, and I sure as hell wouldn't have risked my career if I didn't think I could trust him to keep it secret."

"Nae, I'm not asking that. I'm asking about the trust between two people who love each other, or think they love each other. Do you understand that kind of trust? I'm not asking if you have it or not, just if you understand it."

John's eyes widened. "L...love? I...Carson..." He shook his head slightly. "I told you, I'm not...I don't have a great track record with relationships. I...don't know if I would recognize that kind of trust if I saw it."

"But you understand the concept of it."

"I...guess so. I think..."

"Lord have mercy," he muttered to himself. "Okay. Forget about Rodney right now. How would you feel if someone you trusted revealed something very personal about you? Something you find embarrassing."

He saw understanding dawn. "I'd probably be pretty pissed off."

"What would you think about that person?"

"That they were an asshole. Carson, where are you going with this?"

"Bear with me. You'll see in a moment. Now, would you trust that person?"

"Of course not, not if they just told all and sundry my personal information."

"How would you think Rodney would feel if I went up to him and asked him about how he passed out after he climaxed?"

Suddenly John's eyes went wide with understanding. "Oh."

"Now, ye get it."

"I need to talk to him."

"Aye, you do. And make it as non-threatening as you can. Express your concerns. Explain that you spoke to me and that I'd like to run tests to make sure there are no problems. Be honest."

"I...Yeah, all right, I can...I can try. He's going to be pissed at me for coming here, isn't he?"

"I don't know, honestly. He's spoken to me about some things, but you were concerned about his health—and rightly so. You had good motives. You're trying to make sure you don't hurt him, or do anything that can hurt him. That has to count for something."

With a sigh, John stood. "We have a briefing in another two hours, then a mission tomorrow, so I'd better go do it now. Otherwise either I'll lose track of time or lose my nerve."

"Aye. But one piece of advice for next time…come together to talk about it, or let him know ahead of time that you'd like to discuss it with me. We're not talking about a member of your team at this point. We're talking about your lover. Do you understand the difference?"

Looking sheepish, John nodded. "Yeah, I think I see where you getting at. I guess when I came here I was hoping you'd tell me I was being stupid and there was nothing to worry about."

"John, anytime someone loses consciousness it's never something stupid. Remember that."

The soldier blushed again. "Right. Um, thanks. Sorry you're getting it from both of us, I guess."

"It's fine," Carson said, patting his arm as he moved back to the chair behind his desk. "I may have helped prod you both together so it's fitting that I help you along now."

"Thank you." It was almost whispered, but when Carson turned back around, John was gone.

One day, years from now, they'd laugh about this. But right now, everything was too new, too uncertain. This would be good for both of them, learning to trust, learning to love, to live.

If they didn't kill each other first, that is.

***

Doctor Elizabeth Weir sometimes felt like a kindergarten teacher, rather than the leader of an international expedition to explore another galaxy.

Case in point: her chief science officer looked about ready to murder a member of his own staff in the briefing room. Her chief military officer was amused by it and would probably cheer him on, if the slight smirk he had been wearing since this meeting began were any indication.

“Doctor Gall,” she cut in on the man speaking. “I agree this is an interesting outpost, and I’ve agreed to the mission. However, I don’t believe sending a large contingent to bring it online is a wise move. Not until we’ve investigated the site and determined its safety and viability. Until then, I’d like you and Doctor Abrams, along with Doctor McKay and Major Sheppard, to simply go out and explore the site. Once you’ve returned we can determine the rest.”

"That's so short-sighted—" Gall began, only to be cut off by McKay.

"She said 'yes', you idiot," he hissed, leaning forward. "And, so help me, if I hear that this was your awesome discovery one more time—"

"Rodney." Elizabeth pinched the bridge of her nose. "Brendan, I agree this site has great potential, but we don't even know if it's still operational. I'm not sending a team of 'jumpers out there until we know a little more."

"And besides," Rodney said, ignoring her disapproving gaze, "it could be dead for all we know. The Atlantis database, while bigger and better than we could have imagined, is not exactly up-to-date. Look. We'll go out there and investigate. It'll get you and Abrams out of the labs for a while. You've been complaining you never do any fieldwork. Here's your chance."

"All right, gentleman," Elizabeth cut in before yet another argument could start between the men. She didn't envy John being trapped with them for a fifteen hour flight there and back. "You have a go for an exploratory mission. You leave at 0700 tomorrow morning."

"And just for the record," Rodney said as he rose to his feet, "who's in charge of this mission?"

She let her smile turn almost sugary sweet. "Major Sheppard. This is an off-world mission, Rodney, you know the rules."

"But it's a science mission!"

She heard John’s muttered “Great...” in the background.

“I know, but this is also a first contact situation. Once the satellite has checked out, and if we agree to send another team out there, I’ll put someone from your department in charge. For now, let the Major do his job, which is to protect you in unknown situations.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. "But of the science personnel? Who's in charge there?"

"Other than the Major, the whole team will be science personnel this time..."

“Don’t worry, Rodney. You’re my second-in-command for this mission. Not only am I used to working with you, but you also have the most field experience of the three of you. If anything happens to me, you’ll be the one who needs to get Gall and Abrams to safety.” John was sitting in his habitual slouch, although Elizabeth thought she could sense tension in his frame that wasn’t usually there. She made a mental note to pull him aside and find out what was wrong if it didn’t seem to clear up on its own soon.

"Elizabeth?" Rodney turned to her, waiting for her reply. Gall and Abrams were quiet, but very attentive.

She looked closely at John, catching his almost imperceptible nod. He wasn't just saying that to tease Rodney. Well, at least not completely. "I'll defer to the major's decision on that, as I happen to agree. This should be an easy mission for you four, but it never hurts to be cautious. Now, is there anything else?"

"No," Rodney replied, shooting a hard gaze across the room to Gall. Apparently something had been said prior to the meeting.

Rolling her eyes, she shot a sympathetic glance at John, who had also caught the silent scientist exchange and was wincing slightly. She rose to her feet, gathering her papers. "All right then, have a nice day, gentlemen."

Muttered comments were her reply as Rodney headed for the door, John at his heels. Gall and Abrams were already gone.

She shook her head. Just like kindergartners.

***

Rodney strode down the hall, tablet PC under his arm, cursing moronic scientists. It seemed like nothing was going right today—actually starting from last night. Sheppard's little freak out had unsettled him more than he realized. He'd spent most of the morning thinking about it and trying to get up the nerve to talk to Carson. But how did you broach the subject with your doctor of passing out for twenty minutes after a completely fantastic orgasm?

And then there was Sheppard. John. He'd been understanding. More than Rodney thought possible and that was strange. No one ever worried about what he'd thought in situations like that. It was more of a wham, bam, and out the door kinda thing.

But more than anything, Rodney'd scared himself.

There was just something about John that made him want to try something new, something risky. He was never like that, so carefree.

But then this morning when Sheppard was gone, he'd panicked a little and he'd run. He knew that.

But then, John had tracked him down. He'd said he was upset he'd come back to and empty room and it seemed like he'd meant it. What was it about this flyboy that unsettled him, made him so uncertain?

"Rodney! Hey, wait up." John jogged up next to him. "Hey, um, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Pushing his thoughts to the side, he glanced up, raising an eyebrow. "Sure, Major. What's on your mind? I need to get back to the labs."

John looked around, his eyes unsettled. "Um, mind if we go someplace less public?"

"Ah…sure." His stomach fluttered, but gestured for Sheppard to lead the way. This was it. It had to be. This is where Sheppard let him down gently and they went on their separate ways. It had been too good to be true. "You had some place in mind, I take it?"

"Yeah, here." a side door opened, revealing a small office. "I don't use it much, but at least it has a door that shuts.

"This isn't your office. I've been there." Rodney glanced around, not impressed by the space. Apart from the desk and chair—and an old cup of coffee—there were several boxes and crates. "What is this place?"

"This is my other office. I have a few I move between, depending on who I'm trying to avoid. But that's not why I brought you here. I, ah, may have done something stupid, and you may be pissed off at me. And I'd like to say in advance that I'm really sorry if you are."

"What the—" He broke off, pining Sheppard with his eyes. "What did you do?"

"Um, I sorta went to Carson this morning after I saw you. I was...well...I was kinda afraid I was going to kill you by having sex with you and I wanted to make sure I wasn't, and—"

"You did what?" That was not what he was expecting.

"I didn't really mean to tell him everything, but you were out for twenty minutes! I really like fucking you, but I didn't want to again if it was going to kill you. Carson actually said it sounded like your blood pressure or something, but he wants to check you out." John's eyes took on a pleading cast to them. "He even said that while briefly passing out after climaxing is normal, passing out for that long could be dangerous, so he wants to check you out, just to be sure there's nothing else wrong with you. I'm really sorry."

John looked so worried, with his eyes wide the way they were. "You talked to Carson about us having sex?"

"Um, yeah." He watched a flush work its way up John's neck. "And let me tell you, that was not a comfortable conversation. But I really was worried I had broken you."

"I—" Rodney broke off, turning around, a myriad of emotions going through him.

He heard John shift behind him. "You're pissed at me, aren't you? I don't blame you, I mean, hell, I'd probably be pissed if...well, okay actually I don't know if I'd be pissed if you...okay I probably wouldn't. But I understand if you are, and I'll totally find a way to make it up to you."

"I…yes, I'm pissed," Rodney admitted as he turned, catching sight of Sheppard's sheepish expression. "But, you went to Carson to talk about our sex life because you were worried you were going to hurt me?"

"Yes." John dropped his eyes.

"Even after last night."

"I didn't top again last night."

"I don't have a problem with you…topping, whatever you call it," Rodney waved his hand absently. "I…you still want to try for this whole thing even after last night's abysmal end?"

"Wait, what abysmal end? The only bad thing about last night was me putting you into a coma for twenty minutes. Once you woke up, everything was amazing. You were amazing. I just..." John finally moved, coming closer and dropping his voice. "I want to fuck you, hard and fast and all the time, but when you passed out like that I got scared, okay. Go to Carson and let him check your blood pressure or whatever and make sure everything's cool."

After that whole thing with him never fucking someone, he thought Sheppard would not want to deal with him again. No one wanted an inexperienced lover—as he was proving to be. Sheppard had to be kidding. "You…you do?"

"God, yes. And I," John flushed again, "I'd like to let you top again too sometime. I forgot how good that can be."

"But, I couldn't even do it right," he hissed, feeling his cheeks redden in embarrassment.

"What do you mean? It was great...wasn't it? I mean…you enjoyed it too, didn't you?"

"It was…amazing, but you had to just be humoring me. No one would—"

John cut him off with a kiss, although he pulled back quickly. "Rodney, I don't have orgasms to humor anyone. It was amazing. You were amazing. And that I was your first was just...well amazing."

"You're repeating yourself," Rodney said, feeling the corner of his lips rise in a smile, the worry in his stomach being replaced by something a little lower and a lot more primal. But, there was one other thing he needed to figure out first. "And you talked to Carson! About my orgasm!"

John looked sheepish again. "I really don't want to hurt you, but yeah, I wasn't thinking. He said if I ever feel the need to talk about something like this again, I should bring you with me. And you are going to go let him give you a quick physical, right? Just to be sure?"

"Of course I am!" He said, giving Sheppard the 'are you an idiot' look. "I have no intention of dying anytime soon."

"Oh, thank god." John said it under his breath, so Rodney wasn't sure he was supposed to have heard it. Louder, he grinned, "So you're not pissed at me anymore?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I didn't say that."

"Crap. Can't blame a guy for trying, right? So what do you want? Abject slavery? Chocolate? Blowjob?"

"I think you need to make it up to me," Rodney said with a smile as he set his laptop on the desk. He held up his hand, gesturing for Sheppard to wait a minute before tapping his headset. "McKay to Weir."

John’s eyebrows went up, but he leaned back against the desk, taking up a position Rodney knew John knew was hot as hell.

“This is Weir. What do you need Rodney? Is anything wrong?”

"Actually, Sheppard and I are going over the notes for tomorrow's mission and I need to get my pre-mission check as well. I know we're supposed to have a meeting in an hour, but this might take longer than I originally thought. Can we meet in three hours instead?"

"Of course. I'll see you then. Weir out."

Rodney smirked as he signed off, taking his headset off his ear and shutting it off before putting it in his jacket pocket. He shrugged it off a moment later, draping it over a pile of boxes in the corner.

"Um, Rodney? You are aware that we are in the very tiny confines of Office Number Four, which just so happens to be only a few halls away from the Control Room, right?"

"And I do have to see Carson before I have my meeting. So, what's your point?"

"You're stripping." John was watching his every move, eyes starting to dilate.

"I am?" Rodney smirked, putting his hands on his hips.

"That's what it means when you take off your clothing. In my office."

"So you want me to? Right now?"

"What?" John's eyes were fixed on Rodney's now-visible nipples—which were standing at attention under his shirt.

"I'll take that as an affirmative," Rodney said smugly, brushing by Sheppard so he could lean on the desk as he untied his boots, pulling them off one-by-one, the socks following. He moved past the major again, putting his shoes next to the boxes where his jacket was lying.

Turning his back to John, he unzipped the half-zip of his shirt and tugged it off, folding it neatly. He unbuttoned his uniform pants, sliding them down his legs and folding them, placing them on top of his shirt. The boxers were last, joining the rest on the pile.

Rodney turned to John who had stayed where he was, leaning against the desk. Putting his hands on his hips, Rodney's lips twisted up in a wicked grin. "So, you had something in mind I take it?"

"You're naked. In my office." John's eyes were wide and blown out, and Rodney could see a tell-tale bulge in the front of his pants.

"I’m glad to see that you powers of observation are indeed in working order. And yes. I am naked in one of your many offices, apparently."

"I think this just became my favorite. God, this is hot." John continued to stare.

"If you're done, I can get dressed again," Rodney said, glancing over his shoulder, his thumb pointing to the clothes pile.

With a low growl, John finally moved, yanking his own headset out of his ear and tossing it on the desk before grabbing Rodney and pushing him back against the wall, mouth diving in for a deep kiss.

Rodney moaned into the kiss, his arms sliding around John, moving between the jacket and shirt. The feeling of the rough cloth of John's BDUs against his skin was amazing and very erotic.

When they had to break for air, John didn't stop, moving to kiss his way along Rodney's jaw and down his neck. "Oh God, so hot, you are so fucking hot you kinky bastard..."

McKay chuckled. "You were the one who wanted me naked in your office. I think you have that wrong."

John just groaned and continued kissing his way down until he reached a nipple, sucking it in gently before biting down hard, then sucking again, soothing with his tongue.

Rodney groaned, pressing forward, trying to get more contact.

John let go and worked his way down lower, sliding to his knees. He pushed that long tongue into Rodney's belly button, picking up a slow rhythm, in and out.

"John…" Rodney groaned, his fingers in Sheppard's hair, rubbing his scalp.

He felt his lover jerk slightly, then he was encased in wet heat, and John was taking him deep, humming softly to add subtle vibrations all around his cock.

"Oh—" he said, cutting off his exclamation when he realized how loud it was. He felt his eyes widen as he glanced to the door and then down at Sheppard who had paused.

Pulling off, John looked at him for a moment. He stood up, ignoring Rodney's wordless protest, and pulled a white handkerchief from a pocket in his jacket, stuffing it in Rodney's mouth. He then dropped back down, picking up where he had left off.

McKay's head thumped back against the wall as he moaned, the sound muffled by the cloth, his hands still in John's hair.

One of John's hands landed on his hip, holding him still, while the other worked its way back. He felt a finger tease at his entrance, working its way all around the area but not pushing in.

Rodney groaned, trying to grind back to get Sheppard's finger in him, but there was nowhere for him to go. Trapped between the wall and John's mouth, Rodney could only stand there and take what Sheppard was giving him.

Finally Finally!

The tip of the finger pressed in. It was a little damp, so the few brain cells still firing suggested John had, at some point, pulled it away long enough to stick it in his mouth. John pulled out almost immediately, letting the very tip return a moment later to tease again, even as the suction on his dick started to increase.

Rodney wanted to squirm, to move, to get the finger in him, to get it deeper, but he couldn't. He whimpered and moaned, the cloth muffling everything as his hands tightened in Sheppard's hair.

In response, John moved up to the head of his cock, sucking on it like it was some sort of kinky lollipop. He felt that wicked tongue dive into the little slit at the top, lapping up the leaking pre-come, the finger teasing his ass suddenly pushed deeper.

The trembling was beginning, but he wasn't there yet. But he was so close. He howled in frustration, the subdued complaint ending in a sob. He needed to come so badly.

The hand at his hip moved down, grabbing the base of his cock and started to move, hard and fast, as John kept up the suction on just the head, his finger moving slowly in and out.

John's finger brushed his prostate and that was all that it took to send him over the edge. He shuddered, pouring down Sheppard's throat, his knees giving way as the aftershocks rolled through his body.

John nursed him through it, pulling his finger out and gradually slowing his hand and easing the suction. Finally, he pulled off, resting his head against Rodney's stomach as he panted. "Oh god, can't come can't come can't come."

Limp against the wall, Rodney caressed John's face, the only thing he had energy to do at this point.

He felt a shudder. "Please...don't...if you touch me I'm going to come, and I'm still wearing my BDUs..."

Rodney moved his hand, his fingers drifting to the other man's mouth, rubbing his lips with the tip of a finger before pushing gently between them.

John made a keening noise, sucking gently on the invading finger, trembling. Rodney could feel the tension in the body pressed to his as his lover fought for control.

But instead of helping, he pulled his finger out before pushing back in, starting a slow rhythm, hinting at what he wanted.

Sheppard was whining with each panted breath, letting Rodney finger-fuck his mouth. He saw him press the heel of his hand against his groin, and knew John was barely hanging on.

He added another finger.

The whine was getting more desperate and John started to pull away, hand still pressed to his groin.

Rodney moaned and tightened the hand that was still tangled in John's hair, continuing the deliberate movement of his fingers.

With a long, high-pitched moan, he felt John shudder against him, the front of his pants turning dark and wet before he slumped against Rodney's body, returning to whimpers as the fingers continued to move in and out.

McKay slowed down the movement as John trembled from the aftershocks of his orgasm. Rodney leaned his head back against the wall, finally stopping, but leaving his fingers in John's mouth and loosening his hold on his hair, waiting to see what he'd do next.

John just lay against him, head resting on his stomach for a long while. He finally stirred, moving a hand up to Rodney's wrist and pulling it away from his mouth, turning it over to kiss the palm before he let it go. "You made me come in my pants."

Rodney hummed in agreement, looking down at him.

"Evil fucker." John moved to look up at him, eyes shining with affection.

He caressed John's face again, his fingers still damp, drawing them along his jaw-line.

He got another shudder for it, John's eyelids fluttering shut for a moment as he leaned into Rodney's hand.

McKay hummed in contentment, continuing to stroke John's face.

They stayed that way for a few more minutes, before John finally shifted, lips turning in a grimace as he pushed himself up. "My pants are wet and sticky." He ran a hand over Rodney's jaw, returning the earlier caresses. He touched the gag with one finger. "Ready for me to take this out?"

Rodney shrugged, widening his eyes, trying to let John know that whatever he wanted at this point was okay with him. Come on, he'd just sucked him off in a small office around the corner from the control room and Rodney had made him come in his pants. Sheppard could do whatever he wanted.

With a smile, John pulled his hand away, leaving the gag in place. He moved over to Rodney's clothes, picking them up and bringing them over to where Rodney was still leaning on the wall, pulling each piece back into place, one garment at a time, until he was fully dressed again.

Rodney waited, tilting his head to the side as he watched the other man.

John cast around, and finally sighed, picking up the solitary cup that was on the desk, that had old coffee in it. "The things I do for you," he said mournfully, before pouring the whole cup down his shirt and pants, neatly camouflaging the damp spot between his legs.

Shaking his head in amusement, Rodney rolled his eyes.

With a pained look, Sheppard pulled at his now-soaked t-shirt. "Ug. I am so going for a shower now." He walked back over to Rodney, once more running a finger over the gag. "I'm going to take this out now."

Rodney held Sheppard's eyes evenly, not making an indication in either direction. Right now, this was for John.

Sheppard pulled it out slowly, eyes locked on Rodney's. "I'm adding comfortable, professional gag to the list of toys I'm buying you."

"If you plan on doing this kind of thing in a semi-public location, that might be a good thing," Rodney said quietly, leaning forward just enough to kiss Sheppard without leaning into the mess on his shirt.

"If you plan on stripping for me in semi-public places, you either need to start keeping lube in your pocket, or just keep yourself slicked up for me." John changed the angle a bit, kissing the corners of Rodney's mouth.

"We might need more lube at this rate."

"Add it to the list."

"I should get going," Rodney said, lifting an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I suddenly find myself in desperate need of a shower." John leaned in for another kiss, careful not to let his sticky body touch Rodney's. "Tell Carson I'll be back in for my pre-mission this afternoon? I'm going to run by after sparring with Teyla. Might as well save up and just make one trip."

"I can do that," Rodney said, as he headed for the door, pulling out his headset and grabbing his laptop from the desk. "Oh. And as for you coming in your pants…that was for talking to Carson about me without me."

John gave him a wry grin as he fished for his own headset. "Duly noted."

"Dinner?"

"What time?"

"How about 2000? Should be quiet." He had a bunch of stuff to do and would end up grabbing a late lunch.

"I'll see you there. I'm glad you thought of this, since we can't have sex tonight. Nights before missions are going to the top of my 'Things That Suck' list. I think they might even top the Wraith."

"Well, you both certainly know how to suck. I like your technique better, though." Rodney smirked, his mind already gearing up again.

"Oh, har de har har. Your wit slays me."

"I say it like I see it—or feel it in this case," Rodney shrugged. "And you might want to clean up before you go anywhere else."

"Gee, thanks." John looked down at himself again and shook his head. "I'm going in that direction now. See you tonight, and try not to make too many scientists cry."

Rodney turned, an innocent expression on his face. "Where's the fun in that? Besides I'm going to be gone for at least thirty hours, if not longer. Oh, and make sure you bring good MREs tomorrow."

"I'll tell Staff Sergeant Miller to put the beef stroganoff in, just for you."

"Good." He nodded, opening the door and peering out. "See you at dinner," he said, walking into the hall and leaving Sheppard behind. It was hard to keep the smirk off his face though. I mean, come on. How many people actually got a major to come in his pants just using two fingers in his mouth? That had to count for something.

***

John let the words of the arguing scientists wash over him. Rodney and Doctor Gall hadn't stopped baiting each other for the entire trip so far, and he wasn't holding out much hope that they would suddenly kiss and make up.

Besides, if Gall tried to kiss his geek, he'd have to kill him, and how would he explain something like that to Elizabeth?

Since this was basically just flying in a straight line, John let his mind drift. Rodney had told him—with his usual scorn for the medical profession—that the medication they had him on was pushing his pressure too low, despite being the lowest dose they had. Carson's theory, apparently, was that something in the food here was helping bring it down enough to be within a safe range, so he had taken Rodney off the drugs completely. So apparently, the whole fainting thing was a combination of all the factors Carson mentioned and the blood pressure meds.

And they couldn't even celebrate because of the mission.

He had reluctantly agreed that Rodney should sleep in his own room too, since the odds were good that despite their intentions, they wouldn't be able to keep their hands off each other. They were like teenagers in that regard.

It was fun, though.

He was jolted out of his reverie by Rodney dropping back down into the co-pilot seat. A quick glance showed Gall and Abrams had retreated as far into the back hold as they could get. "Did you finally draw blood?"

"I only wish. Then I'd have to hear him whining about it the rest of the way," he grumbled.

John shifted and his leg twanged, the beginnings of a cramp forming—he had kept it in the same position for a long time. "Hey, you interested in a flying lesson? I need to get up and move around for a bit."

"Really?" Rodney's eyes got wide, white around the blue.

"Yeah. You need the practice, and this is a good time for it, lots of empty space, just go in a straight line." With a grin, John switched places with him, nearly groaning at the chance to stretch out his legs.

"Of course I need the practice," he said, dropping into the pilot's seat with a nervous energy. "You never let me drive."

"Most of the time we're running away from something, so not the best time to be giving lessons."

Rodney huffed, wiggling around a little, a wince of discomfort flashing across his face as he gripped the controls, the HUD popping up at his mental request.

John stood behind him, leaning slightly on the chair. "Now, there," the HUD zoomed out to show a large picture, two dots blinking. He pointed to the red one, "that's where we're going. This one," he pointed to a small white one, "is us. Just concentrate on flying us from point A to point B. Ease up on the controls, just relax."

"I'm fine. I'm relaxed," Rodney said his eyes flickering between the screen and his hands as he concentrated. His shoulders and body, however, told the real truth of the matter.

With a quiet snort, John glanced back to see the other two were still whispering among themselves—no doubt cursing Rodney's name—and weren't paying any attention. He pushed a thumb into each of Rodney's shoulder blades and pushed. "You need to relax. That's one of the first things we were taught in school—if you tense up while flying, you'll start to make mistakes. And that's doubly so here since the jumpers read mental commands as well as physical ones."

"Sheppard!" he said, the word a strangled warning as he glanced over his shoulder up at John.

"My flight instructor spent the first year of my training doing this to me in the simulations until I had the muscle memory to release the tension as soon as I hit the cockpit." He raised an eyebrow. "Now turn back around and pay attention to where you're going."

"I am paying attention," Rodney hissed, but turned around again. "I am a genius. I know how to multitask."

John started to rub in the circles he remembered from training, keeping pressure on the shoulder blades. Sergeant Hollister had taken an interest in him from the start, singling him out to answer the hard questions, and pushing him harder than the others. But he had also taken the time to do things like use the sort-of back rub to teach not only him, but all the other young wannabes, how to hold themselves and position their bodies. He was one of the few officers John had ever respected. "When you're flying, you can't multitask. All your focus needs to be on the plane around you and where you want it to go."

"I'm going straight. Point A to point B. I know where I’m going." Rodney was starting to relax a little, but still had a death grip on the controls.

"Just relax. Flying is like a zen thing, you can't tense up or be afraid, you just have to go with it."

Rodney snorted. "Zen? Are you kidding me? That's just a load of nonsense."

Doctor Gall's whine interrupted whatever response he was going to give McKay. "Major? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"The more people with the ATA gene who can fly the jumpers, the better off we'll all be Doctor. This is the perfect opportunity for McKay to get some practice in." With a last pat on the shoulder, John moved away from Rodney, keeping one eye on him, but otherwise letting him take full control. He paced a little, getting the blood moving again.

Abrams and Gall had moved back into the front part of the jumper, sitting uneasily in the two rear seats. "But we're on a mission. Shouldn’t this be done in safe conditions?"

"We're on our way to a mission, in the middle of empty space. What could he possibly hit?" Since there was no one in the back now, John walked there himself, running through a series of stretches to loosen every muscle in his body.

"We're in another galaxy, Major," Gall said, turning his seat so he could watch Sheppard. "We didn't expect life-sucking aliens either, but we have them."

"I'm well aware of that, Doctor. But right now, we're in empty space several hours at the very least away from any Stargates, and the long-range scanners showed no Hive ships anywhere near our section of the galaxy—or close enough to reach us in the time we'll be gone. McKay needs the practice, and this is a good time for him to get it in, when we have the time, and there's nothing big or scary trying to shoot us out of the sky."

Gall scowled, but turned back to look out the front of the jumper, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping at his forehead. Abrams was quietly watching the proceedings, his face carefully neutral.

Rolling his eyes behind them, John finished his stretching and moved back to the front, dropping down into the co-pilot's seat. He glanced over at Rodney, who was still looking tense. "How you doing?"

"Fine. Everything's fine," Rodney replied through slightly gritted teeth.

"Relax." He was starting to feel like a broken record.

"That's hard enough to do without you telling me the same thing every fifteen seconds. And Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum in the back there aren't exactly conducive to a 'Zen-like' state." John could hear the quotation marks around the phrase even without Rodney lifting his hands from the controls.

"Part of being a pilot is learning to tune out all the irritating shit and just focus on flying. You're doing fine. You're just a little tense." He leaned back, closing his eyes. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up if we get attacked."

"A nap! Oh…okay," Rodney said before the jumper fell into silence. Apparently Rodney and the other scientists had decided that not talking was a better option than yelling at each other.

Grinning to himself, John let his body relax, not really sleeping, but falling into a restful state of relaxation. He knew none of the three geeks had been taught how to rest without sleeping, so they wouldn't know the difference, and it would be good for Rodney's confidence.

He napped like that for a while—nearly an hour—before he heard Gall start up again.

"Are you sure you're going the right way?"

"Yes. I'm sure I'm going in the correct direction," Rodney said, his voice tight, quiet, obviously trying some measure of control.

"Shouldn't we have been there already?"

"If we should have been there already, we wouldn't be having this conversation now would we?"

With an internal sigh, John roused himself, sitting up. "How're we doing?"

"Fine."

A glanced over to see Rodney had his controls in a death grip again. "Ease up on the controls a little."

"I'm fine," Rodney answered quickly.

"You're gonna snap the damn things off. Ease up!" John had to admit he had a great deal of affection for this jumper, despite the fact that intellectually he knew they were all the same. This one was 'his'.

Rodney glanced over briefly, a forced nonchalance in his posture. "I'm just seeing what this baby can do."

John heard the snickering in Abrams voice when he jumped into the conversation. "Did you just say 'this baby'?!"

Rodney's chin rose, but this time he kept his eyes front and center, a flash of uncertainly flashing across his face. "That's perfectly appropriate space pilot parlance."

Torn between groaning and laughing at the exchange—geeks!—John settled for shaking his head. "Try to fly the 'baby' in a straight line."

"I am flying in a straight line."

John flicked the HUD on, eyebrows going up at the course Rodney had flown versus the straight path he had originally plotted. He once again had to fight back the urge to laugh. "Not so much."

For all his bluster, McKay didn't like doing things badly. He really wanted to get things right. Teasing him about stuff, though, was far too much fun.

McKay shrugged, a sheepish expression on his face as he stared at the HUD display. "Well…in space all motion is relative."

A groan answered Rodney's comment.

John finally pulled his attention away from McKay and looked back, noting how green Gall was looking. "Are you okay, Doctor Gall?"

"I…" he began, pausing to take a breath. "I get…uh…motion sickness."

One eyebrow going up again, John let some of his incredulity come out in his voice. "These things have inertial dampeners. You shouldn't feel a thing."

"Well, I…I, I know we're moving. That's enough for me."

Turning back around, John shook his head and leaned in to Rodney, dropping his voice. "Why'd you choose this guy for the mission?"

Rodney shot him a "you were there you idiot" look before leaning over. "Brendan's the one who discovered the LaGrange Point satellite was out here. Elizabeth felt he should, uh, see it for himself."

John started to respond, the noticed Rodney was paying no attention whatsoever to where they were going. His heart suddenly picked up the pace. "Don't let go of the controls!"

Rodney scowled, but grabbed the controls immediately, his tone annoyed. "Snapping doesn't help."

Sinking back into his chair, John tried to regain his calm, cool, collected pose. "This is why parents get someone else to teach their kids how to drive."

Rodney shot him an odd look, one John couldn't quite identify. "I am both insulted and touched by that."

John started to respond, only to be cut off by Gall from the back. "Oh my, God!"

Turning to see the man was staring straight ahead, John looked out the windshield to see the huge satellite looming into view. He half-stood, eyes never leaving it. "McKay…"

"Yes, yes, of course, please," he said, immediately rising from the pilot's seat, keeping his hands on the controls until John could slide in. McKay moved to the co-pilot's seat, dropping into it, his eyes on the satellite as John changed their heading, bring them closer to it.

John retook control, sliding back into the mental seat as well as the physical, feeling it slot into place. He slowed their progress, bringing them to a stop. "Holding station at one thousand meters."

McKay's voice was amazed. "Almost half a mile away and it's filling the windshield.  This thing is enormous."

Gall piped up from the back, his motion sickness seemingly forgotten. "It's as large as a Goa'uld mothership. This might be the single largest weapons platform ever constructed."

"Probably the Ancients' last line of defense before Atlantis."

John brightened at that. That was a huge honkin' Space Gun. "Any chance it's still operational?  Because that would be a very good thing."

Both Gall and Abrams turned to their respective displays, working steadily for a minute before Abrams spoke up, directing his question to the other scientist. "You getting any energy readings?"

Gall shook his head. "Negative."

John slumped a bit. Damn. It would have been a huge relief to have something like this between them and any approaching enemies. "So it's dead."

Gall shrugged as Abrams turned back to his station. "Well, it warrants closer scrutiny but…yeah."

"Knocked out during the Ancients' last stand?

"Or its power source is depleted," McKay replied, eyes still fixed on the satellite. "Ten thousand years is a long time. We could still take a closer look."

"Wait, wait," Abrams cut in, turning around again. "I'm getting something in the ultra-low frequency range." Flicking a button, the jumper was filled with a repeating pulse, the sound the scientist had found.

Listening for a moment, John cocked his head. "Where's it coming from?" He brought up the HUD again, and it zoomed in, pinpointing the location of the signal.

"The planet." Abrams voice held a note of fear.

Rodney turned, his eyes showing his immediate understanding of what they were hearing. "A distress call. A Wraith distress call."

It took a while before the scientists were able to make heads or tails of the readings they were getting from the planet and get an okay from Elizabeth to take a closer look—but soon enough they were winging their way to the surface.

John should have known better.

A ten-thousand-plus Super-Wraith had already killed Abrams and sucked decades out of Gall. Rodney was starting to get his usual "we are so screwed" expression and any rescue party was at least fifteen hours away—if they left now.

Which left John with no choice but to try and slow down the Wraith, make sure it didn't call any of its friends, and pray it didn't decide it needed a second course right away.

But he had to be honest with himself. Even running after the Wraith with his severely depleted weaponry one thing and one thing only was on his mind: he had to keep Rodney safe. That was the only thing that mattered.

***

The ride to the satellite was torture. Sheer, unadulterated torture.

To have to sit a few feet away from Sheppard for fifteen hours and not be able to do anything was torture. There was no other way to explain it. He could feel the tension humming in his bones, the need to touch, to feel, to do _something_.

And what the hell was that all about?

Add one annoying, whining, crying scientist and his sycophant, it just became unbearable.

But instead of checking out the Ancient satellite—dead, Ancient satellite—they'd decided to investigate the remains of a downed Wraith ship. This would have been a fantastic opportunity to finally dig into their systems and find out how they worked—and maybe find a weakness.

But things never went the way they planned.

He should have considered the possibility that a lone Wraith would have survived. He knew they were capable of hibernating for hundreds of years at a time. But with a sufficient power-source and hundreds of bodies in suspended animation, anything was possible.

He should have known better. But no. He'd been too busy ogling Sheppard's ass and now the major was gone, playing Captain Kirk to a super cranky, badass Klingon, leaving him alone with a dying man.

And the not-knowing was killing him. After the last radio contact, Sheppard had been quiet, too quiet, which meant that Rodney's overactive imagination went to work, sending his body and mind into overdrive. His nervous energy turned into pacing, sending him back and forth from wall-to-wall like a ping-pong ball.

Glancing down at the life signs detector for the tenth time in less than five minutes, he tried to calm himself. He didn't see anything on his scope, but it didn't mean much. He didn't have much range. Anything could be happening. The Wraith could be coming back.

"It's been too long. I think the major could be in trouble. And if he's in trouble, we're in trouble," Rodney said more to himself than to the half-dead scientist leaning against the wall behind him.

Brendan Gall sighed. “Then go.”

Rodney turned on his heel, a bead of hope that things may have changed in the last little while. "You figure you can move?"

"Not a chance. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay," he sighed, glancing over his shoulder toward the entrance before turning back to Gall. "That's okay." 

But it really wasn't. He turned back to the entrance, moving out a little further, his feet now in the hall just outside.

“Go. Rodney, just go. Save the day.”

What should he do? He knew what Sheppard had told him, ordered him to do. But, that was then and this is now. Things could have changed. Sheppard….John could be dead for all he knew. What then?

His mind spun creating scenario after scenario, his thoughts slowly coalescing into muttered thoughts.

"What I really wanna do is call him on the radio, but I'm afraid if he's hiding from the Wraith, I might inadvertently give away his position, and let's face it, what chance do we have against the Wraith if Sheppard can't take him out? I was hoping to be strong enough, then I—"

A single shot rang out behind him. Turning around slowly, he took in the body of Brendan Gall, slumped down, a gaping hole in his forehead, blood dripping down his face. One hand had fallen slack at his side, the nine mil lying on the ground next to it. Gall was dead. Dead. Had taken his own life. Dead.

"Oh, no!"

His eyes were fixed on Brendan. On the man with the gun shot to the head.

Oh, god. No. Brendan. No.

He dropped to the floor, staring, unable to look away—as if the sight were his own penance.

How…why…Oh, God. Brendan, why?

The nausea came suddenly, forcing him toward the wall where he emptied his stomach, retching until there was nothing left, until he was dry heaving, his panting breaths the only sound apart from the dripping of Gall's blood.

He had to get out of here. He couldn’t stay. Grabbing his firearm and life signs detector, he managed to find his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he turned, running for the entrance, leaving everything else—everyone else—behind.

The scenery blurred by as he ran, his eyes focused on his goal—the valley where they'd left the jumper, the place where Sheppard was fighting the Wraith—if he were still alive.

He couldn't think about that now.

Turning the last corner, he spotted them—both of them—and then watched John fly through the air as the Wraith back-handed him.

And he wasn't moving. Lying on the ground. Not moving.

No! Nononononono. Not again. Please not again. Not another one. Not him.

He found the speed and the energy he didn't think he had, pushing himself forward, his sidearm coming up to aim just like Sheppard had taught him.

Keeping his eyes on the target he squeezed the trigger. Once. Twice. Three times.

"Major!" He yelled to Sheppard, even as the Wraith turned to him.

“McKay!” His own name had never sounded so good.

What the hell was he doing here? How did he get here? He'd just shot a Wraith. Oh my God. He'd shot a Wraith and now it knew he was there. "What do I do now?"

John was still on the ground, but he caught Rodney's eye for a second and held it, giving him a bit of confidence. “Keep firing everything you've got!”

Raising his weapon, he aimed, firing and firing even as the Wraith kept coming toward him. Every time he hit it, it jerked, the slug lodging itself in its body, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't stopping.

The sound of the empty clip startled him into awareness once again. "Okay, what now?!"

"Reload!"

Reload! Of course. Why didn't he think of that? He had extra ammo. Sheppard had made sure of that. Always taking care of him, protecting him. Oh, god, he thought, trying to reload and watch the Wraith at the same time.

Finally! The clip in place, he aimed and fired. Again. And again. And again.

The empty clip, though, signals something very bad, something he didn't even want to think about. He was out of bullets and they were out of time.

"No more bullets!"

In horror, he saw John get up behind the Wraith, running and tackling it from behind. The Wraith swiped at him, and John ducked, but apparently Sheppard didn’t see the second one coming. For the second time, he watched John fly through the air, landing hard on the ground.

No! Nonononononono! The next few minutes blurred—Sheppard talking to Ford, Sheppard telling him to run, and than a huge explosion that rained debris and burnt, charred Wraith on him.

After a minute, through the smoke, he heard a welcome voice. “McKay?”

He slowly rose to his feet, waving his hand—the empty weapon still clutched in his grip. "Still here!"

John was alive. He was alive. That's all that mattered.

***

John was lying on the narrow bench in the back of the jumper, trying to ignore the way his body ached, and the constant throbbing in his arm. Teyla had done a better patch job on it once the other jumper had landed, but it still hurt like hell.

It had taken Rodney several hours and the use of the tools and equipment on the other jumper to disable the Super-Wraith’s shield, then another hour to repair all the damage he had caused so they could go home. While he had been working, the other team had flown to the downed supple ship and recovered the bodies of Abrams and Gall. Ford had radioed him on the condition he had found Gall in.

Suicide.

And evidence someone else had been very sick.

God. Rodney.

He wanted nothing more than to comfort his lover, but he knew from experience that sometimes a man needed a little time to get it straight in his own head. John himself needed time to come to grips that the men he had lost this time were scientists, who never should have been in danger to begin with. He was supposed to protect them, but he had failed. The stab of doubt about whether or not he could do this was quickly suppressed – he didn’t have time for his own issues right now.

So he stayed still, let them both get lost in their thoughts. Moving really, really hurt right now anyway. It had taken some convincing to allow the two of them to fly back alone. He had finally resorted to making it an order. He’d made a point of pulling Teyla aside and telling her they both needed some peace to work through what had happened. She had understood—he knew she would—and had backed him up.

Finally, after they had been in the air a few hours and Rodney still hadn’t said anything, he forced himself to sit up, biting back a cry at the protest his body set up.

Taking a moment to catch his breath and wipe away the beads of sweat, he moved to the co-pilot chair and gingerly sat down. “Hey.”

"Hey"

"It wasn't your fault."

Rodney sighed, his eyes on the jumper in front of them. "I don't know what you're talking about, Major."

"Ford told me what they found when they recovered Gall and Abrams. It wasn't your fault." He reached over the console—wincing since it was his injured arm—and managed to capture Rodney's hand.

"I need that to fly."

With a faint frown, John asked the jumper if it could lock on to the vehicle in front and follow. The HUD scrolled rapidly through screens, then a word in Ancient flashed. John was willing to bet it was something along the lines of 'autopilot'. If he didn't hurt so much and wasn't so worried about Rodney, he would have said 'cool.' "There, now you don't. Come sit in the back with me?"

Rodney finally turned to him, his eyes wide. "I'm flying."

"You can go back to it later if you want. I asked the jumper to be a good little lemming and follow. As long as Ford's team doesn't crash into an asteroid, we'll be fine." He stood, wincing again as his ribs protested. "I need to stretch out. Come back with me."

"You don't need my help to stretch."

With a sigh, he got a hand under Rodney's arm and pulled him up. "I don't plan to do any actual stretching. I just can't sit up in that chair for long."

"Then why did you say you were going to stretch?" Rodney protested, but allowed himself to be led. "And we can't just leave the jumper—"

John pushed him down onto a bench and then laid down, this time pillowing his head on Rodney's lap. "I said I needed to stretch out. It doesn't hurt so much like this. And don't worry about the jumper. It's on autopilot. If there's a problem, it will let us know."

"You need to see Beckett as soon as we get to Atlantis."

"I'll be fine. Just a few bruised ribs." He reached up with the un-injured arm and stroked Rodney's face. "It wasn't your fault."

"I saw you fly through the air—twice. That's not a bruise," Rodney said, refusing the take the comfort John was offering.

"I was planning to see Beckett. I need to get my arm looked at, too." He closed his eyes when Rodney's hand started running through his hair. "Wanna talk about what happened after I left?"

"No." His voice was small.

"I'll accept that for now, but you will have to talk to someone. I'm here if you want it to be me."

"I don't have to talk to anyone." The chin rose, his lips settling into a thin, stubborn line.

John reached up again, tracing the line of his mouth with a finger. "It will make it easier. Believe me."

"Nothing will make it easier."

"It will. I know you don't think so now, but it's still fresh. I don't like shrinks usually, but in this instance I agree with them. When you lose men—especially like that—you need to talk to someone, let it out." John wondered when he had become a deep and introspective person. Must be in reaction to Rodney needing someone to ground him.

With John's hand still on his face, Rodney shook his head and Sheppard could feel him shaking. It began slowly with small tremors, until his whole body shook with them, his breathing harsh.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here." Ignoring his own body now, John sat up and scooted, wrapping his arms around Rodney and drawing him close.

At first, McKay tried to pull away, but Sheppard wouldn't let him, holding him tight even though his ribs screamed at him. And then, it was like a something turned off and Rodney slumped against him, burying his face in his neck, his entire body trembling.

John rained light kisses onto Rodney's head, and whispered anything he could think of that might provide a little comfort, mostly repetitions of 'it's okay,' 'I'm here,' and 'let it out.'

But Rodney didn't cry, didn't sob. Instead, the shaking slowly stopped and the desperate grip Rodney had on him loosened.

John continued to hold him; he felt the sweat soaking through his shirt and pants as his body screamed to return to a prone position. Even then, he didn't let go, just rested his head on the top of Rodney's and gave everything he could.

When Rodney finally sat back, his face was closed, his eyes devoid of the spark John normally associated with him. "You should probably lie back down," he said quietly, disengaging himself from John's arms.

"Rodney. Don't go." John tried to stand to follow him.

"You need to rest," McKay said, moving toward the jumper's med kit on the other bench, pulling out a blister pack of painkillers and handing them over. "You should take two more."

"No. Don't shut me out." He finally got to his feet and leaned in, trusting Rodney to catch him before he got far. He wasn't disappointed.

"I…I can't do this right now."

"Then sit with me. The jumper is flying by itself right now, and we have twelve hours until we get back to Atlantis. Prop yourself up in the corner and try to get some sleep, and let me use you for a pillow."

"I…" Rodney began, only to trail off, his eyes dropping.

John reached out and tipped his head up, forcing him to meet his gaze. "It. Wasn't. Your. Fault. There was nothing you could have done differently. Gall made his own choice."

"You repeating that is not going to make it true."

"It is true. Me repeating it will make you believe it."

Rodney moved them, finally lowering John to the bench. "You need to rest."

Sighing, John allowed himself to be manhandled. "Not unless you're staying with me. If you try to walk away, I'll just be forced to get up and follow you again."

"Sheppard…" Rodney closed his eyes for a moment. "I can't. Not right now."

"Please." He cringed a little internally at the feeling of damp material against his skin. He longed to take it off, but he didn't know how Rodney would react to that right now. "Look, I don't have anything to say to make it hurt less. All I can tell you is that every time you lose a man, especially if they were a friend or you even knew them well, it hurts. If you let it, it will eat you from the inside out. I've tried that, and it's not pleasant. If you're not ready to deal with it yet, fine, but just...sit with me. That's all I'm asking for right now."

Rodney's body trembled again, but he got it under control. "I need to hold on right now and I don't know if I can if I’m holding onto you."

"Why do you need to hold on? It's just the two of us, and it will be for hours yet. Let it go, Rodney."

He shook his head. "I…I can't. Not now."

John closed his eyes, fighting pain and frustration. "Why?"

Rodney voice was small, scared. "Because if I let it start I don't know if it will ever end."

Once again, the pain in Rodney's voice overrode the pain in his body. He got his arms around him again and pulled him close. "It does end. I promise."

"I just don't see how."

"Then trust me."

"I…" Rodney broke off, the tremors starting again.

"Come here." He managed to get them both onto the floor. He wrapped what he could around Rodney's body and held him tight. While it still hurt, lying flat at least eased up some of the pressure in his ribs, too. "Just let it out. I'm here."

"No. You're hurt. You shouldn’t—"

"I'm fine. It's okay." He kissed Rodney's ear, which happened to be the only body part he could reach without moving.

"It's not fine," Rodney said, his face pressed into John's shoulder. "And I'm so goddamn tired."

Sighing, John sank into Rodney's embrace. "I know."

"So tired…God! Why?" Rodney tensed. "Why? Why? Why?"

"I wish I had an answer for you. He knew he was dying. Maybe he thought it would give you a chance."

"He was getting better. He was. He had to."

"He was fed on by a Wraith. We don't know how that works. He was probably in pain, probably scared. To him, this was the best option, a way out. We don't have to agree with it, but it was his choice."

"No!" Rodney pushed himself up. "I showed him what he'd become. I showed him what the Wraith took from him."

"So you showed him his reflection? He already knew, Rodney. I saw it when we found him. All you did was show him a mirror. It was still his choice." And John was torn about it. Personally, he thought suicide was a coward's way out. But he also knew that if Gall hadn't taken that path, Rodney wouldn't have gotten there in time to buy them a few more minutes. Ford would have taken out the Wraith before it got to Rodney and Gall, but John would have been dead. He wondered if Rodney had thought of that.

"I…I can't." Rodney shook his head, moving to rise, but John's hand wouldn't let him go.

"Rodney. Lie down. You said yourself you're tired, and dealing with this sort of thing, even in better circumstances, is harder when you're dead on your feet. Come here and close your eyes. Even if you don't think you can sleep, at least let your body rest."

"But—"

"No buts. Besides, I'm freezing and you put off heat like a furnace. Please?" If he had to resort to making Rodney believe he was doing it for John’s comfort and not his own, he would.

"That's not very flattering," Rodney finally said, settling down again, careful where he placed his body, his head, but managing to tangle himself around John without leaning on anything too hard.

"Yes, it is. I like how warm you are." John finally let his body relax a little, the aches starting to intrude again now that he'd gotten Rodney over this first hurdle. He knew there would be more, but later. Hopefully not until they were back in Atlantis and he had the good drugs.

***

Sighing into his morning coffee, Carson took the last few sips before putting the mug in the small sink they had in the back—the infirmary kitchen so to speak where all dirty dishes and snacks found their way.

It was about time for his rounds. Thankfully, he only had two patients. Although, Biro had two dead bodies this time.

Pulling on his lab coat, he moved through the ward to where he'd had Sheppard and Rodney set up—side-by-side—not that they knew much last night as exhausted as they were.

As he rounded the corner, he saw penetrating hazel eyes watching him. "What's Rodney doing in the infirmary, and why's he on an IV and still asleep? Was he injured and didn't tell me? What's wrong with him?"

"Well, good morning to you too, lad," Carson said, stepping next to the major's bed, doing a quick vitals check on him.

John tried to shake him off. "Carson, what's wrong with Rodney?"

"First things first," Carson said, shaking his head, not allowing Sheppard to dislodge him. "How are you feeling his morning? Any discomfort?"

"You know I'm not going to answer that until you give me some information."

"And until I can determine how you are, I am not releasing any information to you about another patient." Carson met his eyes evenly.

"Fine. I feel like I was tossed around by a Super-Wraith and shot in the arm."

"Aye, and a good job he did on you. How are you feeling? We have you on ibuprofen right now for the pain, but I can give you something stronger if you need it."

He saw the flicker in John's eyes that he knew from experience meant the man was going to lie to him. "A little sore, but not bad."

"And why would you lie to me, laddie?"

John flinched. "I hate being drugged."

"Aye, I know, but right now you're off duty for the next six weeks—baring complications."

"Six weeks!" John shot straight up, and Carson didn't miss the wince of pain at the movement. "You've got to be kidding! Carson, it's not that bad, just a little sore."

"Two fractured ribs are not something to ignore," Beckett said sternly. "You are on bed rest for the first week and I'm prescribing pain medication so you breathe correctly. I will not be having you get pneumonia or a partial lung collapse because you were too pig-headed to listen to medical advice."

John's eyes had gone wide. "You've got to be... No. I'll take it easy. Just, let me pull light duty. I won't go off-world for a few days. I don't need bed-rest or pain medication."

"I've already told Elizabeth, so don't go pulling that on me. And you will be spending that first week here with me. No arguments."

"Fuck. Come on. If I agree to stay in bed, will you let me at least go back to my room? And no drugs. I don't need them."

"No and that's the end of it." Carson pulled the chart from the bedside table, jotting down a few notes.

"Fine, I'll stay here, but no drugs. Please?" John turned the heart-meltingly pathetic look on him that Carson had been immune to since after the first few times John ended up in the infirmary.

"I will give you what I see fit in prescribing and you will take it. If you refuse to take the pills, I will strap you down and stick an IV in your arm. Am I understood?"

John's eyes widened. "You wouldn't!"

"Don't doubt me, laddie. I may look like a push-over, but when it comes to patient care you'll find that I am not so easy." He closed the file, tucking it under his arm. "I'll be back in a little while with your breakfast and your morning dose of painkillers."

John slumped back into the bed, then sat up straight again. "Wait, no, Rodney. What's wrong with Rodney?"

"I think you need to lay back down and rest and not be worrying your head about him. I'll take care of him."

"No, Carson, please. I need to know."

Beckett paused, waiting. "Know what?"

Several emotions flickered over John's face. "What's wrong with him that he was kept overnight here? Is he's dealing with the deaths alright? He..." John's eyes had drifted over to Rodney's still-sleeping form. "I'm not allowed to talk about him when he's not here— and I don't think him sleeping in the bed next to me counts as him being here. But I need to know he's going to be okay. Otherwise you're going to have to restrain me to make me cooperate with you on anything else."

Carson sighed. "So you did have that discussion."

"Yeah, before he came to see you. I was properly punished for it. That man can be evil when he sets his mind to it." John paused, a smile ghosting across his lips. "In a good way, though."

"Be glad he has a sense of humor, lad." Carson's eyes drifted over to Rodney, still sleeping soundly thanks to the benefits of modern medicine. "He's still asleep because I prescribed a sedative for him."

"Why?"

"He came in with many of the signs of shock: cool, pale, clammy skin; a weak and rapid pulse, shallow breathing, some anxiety, and low blood pressure. Because of the…circumstances surrounding your last mission, most of it was situational. Sleep, in this instance, will do him a world of good."

John was still watching Rodney carefully. Carson could see the affection in his eyes. "This was a hard mission for him. I tried to help on the way back, but I don't know if it did much good."

"He needs to deal with it himself," Carson said, patting John's arm. "And just to finish up, the IV is to level out his blood sugar."

"I know. But we're a lot alike in some ways. It took me losing a lot of friends, and nearly losing my career and my mind, to finally realize I couldn't just ignore the pain. I don't want to see him go through that."

"Then help him—once you're released. Right now you need to worry about getting yourself better."

"If he'll let me." John shook his head. "And I've had worse. I don't know what the fuss is for a few ribs."

Carson sighed. "We're a long way from home and we're running out of medicine. I canna have you getting any complications."

"So save the drugs for people who really need them."

"If you rest and take the pain meds I'm prescribing I'll be able to."

"I don't need the pain meds, but I'll concede the point on the rest. Under protest of course."

"You will take the pain meds. Those I have plenty of because of people like you. It's the more serious drugs that we're starting to run short on."

John sighed. "I hate feeling drugged and foggy. I can't think straight."

"Trust me, John."

With a wry smile, his patient settled back into the bed. "I don't have much choice, do I? You've threatened to have me strapped down."

"Not much, but I'd rather you trust me that I would'na do anything I did'na think was right and good for you."

"I know. And I do trust you. I just hate being drugged. I trained myself to work through quite a bit of pain so I wouldn't need to take drugs."

Carson paused, leaning a hip against the bed. Perhaps an explanation would help. "I canna have you getting anything more serious because you can't inflate your lungs correctly because of your ribs. The pain meds will help to make sure your breaths are deep, the way they should be."

John sighed again. "Fine. Just...promise me you'll use the lowest dose possible." His eyes drifted to Rodney again.

"I will."

"When will he wake up?"

"When he's ready, I imagine. I gave him a good dose last night."

"Then he got a good night's sleep. He needed it."

"Aye. More than you know," Carson nodded, thinking back to the state his friend had been in when they'd returned.

"You're wrong. I do know." John closed his eyes.

Beckett looked at him for a long moment before he reached out and patted the major's arm. "Aye," he said quietly, "I imagine you might know." He left his hand there for a moment before, sighing, moving back toward his office. Breakfast would wait a bit.

***

It hadn't taken too much convincing to get Carson to release Rodney from the infirmary. With John laid up for possibly weeks—and he'd been right about the fractured ribs—Beckett had his hands full and one less ornery patient was a good thing.

Besides, he wasn't sick or injured.

Sheppard had been harder to shake. Even injured, the man wouldn't give up. There was only so much smothering and mother-henning a man could take and Rodney had reached his limit within about five minutes.

Carson brought John lunch, distracting him enough to allow Rodney to slip free before he said something he'd later regret. He wasn't good with sick people, injured people…people people. They had a code he just couldn't crack.

So, instead of letting himself dwell on anything he didn't even begin to understand, he threw himself into his work—and there was a lot of it to do. Thanks to the storm, parts of Atlantis were only now starting to dry out—and that required teams to investigate how badly systems and structures had been compromised.

It had taken him a few days to develop a plan. Delving into the Ancient database, he researched and cross-referenced sections and systems in the affected parts of the city, prioritizing which ones needed to be checked out first.

This morning, he and Zelenka—along with Lieutenant Ford—had started with a small section, some of the original living quarters. It had been hit hard and would give them a good idea of what some of the larger sections would be like and how difficult it might be to fix.

It was dark and damp and sometimes Rodney felt like he was intruding.

Radek emerged from one of the rooms, shaking his head. "There is much damage. It will be difficult to return this section to as it was before the storm. If the others are in this shape, we are in for a very difficult job."

"I know," Rodney said, scowling as he glanced down at the information on the tablet PC in his hands. "Although, this section was hit a little harder than most. The windows didn't help."

"Perhaps our luck will finally change and this will be the worst of what we must deal with."

"Knowing our luck," Rodney shook his head as he moved to the next room down the hall, "I doubt it."

He heard Radek sigh behind him. "We are overdue for good luck, no?"

"Long overdue," Rodney muttered, ducking into the next room, leaving Radek to take the one across the hall while Ford patrolled, trying to stay awake on his feet. This was a larger room and like the rest, had some water damage, but it looked structurally sound. And here, like in a few of the other rooms, were small Ancient devices. Snagging what he could, he dumped them into his pack for later study, recording what he'd found and his observations before heading out.

"Hey, Doc, how's it going? Finding anything Earth-shattering?" Ford looked a little desperate for something to kill the boredom.

"No," he said, shaking his head, scowling at the screen. "We only have a few more rooms along here. I'd like to head down to another section since we're out this way. It looked like a series of small labs."

"I'll check in with Doctor Weir and let her know. If she clears it, I'm game. Gotta be more interesting than old living quarters, right?"

"She's not going to say no. We have to get it done."

"Probably not, but I'll have my ass handed to me if I don't clear it. By the time you finish here, I'll have an answer for you." Ford grinned at him.

"Fine," he said, rolling his eyes as Zelenka appeared again, another door down from where he thought he should be. "You finished the other room?"

"Yes. Bedroom, bedroom, bedroom. They do not take long."

"And you're still collecting—"

Radek waved at a bag slung over his shoulder. "Yes, yes, I have many new toys for us to play with later."

"I'll take them when we get back to the lab." Rodney paused outside another room, checking his notes before heading inside.

"Only if you will agree to give some back to me once they have been activated. I am not spending time collecting them for my health."

"Then I'll take the damn devices," Rodney said, turning on his heel, his hand outstretched.

Radek clutched the bag to his chest. "These are mine."

"Until I check them, they are property of the science department of which I'm in charge of, therefore they are mine," Rodney said. "I'll be looking at all of them before I give them to anyone."

Radek nodded, but didn't release his grip on the bag. "This I know. However, last time devices were found, I was caught up in another project and did not get to play with the new toys."

Even though his mind kept replaying the image of Gall over and over again, Rodney found himself nodding, just to get Radek moving again—anything to get him working, thinking about something else. "You'll get some. I promise. Later. Can we just keep going?"

Radek let the bag fall back to his side, his expression suddenly going sharp. One of the problems with working with Earth's 'best and brightest' was that they didn't miss much. "You are all right?"

"I'm damp and cold and want to get this section done so we can move onto the small section of labs that are near here. Is that so much to ask?"

Radek's watched him carefully for a full minute before nodding. "We are nearly done here, and the labs should be more interesting, at least. Although I am still holding out hope that we will find rooms with beds larger than a child-size twin. I am tired of waking up on the floor because I have rolled off in the night."

"Some of us mastered sleeping in a bed a long time ago. You should try it sometime," Rodney said, heading into the nearest room, Radek following behind.

"I cannot help that I require room to move at night. It is a product of my active mind that it cannot stop even in sleep."

Shaking his head, Rodney stabbed at his PC, waiting for the correct file to load. "Well, if you're going to stand there, you might as well work. Go check the outer wall." McKay turned to the adjoining bathroom, collecting any spare items along the way.

He heard something muttered in Czech, but when he came back out, Radek was finishing with the wall. "This is the last room in this hall."

"Good. Ford was checking in with Elizabeth about the other wing we need to check." He jotted down a few notes before turning an eye to Zelenka. "So?"

Radek looked up from his own tablet, expression unreadable. "Yes?"

"The wall?"

"It is still there."

Rodney scowled at the other man. "I can certainly see that. You're the engineer. Will it stay that way?"

"No sense of humor. That is your problem. You must learn to laugh more." Zelenka shook his head. "The walls in this sector are all structurally sound. From what I can determine, the damage was mostly cosmetic, although there is plenty of that. Perhaps the botanists should be involved to ensure there is no spread of mold or other organic problems."

Rodney nodded. "Agreed. I'll make a note to get someone down here to check on that."

"Also one of the electrical engineers. Someone who can check all the wiring, and ensure nothing will short out when we attempt to return power here. I do not know yet if the crystal power structure will have the same issues as our electrical ones, but it would not hurt to be cautious. If nothing else, the exercise will give them a better understanding of the power flows and how the ZPM works to deliver energy to the city."

"Consider it done." Rodney made some more notes, before glancing up and starting for the door. "Ford," he said as soon as his feet hit the hallway. "What did Elizabeth say?"

The soldier was picking up his foot and staring at the bottom of it, a disgusted look on his face. Rodney saw he was standing near one of the small pools that still hadn't dried up. "We have the all-clear. Check in every hour, like this section. She wants you and Zelenka to report at 1800 to go over everything you've found today. So that gives us," he looked at his watch, "four hours."

"That's not enough time," Rodney complained, already moving down the hall. There was no working transporter in the area so they were going to have to hoof it. He tapped his radio. "McKay to Weir."

"This is Weir."

"What is this with the meeting at 1800? There's no way we can properly inspect the area in that short amount of time."

"You've been out there all day, Rodney. I'd like to know what you found, and get an update on what its going to require in terms of clean-up. You have four hours to look over the labs Lieutenant Ford mentioned, and if after that you feel they warrant further inspection, we can talk about authorizing another scouting party."

"There's no point in having another team trudge out here to look it over when we're already out here," Rodney countered, checking his notes before gesturing that they needed to head down the connecting corridor. "I'll give you an update first thing in the morning."

"Rodney, you started at 0800 this morning. 1800 is not an unreasonable request, and you can head back out tomorrow if you still think it's necessary. I'll see you and Doctor Zelenka in my office in four hours. Weir out."

McKay growled, but tapped his radio off as he picked up the pace.

Radek and Ford wisely kept silent as they made their way through the halls.

They reached the section a few minutes later and Rodney quickly dispersed the group, sending Ford to look as well. Even he could see if a wall was about ready to fall down or not.

"And pick up any small items you find," he ordered. "Record where they were found. I'll check them over later."

"Yes, sir!" Ford snapped him a salute and shot him a grin, then started picking his way over to where Rodney had indicated.

Rodney offered a curse at the lieutenant's retreating back before ducking into his own room, surprised by the amount of equipment—large equipment. It was like a small infirmary.

He tapped his radio. "Radek, are you in the middle of medical equipment?"

It took a moment for the other scientist to respond. "I believe so. Without testing I cannot be sure, but many of these machines are similar to the ones we discovered early in the infirmary."

"Could this be a secondary infirmary? It is near one of the landing docks."

There was more foreign muttering before Radek reverted to English again. "It could be, yes. We must get Doctor Beckett down here to investigate. While most of these look somewhat familiar, there are a few in this room that I have seen nothing else similar."

"I'll make a note to get one of his staff here with the next group. I told Elizabeth we needed more time. I was right." Rodney wandered through the area. It was damp and cool, but the room looked pretty sound. "We need to get the transporter up and running in this area, too."

"I will make that a top priority on my schedule. And while I agree we need more time, we will not get much done here without Doctor Beckett or one of his staff. They will be able to far more quickly determine the uses for these machines than you or I."

"If we call him now and he gets his ass out here, we can go through this tonight."

There was a long pause, and when Radek finally responded, Rodney could tell he was choosing his words carefully. "We have been at this all day, my friend, and we are both getting fatigued. It would be better, I think, to take a break and report to Doctor Weir as requested and then return here tomorrow morning when we are fresh and rested."

"I have no intention of hiking back out here again in the morning when we have other section of the city to inspect," Rodney growled. "If you want to head back for the meeting, go ahead."

"We are not on any deadlines, Rodney. This equipment has waited several weeks since the storm, and many centuries before that. Another day or two while we complete the surveys will not harm anything."

"If you're going to keep nattering on about this, I don't want to hear it."

"Wearing yourself thin when there is no reason to do so will only decrease the resources you have available when a true emergency arises. I do not know why you are behaving this way, but it is not healthy."

"I'm fine. Now if you will just shut up and get back to work, we'd all be a lot happier. McKay out."

He heard a shouted Czech curse from the other room, but he ignored it.

Instead of one room, the area he was checking out was a series of rooms, each one leading deeper into the facility. While smaller than the infirmary Carson currently used, this one looked more high-tech. Maybe serving specialized fields or medical conditions. Interesting. Rodney needed to get more information before he turned it over to the medical section.

Making several notes, he saved the file before continuing on, careful where he put his feet and what he touched. Even though he'd slipped on a pair of latex gloves you never knew what you would find.

He was surprised when Ford's voice broke through his concentration some time later.

"Sir, it's 1730, and it will take us about thirty minutes to return to Stargate Command. We should head out."

Absently tapping on his radio, Rodney paused, jotting down a few more notes as he replied. "You go on ahead."

"No can do, sir. It's an all or nothing deal. Doctor Zelenka is here and ready to go, we're just waiting on you."

"Then you're going to have to learn to live with disappointment, Lieutenant. I'm not ready to go." He turned, checking his tablet again, before turning into another room, a little deeper in.

"Sir, Doc, don't make me come in after you. I'd hate to have to do it. I'm only following orders, which includes bringing you and Zelenka back to the command center at 1800."

"And, oh! Look at the time. Seems we're not going to make it so I might as well finish what I'm doing. I'll radio when I'm ready to go. McKay out." He tapped it off as he paused to do a visual check of the walls before moving to the room itself.

It was probably ten minutes later when Ford, carefully picking his way through the debris, came into the room Rodney was working in, Zelenka trailing behind him. "All right, Doc. Time to go."

"I said I'd radio you when I'm done. I have not radioed, therefore I am not done," Rodney said, moving into the adjoining room.

"Sorry, Doc. I have my orders. I've already let Doctor Weir know that you were…reluctant to leave, so we're running late, but she's not happy. If we don't double-time it, she might not authorize any more of these surveys at all."

"She can't not authorize them. It's for the safety of Atlantis. She has no choice. And I," he said, turning to Ford with a sneer, "am not done. Go bother someone who cares."

Zelenka chimed in from behind. "She might continue to authorize them but not allow you to join the teams, my friend. Come, let us go get dinner and debrief, and we will return first thing in the morning. We have many new objects to test as well, if you feel the need to kill yourself by working late tonight."

Rodney felt his face pale at Radek's words, but he turned quickly, burying his head back in his tablet. "What part of 'no' do you not understand?"

Radek had moved forward and put his hand on Rodney's shoulder. "No is not an option right now. If your good sense does not tell you to let it be for now, then Doctor Weir's order should compel you to leave. You are not so foolish as to disobey her orders for no good reason, and I do not believe there is anything here to provide such a reason."

"We don't know that." They didn't understand. He had to check this now. There was so much more to do tomorrow and the day after.

"And that is why we have no reason to delay. We do not know what is down here, and as I said earlier it has remained untouched for many years, it will survive one more evening. Come, let us head back and plan to return in the morning, medical staff in tow."

"I—"

Radek had moved his hand down to Rodney's elbow and began to gently steer him towards the exit. "Not to mention you have not had a real meal since breakfast this morning. You are tired, I can see it in the way you carry yourself. I am not your Mother, to insist you cease work today, but you can tinker in the labs after we have met with Elizabeth, if that is your decision."

Rodney set his jaw. "Fine."

He heard Ford mutter a relieved "Thank God," under his breath. Radek patted his arm but released him, letting him walk without being tugged along. In silence, they made their way back to the inhabited part of the city.

It took them nearly an hour to finally get back—Ford's estimate horribly wrong—and by that time Rodney's mood had dipped down from annoyed to foul. Stopping only long enough at the labs to leave their packs and the devices, Rodney and Radek headed to the control room and Elizabeth Weir.

Joy.

***

Carson Beckett closed his eyes and put a hand on the large machine in front of him. He knew that, technically, he didn't need to be touching something to use the ATA gene on it, but the whole mental thing still sort of made his queasy, so this was his compromise.

Radek had found an entry in the database about the new lab he and Rodney had discovered—it operated along the lines of a walk-in clinic, taking care of minor injuries, as well as emergencies that happened on this side of the city, at least until the patient could be moved up to the main ward for longer-term care.

It was all very efficient actually.

But that meant they had some equipment down here he didn't have upstairs, this machine being one of them. They had found some notes on what was down here, but for the most part the translators were still trying to make sense of everything. Radek had finally convinced him to come down himself—now that they had the transporters working to this sector—and "ask" it what it did.

He got the vague impression of a scanner, and something having to do with bones. Pulling back he eyed it again, a voice breaking into his thoughts.

"So? What miracles will it enable to you perform?"

Glancing over, Carson shook his head. "I dinna know yet. It may just be a more sophisticated scanner for bone injuries, but I got the impression there's more to it. Some sort of repair component. It may be that this little beauty can repair breaks faster than time alone."

"Yes. We believed it to be something like that," Radek said with a small self-satisfied smile.

Turning his attention back to the machine, Carson felt his lips twitch. "And not too soon either. I canna keep Major Sheppard in the infirmary any longer, but I know as soon as I release him the bloody git will push himself. If I can speed up the healing on those ribs of his, we'll all breathe a bit easier."

"Yes, we will all be much happier when Major Sheppard is back on his feet," Radek agreed, ducking around the other side of the machine to check on something.

Following him, Carson frowned a little. "He's driving me and my staff insane, but I did'na realize you spent much time with him, lad. Are any of the Marines bothering you folk in the labs?"

"No, it is so he will get McKay out of the labs. That man is driving us nuts. Nothing is good enough. He is not happy with anything. He stays all hours working on projects and then berates us for working too late." Radek paused, taking a breath before standing up. "I have tried to talk sense into the man, but he ignores me and tells me to stop meddling. And he has not yelled at anyone in a week."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Carson felt his stomach drop. "He told me he was'na working too late. That doesn't sound like him at all. What's been going on?"

"And you believed him?"

"I've been a mite busy keeping his partner in crime from doing himself further injury."

Radek sighed, looking as weary as Carson had ever seen him. "If Rodney is not in the labs, then he is working in his quarters. We brought back many small devices during our inspection tour of this section the other day. He will not let anyone touch them until he has the chance to look them over. I have seen several scientists glowering at him, but he does not notice."

"That's not healthy. He needs to rest."

"Then you try to explain it to him. I have tried and he does not listen, but I am accustomed to that." Radek shrugged. "And here we are not under immediate threat and he is like this. What will happen later when the Wraith come? What then? I do not know how much longer he can continue like this."

"No, you're right. He can'na push himself like this. I'll have a talk with him." Carson trailed off, speaking more to himself. "If he won't rest by himself, I might have to admit him to the infirmary."

"Admit him," Radek said, nodding.

Chuckling, Carson straightened from where he'd been leaning against the machine. "Actually, why don't I go talk to him now? I need a break, and you need time to see if you can get this thing working. Now that I have an idea of what it does, I'd say focus on this one first. Give me a call when it's running again, and I'll run some tests."

Radek nodded, already pulling connection cables out of his pack. "It will not take long."

"Take your time, lad. I might be a while." With a final wave, Carson headed back up, his mind already on Rodney. The man had barely been by to visit John, and he knew the Major was hurt by it, although he hadn't said anything. And to hear Rodney was running himself into the ground...yes, it was probably past time he had a chat with the wayward physicist.

It didn't take him long to find Rodney in his usual corner of the labs. What wasn't usual was how quiet it was. Usually, even as he worked, Rodney was berating his staff and generally being vocal about whatever it was he was doing.

Now, however, he was sitting silently. Carson paused for a moment, noting the dark circles under his friend's eyes, and the paleness of his skin. He slipped up next to him, making sure to scuff his foot a little so Rodney would hear him coming and not startle.

He decided to try the direct approach—that was usually the best option with their chief science officer. "You look like hell, lad."

"Thank you for that astute observation," Rodney replied disdainfully, not looking up. "If that's all you wanted you can turn around and walk back out the door."

"Actually, I was hoping to find out why you look like hell, and see if I couldn't do something about it." He pulled up a nearby stool and sat down, looking around to verify that no one else was in the area. The few other scientists working had seen him come in and had left, probably assuming there was going to be yelling.

"I'm fine, thanks for your concern. I’m in the middle of something, so if you'd just…move along—"

"You know that won't work with me. You look like you have'na slept in days, and from the reports I'm hearing, you’re working yourself into the ground. Not to mention, you've barely been by to see Major Sheppard at all. What's going on Rodney?"

"I've been by," Rodney said, glancing up, confusion on his face. "Every morning."

"Aye, for all of five minutes. Even before the two of you," he waved his hand in a vague gesture, "when one of you was in my infirmary I had a hard time prying the other out. You're usually there with games and movies and who knows what else, riling each other up and keeping one another entertained. I know he's bored, and looks for you every afternoon. Though he has'na said anything, I think he's a bit hurt that you haven't been by."

"I've been busy."

"From what I can tell, you're making work for yourself. Rodney, stop dodging me, you know I won't let you get away with it. What's wrong? You only start skipping down the path of self-destruction when you've got something worrying you."

"Nothing is 'worrying' me," Rodney said, heat in his voice. Carson could see the quotation marks around the word he threw back at him. "Trying to make sure parts of the city don't fall down around our ears doesn't count as busy-work."

"Aye, keeping the city running is an important job, I know. But it does'na require you to run yourself into the ground. We're not in the middle of an emergency; you can afford to take a little time to ensure you stay healthy. Otherwise when we do need you at your best, you'll be collapsing and unable to do anything."

"I'm fine. I’m healthy. Thanks for your concern. Consider your job complete," he said, turning back to his laptop.

Carson put a hand on Rodney's arm, preventing him from turning around completely. "No, it's not. If you can't, or won't, see what you're doing to yourself, I will admit you to the infirmary for an indefinite period of time. You were having problems with low blood pressure, and you were shocky when you came back from your last mission, where you lost several people and nearly lost John as well. You're not handling it well, and I think you know it, too."

"I'm fine, Carson," Rodney said, finally meeting his eyes. "Just let me be, please."

"I can't do that. Your health is my responsibility. Most of the time I let you be, even when I don't agree with what you do to yourself. But I won't sit by and watch you self-destruct." He tried to put as much compassion and friendship into his eyes as possible.

"I just need to do this."

"Do what? Kill yourself? Work until I really do have to admit you because you've collapsed?"

"I’m eating and watching my sugars. I’m sleeping. I…I just need to do this, right now."

"You're not sleeping, and I'm willing to bet your meals have consisted of PowerBars." He sighed, wishing he could find a way to get through to Rodney. "I talked to Radek, and he said what you're working on can wait a bit. Come with me and sit and talk to John, at least, for a little bit. I'm releasing him later today, and I know he'd like the company, and could use the help back to his quarters, since I won't let him walk it on his own."

"No," Rodney shook his head. "I have to finish this. Elizabeth is waiting on this report and it's already late."

"I'll explain it to her and take the blame."

"No," he repeated. "I'm already in the dog house with her. I'll come by later. I promise."

Carson leaned back, shaking his head. "No, you won't. I've heard that from you before, and we both know it's a lie."

"If I don't you can take me off duty and admit me." Rodney's gaze was level.

Holding his eyes for a long moment, Carson finally nodded. "I'll hold you to that. I plan to release John at 1900, in the hopes that he'll manage to avoid getting himself into trouble for at least one more night."

"Doubtful."

"I can try." He rose, putting one hand on Rodney's shoulder and squeezing before letting go and stepping back. "I'll leave you to it, then, but I'll see you later."

"Yes, yes. 1900."

He raised an eyebrow. "A bit earlier than that might be appropriate."

Rodney sighed, nodding. "I'll do my best."

"I know you will." Carson watched as he turned back to his laptop. With another sigh, he headed back to the infirmary to check on his patients, including one bored and restless Air Force Major.

***

John resisted the urge to just get up and walk out of the infirmary. He knew that would only earn him even more days stuck here, and he was ready to crawl out of his own skin. The walls were closing in on him, and he needed desperately to breathe in fresh air.

He knew he had been getting more and more irritable, but he didn't think Carson realized just how much he needed to get out, to move.

It didn't help that he had seen Rodney for all of ten minutes for the entire week. He missed Rodney-the-friend—in the very public infirmary he knew they couldn't be anything else—but while both Ford and Teyla had come to sit with him catch him up on gossip and try to distract him from the boredom, Rodney had been almost completely absent.

He got the feeling people were keeping something from him, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what.

Carson had said Rodney had promised to stop by before John was released, but even that was looking slim now, as he saw the good doctor coming around the corner, pushing a wheelchair. Sitting up, he tried not to look too eager. "So does this mean I'm getting sprung?"

"Aye. You're still under medical care, but we can get you to your quarters at least. You're mending, but it'll take more time before you're completely back on your feet."

"Yeah, okay, but I don't have to stay in bed all day anymore right?" And no more drugs. He absolutely hated that feeling, and it didn't help that when Rodney had stopped by it had been when John was still coming down off the stronger painkillers Carson made him take at night, so he couldn't string more than a thought or two together.

"Aye, lad, you do for the most part, but we'll be cutting back on the meds for now and see how you do." Carson must have seen his face fall, since he quickly parked the wheelchair and leaned against the bed. "I know how much this inactivity is killing you, but it is the quickest way to recovery. And while I don't want to get your hopes up, I think you should know that we may be able to cut your off-duty time down significantly."

"Anything that will let me move sooner is a bonus in my book. I can't just keep lying in bed, Carson. I need to get up, move around. I'll take it easy, I promise, but at least tell me I can move around my room."

"For the first day or so, I'd rather you didn't," he said, not-so-discreetly checking his watch.

John caught the movement, and didn't try to pretend he didn't know what it meant. "It's fine, Carson. He probably just got caught up in something. Look, help me into the chair and you can fill me in on everything else I'm supposed to do or not do for the foreseeable future."

"I'll give it a few more minutes. Rodney and I had an understanding."

"It's fine. Really. I know he's had a lot to do in the labs, and they're still surveying the damaged areas from the storm, right?" And if he told himself that enough times, he'd start to believe it, too.

"Aye, the science teams are. Rodney's not."

"Wait, what do you mean Rodney's not?"

"Just what I said," he commented, his eyes shifting again to his watch as the doors to the infirmary slid open. A few beats later Rodney strode into the area, huffing a little.

"I'm here. I'm here."

John took in Rodney's appearance and felt his eyes widen slightly. A quick glance at a frowning Carson, and he wondered what the hell was going on. He hated being out of the loop. "Okay, was there an attack and no one told me? City fall apart? What?"

"What? No." Rodney looked confused. "I'm here to help you to your quarters the last I checked. Are we ready to go?"

John looked back and forth between the two men. When it looked like neither was going to be forthcoming, he sighed. "I haven't gotten my final instructions. But otherwise, yeah, I'm ready. No offense, Carson, but I need to get out of here."

"Aye, you do," Carson said, vaguely, his eyes lingering on Rodney's face for a moment longer, his expression hardening. Yes, something was certainly wrong. "As I was sayin', you need to move as little as possible the next few days. Bed rest. Pain meds every four hours—yes, it's a lower dose."

"When you say move as little as possible..." He decided to wait until he had Rodney alone to see if he could get some answers. He could always grill Carson next time the man came to check on him, otherwise. Right now, he just wanted to be free.

"That means you get up to go to the loo and that's about it."

"Showers?" Since Carson and Rodney were the only ones around, he indulged and leered a little at his lover. God he had missed touching him for a whole week.

"Short ones, yes," Carson replied, while Rodney didn't respond at all, his gaze a little unfocused.

With another sigh, John slipped out of the bed and sat in the chair. "All right then. Can I go home now?"

"Aye. I've already had one of my nurses leave your medications in your quarters along with several bottles of water. I wanted you to have a small stock so you didn't need anything. I also will have one of my staff bring you meals regularly," Carson said as he touched Rodney's elbow. The scientist's eyes focused a moment later and McKay maneuvered himself to the wheelchair, gripping the handles. "And Rodney, we will have a chat tomorrow."

"Oh, come on. I wasn't even five minutes late," he whined.

"Tomorrow morning at 0900. Consider it an appointment you cannot miss."

McKay held his eyes for a moment before nodding. "Fine."

John looked back and forth between them, realizing he was once again missing an entire conversation. "Um, hello, anyone want to tell the injured man what the hell is going on here?"

Both Rodney and Carson answered at the same time. "No."

He glared at both of them. "Fine. Whatever." He just wanted to get home, and find a way to dispose of the pills that wouldn't made Carson suspicious. There was no way he was taking them without the threat of restraints. Then he thought of something else. "Hey, am I allowed to have visitors? Overnight? You know, to keep an eye on me?"

Carson rolled his eyes. "Aye. Within reason. And nothing strenuous." He paused for a moment. "If you can be patient a few more days, we might be able to fix you right up. Just give us the time and don't do anything that can set you back. Am I understood?" This time his gaze took in both men.

"Sir, yes, sir!" John gave him a crisp salute, grinning as he did so. Dropping back down into a slouch in the chair, he looked back at Rodney. "Take me home, James."

The man scowled, but complied, pushing him out of the infirmary as Carson called after them. "And remember your appointment tomorrow. I won't be as lenient in the morning."

John waited until they were out in the hall to question Rodney, half turning in the wheelchair. "Why is Carson so pissed at you? And why do you have an appointment with him? Is everything really all right?"

"I'm fine," Rodney replied quietly. "He's being annoying because he can be."

He stayed twisted so he could watch Rodney in the short trip to his room. As soon as the door closed behind them, he was out of the damn wheelchair and slipping his arms around Rodney's waist, burying his head in his lover's shoulder. "Missed you."

McKay returned the embrace, but quickly disengaged, trying to maneuver the other man to the bed. "Carson said you need to rest."

"I've been resting for a whole damn week. I'm tired of being in bed." When Rodney's face started to darken he conceded. "Look, I'll get in bed in a minute. First, just let me..." He made his way to the balcony, throwing open the door and stepping outside.

Rodney followed a few steps behind him, hovering at the door, not stepping onto the balcony, watching.

John went to the railing, putting his hands on it to balance. He closed his eyes and just took a few deep breaths, feeling the tension draining out of him. Without turning, he called back. "Come out with me? I won't be long."

Instead of answering, Rodney was silent for a long moment, making John turn to look at him, catching his eye. "You look better," McKay said finally.

With a sigh, John went back inside, wrapping himself around Rodney again. "Carson's being over-cautious. I wasn't that bad to begin with." He looked up, taking in once again Rodney's haggard appearance. "Why don't you stay the night with me? Nothing strenuous, I know, but I've missed touching you. It'll be good for us both."

Rodney sighed and slid his arms around John in a gentle embrace. "I…I need to get back to the labs. I left in the middle of something."

He decided to play up his own need. It looked like Rodney needed a good night's sleep, and he knew if he let his scientist leave, odds were good he wouldn't get it. "Please? I'll sleep better, and you heard Carson. I need to rest."

"Resting is not what you have in mind if I stay."

"I'll behave myself." John pulled down Rodney's collar, exposing the now-unmarked spot. He kissed it softly. "Let me?"

"But I have to—"

"Rodney." John breathed in the scent of his lover, enjoying that he finally could after thinking about it all week. He licked at the spot, wanting to taste, too.

Rodney pushed him away gently. "Please, wait."

With a sigh, he let himself be led to the bed, sitting down. "What's wrong?"

"I need…" He sighed, apparently coming to some kind of decision. "I need to call Radek and have him do something for me if I’m not going back to the labs."

John knew the smile he gave at that was probably goofy and larger than strictly necessary. But he couldn't help it. "'kay. I want to get out of these scrubs and take a shower. You'll still be here when I get out then, right?"

Rodney nodded. "I'll be here."

Leaning in, John managed to steal a brief kiss before heading into the shower, grabbing a pair of boxers on the way. Rodney was right about that. If he came out naked, he didn't think they would be able to avoid a little 'rigorous activity'.

He made it quick in the shower, not willing to admit that his ribs were aching by the end. Keeping his arms above his head to wash his hair was just painful. It felt amazing to finally be clean, but he had to admit even the quick shower had worn him out.

Quickly drying off, he pulled the boxers on. He found the bandages Carson or one of his nurses had left, and started to use his good arm and teeth in an attempt to dress both his other arm and his ribs when he heard a noise behind him.

"I…" Rodney began, choking on the word.

He turned, trying to talk around a mouthful of cloth. "Wha?"

Rodney had taken off his uniform jacket, leaving him in his blue short-sleeved shirt. The radio headset was also gone. Probably the same place as the jacket. His eyes were wide, his face pale, as he stared at John's torso and the bruises John knew were there.

Letting the cloth go, John dropped the bandages and went to his lover. "Rodney? Hey, it's okay. I'm okay."

McKay was trembling under his hands even as his fingers lightly traced the edge of the dark bruise.

"It looks worse than it is, than it could have been." John had a feeling Rodney was still repressing his reactions to Gall's suicide, and given this reaction, he didn't think Rodney had considered it in the wider scheme of things. Maybe this was a good time. "If you hadn't come when you did, I don't know what would have happened."

"You would be dead." Rodney's reply was quiet, whispered.

"I probably would have taken more of a beating, at least." John got a hand under Rodney's chin and tipped it up. "If things hadn't happened the way they did, the mission probably would have ended with the same body count, just different bodies. I know it doesn't make it any easier, but Gall's actions, in a way, saved my life. Allowed you to get to me in time."

"It would have fed on you."

John debated a heartbeat, not knowing what response Rodney needed to hear. He decided on the truth, hoping it was the right answer. "He had made a lot of threats to that end, yes."

"And you'd be dead…just like Gall."

John ran his thumb along Rodney's jaw, rubbing the small of his back gently with the other hand. "Yes. But that didn't happen. Whatever you think of Gall and what he did, it allowed you to come after me, to get there in time to distract the Wraith so Ford could get close enough to get a lock on him."

"Oh God," Rodney whispered, burying his face into John's shoulder and hanging onto him, his grip desperate, but gentle.

"It's okay. I'm here. We're both safe. It's over now."

Rodney didn't answer immediately, but he did lift his head, pressing his cheek to John's, his breathing hard.

John moved his head enough to kiss at Rodney's jaw, trying to project as much comfort and safety as he knew how with his body, waiting to see what Rodney needed.

McKay leaned into him momentarily before letting go, his hands trailing down to grab John's and drag him forward, out of the bathroom. The lights flashed up, as bright as they went, and Rodney's hands moved to his body, pulling away the bandages he'd managed to wrap.

John just let himself be pulled along, pressed into the bed. He lay still as Rodney proceeded to map every inch of his skin, every line of the bruising, with his fingers and eyes. John tried not to get hard, he really did.

And through it all Rodney was muttering. The words were indistinct at first until he finally slowed and they became clear. Crystal clear. A litany of phrases, of words, jumbled together. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid….left me with him…out of your mind…stupid…what were you thinking…stupid….stupid…could have been dead…"

Gasping once he really processed the words, John forced himself to stay still. "Rodney...? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't have a choice—I made the decision I thought would keep you safe, keep him away from you."

"No!" he said sharply, angrily. "You had to play the hero. Had to be Captain Kirk."

He kept his voice low, soothing. "That wasn't what I was doing. I knew if he called for help, we were all dead. I knew if I didn't kill him, he would come back for Gall and take you next. It's my job to protect you—it's why I'm here, what my purpose is on missions. I keep you alive so you can save everyone else."

"And if I hadn't coming around the corner when I did you would have been dead! What good would it have done then?"

"It would have bought Ford enough time to get in range. He would have taken out the Wraith before it had a chance to get back to you. By the time you got there, I was just trying to keep him occupied to make sure he didn't have time to go back to his ship before the rescue party got there."

"God, you are such an idiot sometimes!"

John made an effort to keep his own temper under control. If this was what Rodney needed, then fine. "I'm a soldier. At the end of the day, I know that I might have to give my life to protect my charges, to protect you."

"Do you understand dead? Understand the concept of dead? When you're dead this," he said, reaching down suddenly to grab John's semi-hard cock in his hand, "this doesn't happen. Don’t you get it?"

Despite himself, John arched a little into the touch. "I know. Believe me I know. Death is not my first option in any situation. It's pretty damn far down the line actually, and I'll take any and all last-minute rescues anyone cares to pull out of their asses. But if it comes down to a choice between my life and yours, I'm going to protect you."

"But why do you have to be so damn suicidal?"

"I don't want to die."

Rodney's eyes were hard. "Prove it to me."

"Tell me how."

"I…I don't know," he said, his head dropping. "I just need you right now. Need to know you're still alive."

John's voice went rough. "Anything. Just tell me what you need."

"Just…please…"

Reaching up, he caught the hem of Rodney's shirt, sliding his hand underneath. "Get this off. Pants too."

Rodney trembled under his touch, but managed to move off the bed. His shaking hands untied his boots and pulled the clothes from his body until he was standing there, naked under the bright lights of John's quarters.

John watched him from beneath his eyelashes. He sat up slowly, moving to the side of the bed. "Come lie down. On your back."

A whimper got logged in Rodney's throat, but John's voice was enough to spur him into action, his eyes never leaving John's.

When Rodney was settled, John straddled him, letting his weight push his lover into the bed. In the back of his head, he could hear Carson screaming at him to take it easy, but he mentally gagged the doctor, and locked it away. Gag. Rodney seemed to like that before. Glancing around, he saw the end of one of the clean bandages that had been discarded earlier. He grabbed it, pulling it up on the bed.

“Your problem is that you’re thinking too much. We need to do something about that for a little while I think.” He watched Rodney carefully as he balled up the fabric and moved to put it in his mouth, watched to see if he wanted this or would reject it.

Rodney reached up, pulling John closer, touching lightly lip-to-lip before adding more force. He opened up beneath John, kissing him like it was new, like he was tasting him for the first time. Breathless and gasping, Rodney let go with a tentative nip before nodding once, his eyes fixed on John.

Leaning in to lick one more time across his lips, John pulled away and pushed the gag in, sitting up to admire. He wished he knew how Rodney felt about restraints. He had a feeling, given what he had seen so far, that the scientist would probably benefit from that type of play, but now wasn't the time to experiment. "Hands above your head. Grip the headboard. Don't let go." That was as good as restraining him anyway.

Rodney's eyes widened and he whimpered, but obeyed, his body trembling.

"You need to just let go, just feel. Close your eyes. Don't think."

Rodney shook his head from side to side emphatically as he groaned, the gag absorbing most of the sound.

John ran a finger along the sides of Rodney's face. "Let me make you feel. Let me remind you you're alive, I'm alive. Close your eyes for me. I won't go anywhere, but I know you. You can't stop thinking, stop analyzing. I want to help you let go for a little while."

He turned his head into John's hand, but his eyes…his eyes were desperate and locked on John.

He leaned in and kissed just above each of Rodney's eyes. "I'm not going to disappear on you. I'm not going anywhere, not without a fight. I don't think you really believe that though. Not right now."

Rodney's hands were in his hair, massaging his scalp, ruffling what he already knew was horrible bed-head.

John let him touch for a moment, then gently took his hands and pushed them back up to the headboard, but not before pressing a kiss into each wrist. "No, you don't believe it. You're afraid that if you blink, if you don't hold on tight, I'll disappear, aren't you? I'm not going anywhere, Rodney."

McKay nodded reluctantly, but his eyes told the truth. Rodney was afraid, scared, of the loss, of his own need, afraid of what he might say to John since his emotions were so close to the surface. While Rodney tended to wear his emotions on this sleeve, his words he always used as a defense, pushing and shoving people away. John knew that Rodney's words right now, might be too real, too much, revealing things that Rodney wasn't ready to say. In a way the gag was perfect, helping Rodney to keep it all in until he was ready and comfortable.

John moved off, and sat beside Rodney on the bed, giving himself full access to all of Rodney's body. John kept his touches light, and random, not giving Rodney time to anticipate what was coming next. He trailed fingers across his neck, then the inside of his thigh, moving to a kneecap, the palm of his hand. “So beautiful,” he whispered, more to himself than anything else.

His scientist trembled under him. The moans and whimpers John normally attributed to him were gone, replaced instead by noises no louder than a sigh. But his eyes. Rodney's eyes stared at his face, never varying, never glancing away.

John finally let his fingers brush against Rodney's nipples, already standing at attention and begging to be played with. Fingering them for a long while, John watched for the signs that Rodney was starting to relax, loosen up. When he finally started to see arousal replacing fear, he leaned down, pulling one into his mouth and sucking gently.

Rodney's back rose slightly from the bed before moving back down as it tried to dig into the mattress and away from the torment. But John held on, not letting up.

When he finally heard the muffled whimpers he was used to, he pulled off, pleased at the wrecked look on Rodney's face. His eyes drifted back down to the unmarked spot on his shoulder. He shifted, licking at it. "I'm going to mark you again. Shake you head no if you don't want me to."

McKay didn't move a muscle, his eyes blinking once, twice, as he waited.

Humming to himself, John sucked in the patch of skin. He spent several minutes biting, kissing, licking, and deepening the bruise, Rodney's moans a counterpoint to his own tuneless song.

A hand found the back of his head, trailing through the hairs at the base of his neck, holding him, encouraging him.

Sheppard finally let go, sitting up to admire the new mark, almost absently rolling the previously abused nipple between his fingers again. "Better. You were naked without it."

McKay's fingers walked through the hair on John's chest—one arm still high above his head—brushing over John's own nipples even as he squirmed and bucked as Sheppard teased his own.

John arched into the touch. Damn his sensitive nipples! He could feel his focus starting to fracture, as he gasped out his lover's name. "Rodney."

The man continued his play, pinching harder before John's hand finally caught his wrist, pulling it away.

"I'm supposed to be making you feel, remember?" He had to take a few deep breaths, and his body was aching to be touched now, but this was about Rodney. He needed to stay focused on the task at hand. He once more pushed the hand back up to the headboard. "You aren't supposed to let go."

There was a challenge in McKay's eyes now, a teasing that had been missing before.

John's breath stuttered, and his cock gave a hard twitch. "You are too damn hot for your own good." He trailed a finger down until he found the tip of Rodney's erection, circling it with feather-light touches.

Rodney squirmed harder, moaning as he thrust up as much as John would allow him, his eyes fluttering.

"Is this what you need?"

Rodney nodded enthusiastically, keening low in his throat.

Getting up off the bed, John went to the nightstand, pulling the tube of lube out of the drawer, feeling Rodney's eyes on him the whole time. Slowly, he pushed down his boxers, kicking them off to the side. He wouldn't be able to fuck him—not with his ribs the way they were, but he'd make it good for Rodney. With careful, deliberate movements, he slicked up a finger, holding it up for Rodney to see as he moved back to the bed. "I'm going to touch you, slowly, until you're fucking yourself on my finger."

Rodney moved, spreading himself wide, giving John access.

With a small groan, he started at the tip of Rodney's already-leaking cock, moving it slowly down, circling his balls, before moving back, finding the small hole. He brushed it once, then pulled away.

Rodney whimpered quietly and when John looked up, he noticed that McKay's eyes were finally closed.

With a gentle smile, John kept up the teasing, trailing his finger over Rodney's erection, circling his hole, but not pushing in. When his finger started to catch on skin, he added more lube, continuing with the touches he knew were too light to do anything but arouse.

Apart from John's breathing, the low moans and sighs from Rodney, and the movements as he squirmed and shifted under his hands, the room was quiet. With a mental command, Sheppard nudged the lights lower until there was just the barest hint of illumination, the moonlight and Atlantis' own glow more than bright enough for him to see, for him to feel, to touch, to mend.

Finally, when John knew he had pushed Rodney as far as he could without penetration, he slicked his finger again, letting it slide in. Rodney's body was relaxed and ready for him.

McKay's entire body shuddered once, hard, before John felt Rodney pressing down on his hand, demanding more and now.

Working a second finger in next to the first, he pushed in, crooking them once to brush across Rodney's prostate. Then he stilled them, still buried deep. He removed the second hand he'd kept on Rodney's hip, preventing him from moving. "Fuck yourself on them."

McKay's breath caught in his throat and for a moment John panicked thinking he'd swallowed the fabric, but then Rodney shifted his hips, using his legs to lift and drop his hips, the small movements enough to make John's fingers sliding in and out with every thrust.

If Rodney could speak John knew he'd be babbling. He knew the yearning and the desperation he'd hear—the same things his body was telling him now.

As Rodney slowly worked himself up and down, John slipped a third finger in, timing it so that two went out as Rodney pulled up, but three went back in.

The subsequent low growl and shudder was more than enough to tell John that it hadn't gone unnoticed. Rodney pressed down, driving John's fingers deeper.

He knew Rodney was getting close, so he put a hand on his hip again, stilling him. He pulled his fingers out, ignoring the protest from his partner and the almost desperate, tiny jerks he was making. "Trust me, Rodney. I'm not going anywhere." Adding a little lube to his other hand, he took Rodney's cock in hand before pressing his three fingers back in, feeling McKay's ass tighten around them.

Rodney's nose flared as he dragged in a lungful of air, the muscles around his fingers squeezing and releasing and then relaxing.

Moving in counterpoint, John began to stroke Rodney—firmly, slowly—his other hand fucking him with the same rhythm. McKay moaned, trapped between both of John's hands as Sheppard pushed him higher and higher.

Rodney had opened his eyes as the sweat dripped down the side of his face toward the pillow. His hands flexed above his head, threatening to move.

"Come for me."

It only took a few more twists and strokes of his hand before Rodney climaxed, his body shaking and shuddering with every pulse of his cock. His ass muscles gripped and released John's fingers.

He pulled his fingers out and dropped back on the bed, curling up against Rodney. John quickly stroked himself to completion and he slumped, boneless. Rodney's arms gathered him carefully, stroking his arm, his side—whatever he could reach.

"Mmmmmm." He lay there for another moment, enjoying the feeling of being together. He started to sit up, only to feel arms tightening around him. "Rodney?"

A muffled whimper was his reply.

John managed to turn enough to see Rodney's face, eyes watching him, gag still in place. With one hand he reached up, hooking the material with a finger, but not pulling it out yet. "Ready to talk again? Or do you still need some time?"

McKay didn't move, his eyes not saying one thing or another.

John took a guess, and moved his hand away, leaving it in place. "Tell you what, when you're ready, go ahead and pull it out. I'll leave it up to you." He wiggled a little and was prevented from moving. "I'm not leaving."

Rodney eyes questioned him for a long moment, weighing and judging before he loosened his grip.

John snuggled himself along Rodney's side, tangling their legs together and resting a hand on his lover's chest, where he idly played with the fine hair.

Rodney shifted again, pulling John closer as he closed his eyes.

John let them lie there for a while like that, listening to each other breathe. Without lifting his head, he looked up at Rodney. He moved a hand to the gag again, tracing the corners of Rodney's mouth where cloth met skin with one finger. "This has to be getting uncomfortable and I can't kiss you with it in."

Rodney didn't move, letting John make up his mind for him.

With a quiet sigh, Sheppard slipped it out and then pushed himself up far enough to capture Rodney's mouth with his. He traced the corners with his tongue and then pressed inside gently, using his own saliva to chase away the last traces of the fabric.

McKay moaned and sighed into John's mouth, battling John's tongue with his own.

John finally came up for air, resting his head back against Rodney's shoulder.

McKay shifted again, sighing in contentment, his cheek resting against the top of Sheppard's head.

John was starting to drift off to sleep when Rodney's quiet voice pulled him back.

"Dead is not a good look for you. Remember that next time."

"I will. And ditto."

"I don't do stupid things."

"No, you do brave things, like step in front of madmen with guns to protect your people."

Rodney's breath caught in his throat and he began to tense under him.

John sat up slightly. "Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to... Just, I worry about you too, okay?"

"You're the one who thinks he can live forever," McKay finally muttered, his head turned away.

"Hey." John caught his jaw and leaned in for another kiss, this one a little harder. "No worrying tonight. Just enjoy being here with me now."

"Yeah…okay," he sighed, when they broke from the kiss, before Rodney lifted his head to catch John's lips again.

They kissed almost lazily, pulling apart only to come back together again. Finally, with a sigh, John slipped back down, taking up his former cuddling position. "Missed you. Missed this."

"Uh…huh," Rodney replied quietly, the words flowing into a yawn.

Smiling against skin, John let his owns eyes drift shut. "Night..."

McKay's breathing evened out a moment later, his grip releasing as he fell into sleep the way he did everything—with full abandon.

John was drifting again when he realized they were still coated in come. Great. With a small groan, trying not to wake Rodney, he rolled out of bed. It didn't take long to clean himself up, and he moved silently back into the bedroom with the damp cloth to take care of Rodney.

The man didn't even wake as John wiped him down quickly, barely stirring. John quickly moved back to the bathroom, dumping it with the rest of his dirty clothes and returning to the bed. A half-open eye greeted him along with a questioning grunt.

"Cleaning us up. And," he scooped up the bandages from the floor, shaking a head at the still-damp one they had used as a gag, "using these in the proscribed manner. If I'm not bandaged tomorrow, Carson will have my head, and I don't want to be re-admitted. Go to sleep. I'll be back in minute." He moved back into the bathroom.

"No…" Rodney said, struggling to sit up. "I can…" He wiggled his fingers.

Pausing, John tried not to look pathetic. The evening's activities had left him aching and the thought of twisting to get the dressings right was downright painful. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Course not. Besides you weren't doing it right before." Rodney held out his hand and John dropped he bandages in his hand, grimacing as the damp one hit. "Don't you have other ones?"

"Don't know. I didn't look to see what else Beckett left for me."

Rodney groaned, rubbing a hand roughly over his face before he rose to his feet, padding across the room and into the bathroom. He emerged a moment later, gesturing John forward. "Come here."

With a quiet groan, John followed him in. "Any fresh bandages?"

"Do you actually think I’m going to put sopping wet ones on you?" Rodney shook his head as he gesturing for John to stand next to him. A few seconds later, McKay was telling him to lift his hands and bandages were being wrapped around his middle—quickly and efficiently—before being taped into place. Another bandage wound around his arm and was secured.

"There," he said. He handed him two painkillers and a bottle of water, scowling until Sheppard took them, swallowing them down. He took the bottle back, taking several sips. "Now off to bed with you."

"Only if you come too. And promise to stay until I wake up. No running off when I'm too drugged to stop you."

"I have to see Carson in the morning," Rodney said, ushering John to the bed and climbing in with him, tugging the blankets up over them.

"Oh yeah. Well, at least wake me up before you leave?"

"Maybe," Rodney said, settling himself on Sheppard's side, tangled up in his legs, face pressed into John's shoulder.

"Don't like waking up to an empty bed when I fell asleep with company." Carson had said it was a lower dose of painkillers, but John could feel them starting to kick in, his mind already starting to go fuzzy around the edges.

Rodney hummed into his shoulder, hand moving to rest on John's chest, just over his left nipple.

"...really like that." He nuzzled his face in Rodney's hair, closing his eyes almost dreamily.

McKay chuckled, low and dirty, squeezing once. "Sleep."

With a half-hearted moan, John settled in, and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

***

Rodney woke slowly, feeling warm and comfortable, still tangled together with John, the major's chest rising and falling in slumber.

It was so new and strange and there was a part of him that wished he could just stay like this forever. Reality was far harsher.

Groaning, he managed to get himself up and turned around so he could see the clock. Maybe he could stay here another few hours.

The numbers, however, told a different story.

0837

Crap!

With his heart beating a little faster than normal he managed to extricate himself from the warm bed without waking Sheppard, hissing as his back reminded him he wasn't a teenager anymore. Ducking into the bathroom he moved quickly through his morning routine. He needed to grab coffee and something to eat before he went to see Carson. And he had so much to do today.

As much as he hated putting on the same clothes from yesterday, at this point he didn't have much choice. He didn't have time to go back to his quarters and get food. And right now, food was much more important.

Stumbling out of the bathroom, he searched through the clothes, locating his boxers, pants, and shirt. He was just stepping into his pants when John shifted on the bed.

"Ro'ney?" The voice was sleep-slurred.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm so late it's not even funny," he said, walking over to the bed as be buttoned up, leaning down to over John a chaste kiss.

"'kay. See you later?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, tugging on his shirt before sitting down on the edge of the bed to put on his socks and shoes, glancing at the clock again. He had less than ten minutes.

John leaned over and fished something out of the drawer next to the bed. Just before Rodney stood up, and peanut butter PowerBar was dropped in his lap. "In case you don't have time to go eat."

"Thanks. I desperately need coffee, but I don't know if I have the time."

"Sorry, can't help you there. Meeting with Carson, right? I'm sure he'll have some in the infirmary."

"Maybe," Rodney growled as he rose, already ripping into the PowerBar, biting off a third of it as he moved over to the desk where he'd left his jacket. He chewed and swallowed, pulling back the wrapper. He shoved it in his mouth as he grabbed his jacket, swinging it around so he could shove his arms in. The sound of something hitting the floor near the bed made him pause.

"What's....Rodney?" John's voice had dropped into what McKay was fast realizing was his 'aroused' tone.

He turned, an eyebrow raised. John was holding something small in his hands and looking up at him with a very pleased and dirty smile. Pulling the PowerBar out of his mouth, he chewed the small chunk he'd bit off. "What?"

"A single-use tube of lube just fell out of your jacket pocket."

Oh! Oh, that. Rodney felt himself blushing as he strode over to John, grabbing it out of his hand. "Yes, it is. I'm glad the Wraith didn't knock any of your brain cells loose."

John's grin got broader and dirtier, and Rodney hadn't thought that was possible.

Shoving it in his pocket, he glared down at him. "I've been carrying it for a week, but it certainly hasn't done me a bit of good now has it?"

John was on his feet, pulling Rodney into a brief, heated kiss. "Your luck may be changing." He mouthed along the edge of Rodney's jaw for a second before pulling away with a sigh. "You better go before I molest you." Fingering the tube through Rodney's pocket, he grinned again. "And there is definitely molesting on the agenda."

"Maybe once you can stand for longer than three seconds," Rodney growled, his eyes glancing at the clock. "Damn. I’m late and Carson is going to be pissed."

"Go then. I'll catch you later." John snagged another quick kiss, then turned Rodney around and gave him a little push towards the door. "No sense pissing off the guy with the needles unnecessarily."

"Too late," he grumbled, glancing back and forth before heading out the door and down to the infirmary.

Carson, of course, was waiting at the door with a cross expression on his face, his eyes on his watch. "I'm here, I'm here," Rodney said, shoving the last of his PowerBar in his mouth as he came to a stop in front of the doctor.

"Perhaps I was'na clear about the time you were supposed to arrive."

"I'm overslept, but I'm here now. That has to count for something."

Carson's eyes swept up and down his body, taking in his rumpled appearance. He sighed, gesturing Rodney into one of the few private exam rooms and motioning for him to change into a gown. "Did the two of you get any sleep last night?"

"Yes, actually," Rodney replied, his chin in the air. "And what is this all about anyway?"

Carson had picked up his chart and was examining it. When he finally looked up, Rodney saw a flash of anger in his friend's eyes, before it was replaced with a cool professional mask. "You've been looking decidedly seedy this past week, not to mention your medical issues from the week prior. We're going to run a series of tests to update your records and get to the bottom of exactly what's wrong with you."

"There's nothing wrong with me and I really don't have time for this," Rodney said, already on the move to the door.

"If you walk out that door you will be removed from active duty—which means you will be banned from entering the labs or going off-world—until such time as you submit to the tests and are cleared again." Carson's voice was even, with a note of steel in it.

"Carson! What has gotten into you?" he exclaimed, turning back to the other man, feeling his eyes widening. "This is getting completely out of hand. I showed up as you ordered me to. And I was here last night as you asked. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me and I have a full slate of meetings and projects—"

"Which have all been canceled. I already spoke to Elizabeth, and your schedule has been cleared for the day. As chief medical officer, it is well within my duties to intervene when I believe it necessary. Your health is a top concern, and right now I don't think you're in as good of shape as you profess to be. I intend to do something about it."

Rodney felt his mouth drop open. "You spoke…" He shook his head. He had to have heard that wrong. "Look, this little practical joke of yours has gone on long enough. I feel fine."

"Oh, it's no joke, Rodney. You have two choices: get changed and spend the day having the tests run, or leave and remain under guard to ensure you do not work until you change your mind."

"Under guard! You're serious, aren't you?"

"Very."

He stood there staring at his friend—so-called friend right now—weighing his options. He didn't like any of them. Rodney sighed. "How long is this going to take?"

"Plan for the day." Carson's demeanor softened slightly for a moment. "This is for your own good, Rodney."

"But I feel fine."

"You lie."

"Carson! I have a very well-developed sense of self-preservation. If I felt sick I would let you know."

"If you had a hang-nail, aye, I'd hear about it. But when it comes to more serious problems, you're very good at hiding them from me. Now, get changed."

"Carson—"

"This is non-negotiable."

"This is cruel and unusual punishment," Rodney scowled, moving toward the bed as he pulled off his uniform jacket. "And I haven't even had coffee yet."

"You need to cut back on the caffeine anyway." Carson was looking at his chart again. "And this is called medical care, not torture. I wouldn't be much of a doctor if I allowed you to kill yourself and ignored the evidence of problems just because you profess to be 'fine.'"

"I don't need to cut back on anything," he grumbled, tugging off his shirt.

"That's for me to decide."

"I do know how to take care of myself."

Looking up again, Carson shook his head. "No, actually, you don't. As soon as you get involved in something, or you start to get stressed or worried about anything, your health is the first thing you begin to neglect. You only eat enough trash to keep your blood sugar from crashing. You don't sleep. You drink ten times more coffee than is healthy... Would you like me to go on?"

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest. "No."

"Don't stop undressing. The gown is on the bed. Once you get changed, hop on up."

"What happened to scrubs?"

"We need access to your body for some of the tests. This will save you from having to dress and undress all day."

"All! Carson, what are you doing to me?"

"When I said I cleared your day, I was'na joking. Since you won't give me a straight answer about what's wrong with you, I'm resorting to running every test I can think of. I want a full update of every stat in your chart, and every cell count in your body."

Staring at Beckett for another long moment, Rodney sighed. This was ridiculous, but there was no way he was getting out of it. Turning his back to Carson, he toed off his boots, unbuttoned, and dropped his pants, but kept his boxers and socks on before pulling on the gown. He hopped onto the bed.

"Are you happy?"

"The boxers will have to come off later, but you can keep them for now. Get comfortable while I go get Doctor Biro, and we'll go over everything we plan to do so you know what's coming."

"Biro? But I thought—"

"She'll be performing the bulk of the tests."

Closing his eyes, he dropped his head, chin hitting his chest. He was so screwed.

***

Staring at the ceiling, John's thoughts kept circling back to the little tube that had fallen out of Rodney's pocket.

He was carrying lube with him.

Everywhere.

And had been since that little tryst in his office.

The thought was unbelievably hot, and John cursed the Wraith and his stupid ribs that prevented him from taking full advantage of the situation.

It didn't help that being confined to his own bed was just as boring as being confined in the infirmary. Finally tired of the view from the bed, John hauled himself up, ignoring the protests from his body. It was a good thing it was a nurse scheduled to check on him this morning. He had a feeling Carson would be pretty irritated with him for not strictly following orders.

Opening the balcony door, he dragged his desk chair outside and eased himself down, leaning back and closing his eyes. It was good to taste fresh air.

He sat like that for a while, drifting, when he heard the faint whoosh of air moving that meant his front door had opened. Without opening his eyes, he called back, wanting to let the nurse know where he was.

He heard footsteps move through his quarters until they stopped at the balcony door. "Are ye daft man? What part of bed rest did you not understand?"

"Carson!" John sat up too fast, and his ribs protested. "Um, hi. Yeah, I was in bed, but I couldn't lie there anymore. I brought a chair out instead of standing. That counts for something, right? What happened to Nurse Patty?"

"She's busy and I thought it would be advantageous for us to have a little chat before we went on a little trip."

"Chat? A trip?" John remembered that Rodney said he was going to see Carson this morning. He felt the blood leave his face, and the room started to spin a little. "Oh my God, Rodney, what's wrong with him?"

"We're going to find out exactly how's he's doing today—in great detail," Carson said quietly, a smug smile on his face. "Why don’t you come inside so I can give you a quick check while we talk?"

"You...what?" John started to stand and had to catch the railing to keep from falling over. "Carson?"

"Daft man," he grumbled, helping John inside and to the bed.

He let himself be gently laid back down, where he closed his eyes for a moment. "What's wrong with Rodney? You keep alluding to things, and I know he was heading out to meet you this morning, but no one will tell me what the hell is going on."

Carson sighed as he lifted John's shirt, cutting through the bandages. An odd look passed over his face before it settled back down into the professional doctor's mask he wore. "He wasn't exactly taking good care of himself while you were in the infirmary and was being a right beast to just about everyone. We had an agreement last night that he broke. I'm choosing to be lenient with him."

John grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, setting it on the bed beside him to give Carson the access he needed. "He was having a hard time dealing with Gall's death, and I wasn't around to prod him into talking, so that doesn't surprise me. I took care of that last night, I hope. What agreement did he break though? And what do you mean you're being lenient?"

Sighing as he examined John, Carson shook his head. "I don't like this bruising," he said absently, his touch light. He sat back, looking down at Sheppard. "Rodney and I chatted yesterday afternoon about his health, his work schedule, and his substantial lack of visits to the infirmary to see you—and keep you out of my hair. He promised me that if he wasn't there last night at 1900 I could admit him into the infirmary as I saw fit."

John felt his eyes go wide. He tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down. "O…kay. Wow. So you...he's been admitted to the infirmary? For how long?"

"I don't know yet. I'm still a mite concerned about the incident from the other week. I'd rather check everything once again and made sure he's okay—even if it's just for my own peace of mind. And the daft fool needs to learn to take better care of himself. He's not in this alone anymore. He might not be admitted, but right now he's getting a complete medical check and will be with Doctor Biro all day."

"Oh." John yelped as fingers were suddenly pushed into his side, testing the bruise. "Ow! Carson!"

"Oh, sorry. Did that hurt?" he asked, innocence on his face. "And what did I tell you about last night?"

"Yes, damn you, it hurts. And I tried to take it easy, but Rodney was hurting. You said yourself he's had a rough week." John tried to curl away from the still-probing fingers, but was jerked back into place, his arm and the gunshot wound there now getting similar treatment.

"Did you think I told you those things just because I wanted to hear myself speak?"

"No—ow! I know you meant it." He finally pulled away and managed to get off the bed, backing away from the advancing doctor. "What's with you today?"

"Between the two of you, you're going to give me a heart-attack or nervous breakdown, you know that, right?" Carson sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I dinna mean to hurt you more or to take my aggravation out on you. But, if you were willin' for a little trip, I may be able to fix you right up."

John wrapped his arms around his abused side and eyed his friend and doctor warily. "I don't know, are you gonna stop poking me?"

Carson's mouth twisted in a small smile. "Aye. And you may even be able participate in much more vigorous activities tonight if this goes as well as I think it will."

"Really?" Pain forgotten, John stood straight. "I thought this was going to take weeks to heal? What changed?"

"One of the good things Rodney managed to do this week," he said, gesturing to the wheelchair Rodney had left in the room last night. "He's been investigating some of the damaged areas of Atlantis and stumbled across a clinic of sorts that has some interesting equipment—including something that helps to knit bones. Radek finally finished his examination of the device and I was thinkin' ye might be interested in having a go for a test."

"What are we waiting for?" Grabbing his shirt off the bed and yanking it on over his head—wincing a little at the movement—before plopping down into the chair. "The faster these are healed, the faster I can get moving again."

Carson chuckled, but started pushing John out the door. "Now, I think this will do the trick, but you are volunteering for an as-yet-untested Ancient device. You know that, right?"

"As long as there's no chance of it turning me into something else, or lopping off any limbs, I'm willing to give it a shot if you are."

"Aye, no chance of that," he said, moving into the transporter. The emerged in a dark, damp section of the city a moment later and Carson began trudging along, Zelenka popping his head out of a room a moment later.

"You are right on time, Doctor Beckett," he said, gesturing them forward.

"So what exactly is this thing supposed to do?" John eyed the large machine as he was wheeled in.

Carson helped him up, settling him on the bed. "It scans the patient to determine the injury. Once it's diagnosed it, I have a few options as to what I want to be done. In this instance I'm going to ask it to repair the breaks in your ribs. It might be a wee bit uncomfortable since it is repairing bone. The bruising, though, will have ta go away on its own."

"All right. So expect some pain, and I'll still look like someone got the better of me in a fight. I can handle that." John laid back and tried to get comfortable on the hard bed.

"Just lie still. This part shouldn't hurt at all," Carson said, standing off to the side at a console, double-checking the attached PC tablet.

"Yes," Radek said, leaning in and pointing. "See here and here." He nodded again as Carson's finger moved. "Yes, yes. That first and then you will get a follow-up screen. You have it right."

Carson nodded, glancing over at John before hitting the screen.

John felt the whole bed slide into the main part of the machine, and a bright light flashed around him for a few seconds. When it dulled again, he could hear Carson and Radek chatting near his feet.

"Yes, see here," Radek was saying. "It gives you a real-time…and here are your options."

"So I just select one?"

"Yes, yes. You have several…huh. I did not believe the device capable of that."

"So this will take care of some of the nerve regeneration as well?"

"Seems like it may," Radek said a moment later. "The choice is yours."

"Major," Carson called a moment later. "How are you doing"?

"Dandy. What did it tell you? Is it going to fix my ribs?"

"Aye, and some of the nerves in the area that were damaged. It may hurt a tad bit more, though."

"Does that mean no more bruising too?"

"Nae. The bruising will remain."

"Hey, can't blame me for trying. All right, fire it up and let see what this thing can do." John wiggled a little in the confined space.

"Remain still, Major Sheppard," said Radek, his voice closer. "Doctor Beckett is preparing now."

"You got it, Doc." John consciously relaxed his muscles and closed his eyes, waiting.

"Here we go, Major," Carson said a moment later. "It should only take a few minutes. Please alert me if something is not as it should be."

The lights came back on, and John released the air in his lungs. It hurt, but not as bad as when the Wraith had broken them in the first place. He tried to force himself to breathe through it, not really aware that he was quietly whimpering on each exhale. After what seemed like hours—but was probably really only minutes—the light went out again, and the bed moved back out of the machine. John didn't move at first, still trying to catch his breath. He felt a light touch on his arm.

"Major?"

"Ow."

"Aye, I'm sorry about that, had I known—"

"Nono, it's fine." He sat up slowly, and after a few tentative movements with almost no pain—the bruise was deep enough that when he probed it with his fingers, it twinged, but it was no worse than he had gotten training. He felt a huge grin light up his face. "Wow, it really worked!"

"I'll make the final decision on that once I get you back upstairs and checked out to my satisfaction."

John hopped up off the bed, bouncing a little on his toes. "God, it's good to be able to move. A week of enforced stillness was pure hell, no offense."

"Major! John…" Carson put a restraining hand on him, but his smile was wide. "Please humor the doctor for a while yet."

He forced himself to be still, but the need to move left him almost shaking. He hadn't realized just how much he was always in motion until he was told he couldn't be anymore. Grinning, turned his attention back to Carson. "If you think you're getting me back in that chair for the trip upstairs, you're nuts."

Beckett scowled, but nodded. "Fine. Let's get you to the infirmary and give you a check. I need to take a look at how your arm is healing, too."

"I suppose jogging back would be out of the question? It would be good for you, Doc. Keep you fit." John grinned at Radek, who was shaking from the effort of holding in his laughter behind Carson.

"Major!" he exclaimed, gesturing John out the door. "Radek, thank you for your help."

"Yeah, thanks, Radek! Great job!" John bounced a little as he waved, laughing when he saw Carson scowling at him again.

"Let's get you to the infirmary so you can go and pester other people," Beckett said, moving to the transporter, the doors opening when he activated the panel.

"Right behind you. So does this mean I'm cleared for active duty again?" John stepped into the transporter behind Carson.

"Depends on what I find out," Beckett replied after pressing the transporter location closest to the infirmary.

"Let's get to it then." As soon as they arrived, John was moving again, stretching his legs. When they rounded a corner, he immediately started looking around for his probably cranky physicist. "Where's Rodney?"

"Getting tests done," Carson replied vaguely as he weaved through the infirmary toward the larger scanners in the back.

"Where? I want to check on him since we're here, and show off the new ribs." He grinned again.

"Let's get you sorted first."

"Right. Where do you want me?" John was aware he was bouncing on his toes again, but he couldn't help it.

Carson held back a smile and gesturing to the scanner. "Have a seat, Major, and let's get a good look at you."

John sat on the bed and swung his legs up, still bouncing one foot. "How long will this take, do you think? To check me over?"

"As long as it takes," Beckett said, going over a few things on the monitoring screen. "Lay down for me, please. Head toward the wall."

"But pretty fast, right?" John positioned himself as requested.

"It will take what it will takes."

Forcing himself to ground and center, John half-closed his eyes, willing himself still. "How long are you going to keep Rodney here?"

"Until we're done with the tests," he said absently as the scanner began to hum. "I have to check with Doctor Biro to see how far along she is and how cooperative he's been."

"Wait, you have Biro doing the tests? Man, you must have really been pissed at Rodney."

Carson's voice was tight. "Keep still, Major."

"I'm trying, Doc. Getting anything? How's it look?"

"If you stop fidgeting I'd get a better reading," Carson commented with a sigh. "But it looks like the bones are as good as new."

"So I'm good? Active duty?" John tried to sit up, banging his head on the top of the scanner. He quickly laid back down, trying once more to force himself to be still.

"Major…John…please, be patient. I know you're anxious to get back to your normal routine, but I need to make sure that machine didn't do anything to harm you."

Sighing, John nodded, although he knew the doctor probably couldn't see it. "I know, and I'm trying here."

"Aye, I know. Give me a few more minutes under the scanner so I can get a proper reading and then we'll look over your arm. Then, if everything checks out, you'll be free to go."

"Oh yeah, I guess I forgot about my arm. You haven't found any machines to repair gunshot wounds yet, huh?"

"I only wish."

"I'll bump that to the top of the wish list."

Carson was quiet for the next few minutes as the scanner continued to work, humming away. John could hear the clicking of the keys of the attached keyboard as he finished his work. "Aye. That's good. Alright, Major, let's move to one of the exam beds now."

John moved as he was directed, once more pulling off his shirt at Carson's gesture. "So?"

"This seems to be healing well."

Shrugging with his other shoulder, John tried not to wince at the prodding. "I've always healed fast."

It took another few moments before Carson finally stepped back, gesturing for John to put his shirt back on. He scribbled notes in John's chart as he spoke. "I'm going to release you on light duty for the next few days. You're off the mission schedule until the end of the week."

"Deal!" John jumped down, grinning. "That means I can get back to my normal routines here in the city right? Just no off-world missions?"

"Yes. I'll let Elizabeth know." Carson offered a smile. "I appreciate you're willingness to be a guinea pig for me. And if you want to look in on Rodney, you can go up to the observation level of iso room one. You won't be able to talk to him, but you can see how he's doing."

"Why can't I talk to him? Carson, give me a straight answer here. Is there really anything wrong with him, or are you just pissed at him and teaching him a lesson?"

Carson's face hardened again and John knew he had to have hit a nerve. "I don't want him giving Biro a hard time and he will if he knows you're up and about."

"That's not an answer. Aside from anything else, McKay is a member of my team. I need to know if there's a problem."

Carson sighed, but his expression was closed, tight. "It's a combination of things. He is due for his annual, so this will take care of that. And as I mentioned before, the issue you brought up still has me worried. I'd rather do a complete check and rule out everything—just to be on the safe side. And yes, the git hasn't been takin' care of himself so this will remind him that particular course of action brings consequences—especially when we aren't under an immediate threat."

John watched Carson's face carefully, finally nodding slowly. "And Elizabeth agreed with you, I'm assuming, since that's the only way you could have cleared his schedule for an entire day."

"Aye. We canna afford to have him at anything less than his best."

They made their way to the observation room and John stepped next to the window, looking down on his lover. Rodney looked decidedly miserable. Biro was no where to be seen at the moment, so John assumed she was probably off preparing the next test, or finishing up the last before moving on. He glanced over at Carson, who was also looking Rodney over carefully. "How much longer do you think this will take?"

"I dunno know. I've been with you most of the day. I'd have to check his chart."

"Can you find Biro and ask for me? If he's got the day off, and I'm still not really cleared for anything..." John let the sentence trail off, the little tube of lube Rodney had in his pocket earlier jumping back to front and center, especially now that he could do something about it.

Carson rolled his eyes. "I'll be right back."

Grinning John nodded, his eyes not leaving Rodney. It only took a few minutes before Biro was walking into the room, saying something to Rodney. John heard Carson return to his side. "So?"

"She still has a slew of tests left."

He turned to the doctor. "Necessary tests or punishments?"

Carson bristled at that, standing straighter. While John knew Beckett meant well, in this instance it seemed to be more about Carson proving a point to Rodney than anything. And the Doctor's defensiveness made it even clearer—in John's eyes at least. "I'll have you know, Major, that I would not make up tests and examinations just because the bloody git is annoying. If that were the case, I'd have the lot of you in here on a daily basis."

John sighed as he leaned back against the wall, trying to be casual and non-threatening. But if there were no real medical reason to the tests anymore, Sheppard didn't see the point of keeping Rodney all day. From the look of things, it seemed that McKay had gotten the message Carson was sending loud and clear. "I wasn't implying that. I just wanted to know if these were part of the slew of things you really needed to check, or if Biro had moved to the point where Rodney's getting tested to remind him that you have the power to do so if he doesn't take care of himself."

Carson's eyes flashed with anger and with what John thought was a little bit of guilt before his gaze slid away. "Major Sheppard, I'd recommend you take your leave now before either of us says something we both regret."

John's eyes widened at the use of his title. "Carson...I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Do you think this is fun for me, trying to keep the lot of you healthy and in one piece when you insist on not taking care of yourselves and putting yourselves in constant danger?"

Shaking his head, John reached out, laying a hand on the doctor's arm, trying to let him know that he understood and he was sorry for everything they put him through. "I didn't mean it that way, and I don't envy you. At least we have some control over what happens in the field, you and Elizabeth both just have to wait to hear what happens. I just wanted to know if I could take Rodney sooner. If last night was any indication, some of what you think is 'off' with him might be mental more than physical and I might be able to help with that."

Carson looked at him carefully for a moment before nodding slightly. "Rodney did look a mite bit better this morning, I'll grant you that." He paused again, seemingly coming to a decision. "You can come for him in another hour. We'll be done with the major tests by then."

John let his hand fall, and turned back to stare at Rodney. He could still feel Carson's anger under the surface. Damn it. He couldn't even manage to let someone close enough to be called a friend without managing to push them away almost effortlessly. "Mind if I wait here?"

"How you spend the time is up to you," Carson said, already moving to the door.

"Carson... For what it's worth, I am sorry."

"I am too, lad. Should I send someone to let you know when he's ready to leave?"

"If you wouldn't mind." He grinned almost shyly, trying to regain some of the good mood they had both lost after his question.

Carson shook his head as he headed out the door, leaving John alone in the observation room.

Sheppard found one of the larger chairs and curled into it, forcing himself into some semblance of rest. He knew Carson still wanted him to take it easy, and he hoped this would be taken as the peace offering it was. He didn't realize he'd actually managed to doze off until a light touch started him awake. "Wha?"

"If you want ta see Rodney, you can go. I’m sorry it was longer than an hour." Carson's voice was quiet, kind.

"S'ok. I guess I was more tired than I thought. Everything okay?" John shook himself slightly, the last of his nap falling away.

"We have to wait for some test results to come back from the labs so I'll be spending most of the next day or two going over the test results, but everything looks fine from my initial glance."

"Good. I'll try to make sure he doesn't backslide. Has he behaved himself, or did he give Biro a hard time?" Sheppard stretched, standing quickly, and couldn't help the grin when the movement didn't cause any pain.

"She only threatened him twice in six hours, so I'd say that's a record."

Chuckling, John followed Carson out the door and around the corner. "Are you sure he's really feeling okay? Maybe he needs a few more tests."

"If I need to run any other tests it'll be later in the week. And as for how he's feeling, why don't you ask him yourself? He's not back on duty until tomorrow morning."

John shot Carson a grateful look. "Next time I visit the mainland, I'll make sure to pick up some extra tea I know you like. We're running low on it here, aren't we?"

"We're running low on a lot of things, John. Just…be careful."

"Yeah, but tea, at least, I can do something about. Especially for the guy who makes sure we all get patched up again."

Carson paused just outside the door to the iso room. "This section is cleared for the next thirty minutes."

John knew his grin took on a faintly dirty tone. "I'll make sure you get two boxes of tea."

"Keep in mind that you're still injured."

"Deal." With another grin, John opened the door and slipped inside, noting that Rodney was still sitting on the bed, his back to the door. He obviously thought it was Biro again, if his irritated tone was any indication.

"What will it be now? Maybe my big toe? I don't think you've done anything to that yet."

"Well, it is a pretty nice toe, and that's a kink we haven't tried yet, but personally, I was hoping for something a little further up."

Rodney whirled around, his eyes wide. "Major? What….what are you doing here? Does Carson know you're here? Shouldn't you be in bed resting? And what do you think you're doing? We're in the infirmary!"

John grinned, not moving close enough to touch yet. He bounced a little on his feet, holding his arms out so Rodney could see what he was doing. "Carson fixed me."

McKay shifted on the bed, pulling his leg up, so he wasn't all turned around, adjusting the hospital gown. "What do you mean he fixed you?"

"One of the machines you found in that second med lab knits bones. I was the test subject. I still have the bruising—that'll have to fade on its own—and the gunshot wound, of course, but the ribs are healed." John pulled his shirt over his head, letting Rodney see as he continued to move, free of pain. He finally got near the bed, and almost absently fiddled with his dog tags.

"But you look worse than you did last night!"

"Just bruising. It doesn't even really hurt. The ribs are back where they're supposed to be. And we have thirty minutes before anyone comes looking for you."

Rodney's eyes widened even further, his voice dropping as he pointed up. "We're in the iso room, you idiot. Anyone could be looking in from upstairs."

"Carson made sure no one does. He cleared the area." John walked over to where Rodney's clothes were folded on a chair, and fished out the little tube, slipping it into his own pocket before moving to hop up on the end of the bed. "How many tests did they run on you anyway?"

"I lost track after ten and I have no idea how many more Carson has planned." He sounded so miserable.

"He told me you're done with tests, but you're still off-duty for the rest of the day." John started to stroke small circles on Rodney's ankle.

"I…I am?" His eyes dropped down to John's hand, a shy smile on his face.

"As a matter of fact... And wouldn't you know it, I'm still on leave until tomorrow, with a brand new pair of ribs to break in." John grinned, increasing the pressure of his hand a little on each down-stroke.

"Oh."

John ran his hand up Rodney's leg as far as he could reach from his position—not quite to the knee—then back down again. "Yeah. Oh."

"Thirty minutes?"

"Well," John glanced at his watch, "Twenty now." Sliding off the bed, John moved to stand closer to Rodney, reaching out to run a hand along the back of Rodney's neck. "That's enough time to get started."

"Get started? If you start something and don't intend to finish it—"

"Oh, I'll finish it. Eventually." John dragged his thumb along the nape of Rodney's neck, echoing his earlier motions.

Rodney groaned, leaning forward. "We don't have enough time and I'm not exactly dressed appropriately…unless of course you have some strange kink for medical wardrobes."

John leaned in, letting his breath tickle along Rodney's jaw, but not close enough to kiss him. "For you I could make an exception. And who says we have to finish what we start here? The thought of you walking down the halls of Atlantis trying to hide how hard you are, knowing your BDUs are brushing up against your cock with every step, making you want to pant with need until we get somewhere private, that's pretty hot."

McKay turned his head, following John's lips. "I think you're evil."

John fished the tube of lube out of his pocket, keeping his lips just out of reach of Rodney's. He dragged the cap of the little tube along Rodney's arm. "You'll have this in your pocket, knowing that in only a matter of minutes it will be open, my slick fingers teasing you, making you squirm."

"Why are we doing this here and not someone more private?" Rodney slid his arms around John, shifting on the bed so he was sitting with both legs hanging off the edge, pulling Sheppard into the space between.

"Because getting you riled up then making you wait is almost as much fun as the sex itself." John grinned, finally giving in enough to plant light, nibbling kisses along Rodney's neck.

"Now see, if we intend on continuing this somewhere else, me being able to actually walk down the hall is an important factor in the whole plan."

"I have faith in your abilities. Mostly because you'll know sex—hot sex that leaves you breathless and boneless—is waiting at the end. You'll manage to walk, and when we get somewhere more private, you'll still be hard and leaking for me." John was walking a thin line—he wanted to dominate, but Rodney was still too new to this. He watched him carefully for signs that this wasn’t okay. He didn't want to push him away. He wanted Rodney to enjoy this, want this.

"Oh, god," Rodney groaned, leaning in, breathing into John's ear.

With a dirty chuckle, John pulled away, Taking Rodney's hand, he put the little tube in it, and closed his fingers around it. "Why don't you get dressed, and we can see how well you do?"

Rodney's eyes dropped to his hand and John could see the scientist's arousal jump dramatically. "Oh, God, you are trying to kill me. And are you sure I'm allowed to leave? I can't bear another day trapped in here if I piss Carson off again."

"I already cleared it with him. I owe him two boxes of Athosian tea next time I make a run to the mainland." With a smile he knew was more that a little naughty, he reached out, stroking Rodney through the gown lightly.

McKay moaned and tried to move forward to get more pressure, more contact, but John backed off. "Oh, come on!" Rodney complained.

"Not yet. We don't have time for that here, remember?"

"I'm sure you can take care of me nice and quick."

"But what fun would that be?" John got in another light stroke before dancing out of reach. "I want you hard and leaking, not soft and sated."

"Well, you've managed that quite nicely right now," McKay growled, trying to tug John closer again.

"Then I guess its time for you to get dressed and we can get out of here." John leaned in to lick a stripe along Rodney's jaw, swirling his tongue around his lover's earlobe before pulling away completely, walking back towards the door. "I'll wait for you out here."

"Sheppard!" he hissed, his hand heading toward his groin.

"Don't touch it." John let his voice take on a slight note of command. "I'll take care of it in a little bit, I promise. Right now I want to you to wait, and believe me, it will be better when you do finally get release."

"God…" McKay groaned, although his hands did stop. "Come on, Sheppard—"

"Trust me, Rodney. Stay nice and ready for me as we walk out of here. Think of me touching you as your pants rub against the whole length of you. Think about my mouth soothing any chafing there might be."

Rodney groaned again, his head dropping, chin landing on his chest.

Grinning, John reached the door. "Hurry up and get dressed. I'll talk to Carson and double-check that we're both good to go."

John glanced back just before the doors closed seeing Rodney sliding carefully off the bed. If he could just stay on this side of his lover’s comfort zone, they’d be good.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet as he walked, John found Carson in his office. "Hey, Doc, I'm taking Rodney and we're getting out of here. That okay, or did you need anything else?"

"Doctor Biro's done for now. We might need a few follow-ups, but I can take care of that later in the week." He paused, glancing at John, a slightly sheepish expression on his face. "I take it everything went well. Rodney happy about your…progress?"

John felt his grin widen. "I think he was moderately pleased, yeah. And don't take this the wrong way, but if we meet anyone in the halls, I'm telling them Rodney's walking funny because he's been here all day in the hands of Biro."

Carson chuckled loudly, shaking his head. "Go already." Just as John was going to walk out the door, he called out again. "Oh, and Major?"

"Yeah?" John turned back, one eyebrow going up in question.

"The science teams have cleared out the section of the city Rodney and Radek checked out. They're more or less focused on the medical clinic, but I did clean out several of the rooms down there, just in case I needed staff or patients to stay."

"Okay. Thanks for the update. Hopefully we won't need the extra space."

"Actually, you may want to check out the area yourself. There are some large living quarters there. The third room down the main hall has been fully stocked and you may find it to your liking." Carson offered an apologetic smile.

John felt both eyebrows go up, a wide grin splitting his face as he got what Carson was telling him. "Four boxes of tea. And thanks."

"Keep a radio on just in case."

"I always do." With another wide grin, John turned to see Rodney walking carefully toward him. "We're all set. You ready?"

"Please tell me we're going somewhere close," Rodney hissed.

"I thought we'd take a bit of a walk, check out that new section of the city." John got them moving in the right direction, curious to see what Carson had set up.

"The new section?" he squeaked. "But it's on the other side of the city, a long walk away from anything!"

"We'll use the transporter for part of it. Think happy thoughts."

"I'd forgotten Radek got that up and running and if I think any more happy thoughts we'll have a problem."

"It'll be worth it." John nodded at a Marine walking by, murmuring about the infirmary and tests when he looked oddly at Rodney. The other man winced and moved away quickly, obviously not wanting to draw the Wrath of Rodney.

They were silent the rest of the way, Rodney moving carefully, slowly, as John's smile grew broader as they got further away from the main section of the city.

As they rounded a corner, he glanced around, making sure no one else was around. "Still happy?"

"Uncomfortable is more like it."

John put a hand on the small of Rodney's back. To anyone observing it would look like he was helping a sore and possibly injured friend but it allowed him to work his thumb just under the hem of that blue science shirt and rub it across the small sliver of exposed skin there. "Have I steered you wrong yet?"

McKay shivered. "No, but—"

John leaned in, dropping his voice to a low whisper, making sure it looked like he was just sharing a joke or a quiet observation—even though no one was around now, it didn't mean they couldn't run into someone accidentally. "As soon as we get there, I'm going to pull you out and taste you."

Rodney stumbled and groaned, curling over slightly. "Please tell me we're close."

Grinning, John let go, looking around. "Carson said it was the third room in the section. So it should be pretty close."

"'kay," McKay said, pausing, one hand against the wall as John scouted ahead, ducking into the room in question.

The room was located on the edge of Atlantis and overlooked a small section of the city and water. At first glance, John figured it had to have been one of the original family quarters with a sprawling main room and attached bathroom—complete with a large tub and shower with a window looking out. The main attraction—at least for John—was the bed. It was huge.

And Carson had been less than forthcoming. He said it had been cleaned and stocked, but he hadn't mentioned with what.

The bedclothes had been freshly laundered and the small kitchen area had a fridge with water and assorted food. From the looks of it, everything had been added today.

On the bedside table was a standard clock—calibrated for Atlantean time—and inside the drawer were assorted things: lube and some fabric and leather items.

Carson, it seemed, was due far more than just some tea.

John took a minute or two to check things over before dragging Rodney inside.

"Here. This is it." John took his arm and steered him through one of the doors, locking it with a mental command as soon as they were through.

Rodney's eyes widened as he took in the area. "It wasn't like this before."

"Carson is trying for sainthood. He apparently takes his duties as Atlantis Yenta very seriously." John really, really wished they could just move down here permanently.

"How did he even have time…?"

"I have no idea, and I'm not going to ask." John pulled Rodney towards the—Huge!—bed, tugging at his jacket as they went. "Off. You need to be naked now."

"Oh, so now he's in a hurry," Rodney snipped, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't say I was going to make you come soon, I said you needed to be naked." John grinned, stripping his own shirt off, but leaving his pants on for now.

"You know, I can take care of myself right quick," Rodney said, but his eyes were on the bed.

"Why would you want to do that, when this way you get my hands all over you?" John pulled Rodney's shirt up over his head, making sure he brushed both nipples on the way up.

McKay groaned, clutching onto John's hips with both hands, visibly trying to calm himself.

With a husky chuckle, John got to work on Rodney's fly, getting it undone and the BDUs pushed down quickly. With a short push, Rodney was on his back on the bed and John yanked off his shoes, socks, pants, and boxers, standing back up to admire the view. Panting, hard, needy—this was a good look for McKay, and he told him so.

"Stop looking and do something already," McKay demanded, eyeing John hungrily.

"I'm savoring."

Rodney laid his head back down, his hand moving to stroke himself, spreading the pre-cum on his cock, arching into his hand. "Enjoying the show?"

John hissed in a breath, moving to the bed and pushing Rodney's hands away. "I thought we agreed I get to do that."

"You were taking too long."

"You always want to go so fast. I like it slow sometimes. Let it build, until the pleasure is pooled in your stomach, your cock aching for just one touch." He wanted to show Rodney just how amazing it could be that way.

"I'm an impatient man."

"I've noticed." John found a nipple with his mouth, his hands still holding Rodney's down at his sides. Sheppard just licked at the tips, not giving his lover what he was craving. Yet.

Rodney groaned loudly, arching his back as he tried to get more contact, but John only pulled back. "Oh god! Come on already!"

"Why don't we see what goodies Carson left for us?"

"Goodies?" he said, eyes wide as John crawled off the bed. Rodney shifted onto his side, still panting, his cock heavy and dripping as Sheppard opened the drawer.

"Carson is a kinky bastard." John held up the items making sure Rodney saw what looked like a blindfold, a pair of soft leather cuffs, and some other silky material in long strips, several of them. The lube he pulled out and put within arms reach. "I never would have guessed."

"Oh….dear." Rodney eyes were wide. "What are we supposed to do with all that?"

John wavered between a dirty smile, and an affectionate one, and he guessed he probably ended up somewhere in between. "I'm assuming you know how a blindfold works. These," he held up the cuffs, wondering where the doctor had gotten them. They seemed to be the same material the Athosians used in most of their clothing. "Are for tying someone's hands. The fabric can be used for lots of things. Sensory deprivation can be a lot of fun, but only if both people are into it."

"But…" Rodney shook his head a little. "Why would Carson have left that?"

"Well, as far as toys go, these are generally the easiest to get and explain. I never would have pegged him for being into this sort of thing, but hey, you just never know." John fingered the inside of one cuff, liking how soft it was. God, these would look amazing on Rodney.

"You like them?"

John heard a note of something in Rodney's voice, but when he looked up, the scientist was hiding his emotions. John knew he needed to walk carefully here. He wanted to teach Rodney about full submission—he knew it would be good for both of them—but he didn’t want to push him too far too fast. But honesty about this—and right now—was imperative. "Yes. I've used them, and had them used on me. Like I said, sensory deprivation, when all you're left with is what you can hear and feel, is pretty intense. But it's not for everyone. I know that."

"Last night was intense."

John crawled back over to Rodney, cupping his face. "It was. And it was amazing."

"Last night…the fabric…"

"Yeah? If you didn't like it, that's okay."

"I…" His eyes dropped. "I'm not sure. I think I did. For me not to be able to express myself, to talk…but with you, it's different."

John fit his body along Rodney's side, trying to offer comfort without pushing this towards sex. That was coming, but he had a feeling Rodney had something he needed to get out first. He set up a chant of ‘go slow, don’t push him’ in his head. "That big brain of yours never really stops. Sometimes I think you need a way to let go, shut down for a little while and let someone else take care of you. That's not easy, and it's not, strictly speaking, necessary. But I knew you were having a rough time, and last night was one way I knew I could take you out of the loop you had locked yourself into. That's really what things like these are about—freeing you up to just feel."

"How did you know…how can you tell that it was the right thing?"

"I watch you. I've been watching you for months, since we got here. I just didn't realize it until recently. So I know your reactions, your expressions. And I was watching you in bed, for signs that something either was or wasn't working for you."

"And what do your observations tell you about me?"

John got up on his elbow so he could see Rodney's face. "That you're brilliant, sexy, a little insecure. You enjoy having a dominant partner, but only in the bedroom, and even there, it scares you a little. You've never been…cared for to this degree, and I think that scares you a little, too."

Rodney kept his eyes down, his hand coming up to rest on John's hip, finger trailing along the edge of his pants, lightly grazing the skin. "It was like…like you knew exactly what I needed," he said quietly, the words whispered. "Knew exactly what I wanted…even more than I knew myself."

"I pay attention to the things you don't say, the way your body responds to me." John swallowed, wishing he could find the right way to say this.

"But we just…" Rodney picked up his hand, waving it a bit before it found it's way back down to John's body, skimming over the skin above his hip. "I've never thought about sex in terms of topping, bottoming…anything like that before this, before you."

John felt himself flush a little. "I like sex. That's the one part of a relationship I'm pretty good at. I like making the person I'm with come apart, know that I'm the one giving them that. If you want to be good at something, you have to, you know, practice, think about it, experiment."

"I'm a scientist. I know all about experimentation."

John blushed a little more. "I might have done enough of it to know what I like, and how to please my partner. And also to be fairly adventurous, since once I let myself get into it, there's not much that doesn't turn me on. Pain is out, but other than that, I'm open to anything you want to try."

"I…this is so…strange and amazing that I'm convinced sometimes that it's not really happening, that it can't be happening," Rodney said, his hand venturing higher, beginning to move through John's chest hair. "But then I look in the mirror and your mark is on my skin…"

McKay took another breath, but John waited, knowing that Rodney needed this time, needed to talk to himself in a way, work through his insecurities.

"I…I really don't know what I like or don’t like, but I think I might be willing to…experiment…to find out, with you. If that's okay."

John smothered the gasp as Rodney's fingers brushed his nipples, and the words penetrated. "It's okay. I actually really like that you don't know what you want. It means I get to be the one you experiment with. And yeah, I'm willing to try anything you want."

"I don't know if it'll last. I don't even know what I'm really getting into or what might happen. It's so strange. I…I don't trust myself with some things, but I think I trust you with this…with me." Rodney lifted his eyes, finally meeting John's gaze.

"I won't hurt you, not intentionally." John leaned in, pressing a kiss to the side of Rodney's mouth. He was acutely aware of the power Rodney was giving him, and of the responsibility that came with it. "And I have no intention of going anywhere."

Rodney turned his head, meeting John's lips with his.

John kept the kiss soft, gentle, pulling away again to look at slightly wary, but very aroused blue eyes. "So you tell me. We have the rest of the day. What are you comfortable with trying?"

"I…"Rodney's eyes dropped to the pile of stuff on the bed. "I don't like a lot of pain."

"No pain. I don't really see the point of it. Marking you is about the only time I'll ever intentionally inflict it, and only with your permission." For now. Hopefully eventually Rodney would just accept marks whenever and wherever John wanted them. For now he was claiming that spot. He skimmed his fingers across his mark, noting that Rodney's pupils dilated slightly as he pushed on it.

McKay hummed a little, eyes fluttering as he leaned into John. "We have a long time, don't we?"

"Today specifically, or together in general?"

"Today. Tonight."

John smiled, letting his fingers ghost over Rodney's skin, not really touching anything specifically, just enjoying the contact. "It's about 1600 now, we don't have to be anywhere until the staff meeting at 0830 tomorrow morning."

"Lots of time."

"Yeah."

"We're going to need food at some point though otherwise my blood sugar will do something horrible."

"What would you like? Carson took care of that too." John grinned at the incredulous expression on Rodney's face. "I told you, he apparently takes his job seriously. In the kitchen, there's a variety of food, and I think I might have seen some coffee."

"Wow." He paused starting across the room before turning back to John. "And, I don't need anything now. Biro did feed me."

"Oh, good. I was wondering if I was going to get abandoned for sort-of hot dogs and nearly mashed potatoes." John shifted, laying down on his back and loving that he didn't have to worry about falling off. His pants were feeling a bit tight after all the teasing and the little chat, but it wasn't unbearable at the moment.

Rodney sighed, his fingers finding their way back to John's chest, walking through the hair and grazing over his nipples. "If I don’t like something…"

"Then we stop, and don't try it again." John pushed his chest up a little, seeking more contact with the questing fingers. This was the sticking point. He knew he would have to go slow, make sure Rodney knew what was coming, and ask permission before doing anything new. His geek needed that reassurance.

McKay complied, tweaking John's nipples a little harder. "But I won't know if I like or don't like something unless I try it. Right?"

"R...right. Experimentation. That's how I...mmmmmmm....discovered what I do and don't like." Now his pants were getting uncomfortable, and he shifted his hips a little to try and ease the pressure and focus back on what Rodney was saying.

"Okay."

"Okay what?"

Rodney's lips twitched in a half smile. "Okay, let's experiment. We have the time, the equipment, and the motivation."

"Oh, God..." John moaned, the thought of all the things he could do with Rodney, the places he could take him. Pulling his mind back from all the kinky depths it immediately plunged to, he focused, enjoying the somewhat tentative leer his lover was attempting. "So, what sounds interesting?"

"Right now, just about anything."

Closing his eyes for a moment, John did a quick tally of everything they had and what Rodney had seemed comfortable with so far. "Why don't we try the blindfold then? We'll leave your hands free so you can take it off if you don't like it."

"Okay," Rodney said, leaning in, licking his way into John's mouth.

Moaning, John opened up, letting Rodney control the pace of the kiss for a while. When it started to get a little more desperate, he took over, gentling it and bringing them both back down before breaking apart, rolling them both over until their positions were reversed. "I think I'm overdressed for this party."

Rodney panted against his mouth. "You seem to like having me naked."

"It's a good look for you."

He blushed, moving to kiss him again, but John leaned back.

"Pants. They need to come off now." He sat up on his knees, making quick work of the buttons and pushing both BDUs and boxers down as fast as he could before lying back and pushing up his hips to slide them the rest of the way off. His dick practically wept with relief at being freed from its fabric prison.

"Now you know how I felt."

"It's amusing and hot when it's your dick getting teased."

"Just remember that for the next time you decide to rile me up and do nothing about it."

"Hey, I had every intention of blowing you as soon as we walked through the door, but we got a little distracted." Sitting back up, John snagged the lube and blindfold from the table and shimmied up Rodney's body. "You can call it off any time. I've always thought safe words were a little silly—if you want to stop, just say stop or take it off, all right?"

Rodney looked up at him, his eyes wide but clear. "I…I trust you."

With a swallow, John privately hoped he could live up to that trust, make it as good as Rodney deserved. Nothing like performing under pressure. With slow, easy movements, he reached around, tying the blindfold in place. He waved one hand in front of Rodney's now-covered eyes. "Can you see anything?"

McKay's lips twisted in a crooked smile. "No. Wasn't that the point?"

"Just making sure." John took a second to look his fill. He decided to get Rodney used to touch without warning, and began to trace patterns over his body, choosing random places and varying the pressure.

At first McKay jumped, but slowly he began to relax, humming as John touched and stroked his body, moaning when Sheppard hit a more sensitive spot.

Once Rodney had melted into the mattress, John moved to his nipple, starting further out, drawing slow, lazy circles that got smaller and smaller until he finally reached the nub, flicking it lightly when he could no longer circle.

Rodney arched into his touch, his moans interspersed with words and phrases. "Oh god…more…feels so good…more, please more…" His hands reached out, finding purchase on whatever part of John he could touch, stroking and caressing.

Smiling even though he knew Rodney couldn't see it, John gave the other nipple the same treatment as the first, this time bringing his other hand into play, letting it caress at will wherever he found a tempting patch of skin.

The pleading moans continued as Rodney squirmed and shifted, his cock hard, red, and leaking, demanding attention.

John finally took pity on him—he hadn't been very nice to Rodney's cock today so far. He shifted down the bed, making sure not to touch so his lover wouldn't be able to anticipate what was coming. Then with one smooth motion, he swallowed Rodney down, humming softly as he did.

"Shit! John!" Rodney yelled, his back curling off the bed.

Smiling around his mouthful, John sucked a few times, then pulled off, swiping the head with his tongue as he did. He reached for the tube of lube, and managed to get the lid off without making a sound, doing his best not to move too much or touch again. He wanted to get Rodney to just feel, stop anticipating.

But Rodney wasn't cooperating, his body tensing a little as he waited, as he tried to figure out what John was doing.

"So far so good?" He splayed a hand wide on Rodney's hip, giving him something to anchor to for a minute.

"Yes, good, good," he replied, purring a little. "You're driving me nuts."

"That's sort of the point." Grinning a little to himself, John moved to straddle Rodney's legs, settling a little, and beginning the soft, random touches again, this time including his lover's weeping cock in the festivities.

With him on Rodney's legs it cut down on some of his movement, but it seemed as if it just made Rodney squirm—or try to squirm—more. He moaned and sighed and pleaded with John to go faster, to give him more, to "do something, damnit."

Chuckling a little, John managed to get his fingers lubed up without alerting Rodney that he was doing it. He timed his movements, sitting up on his knees and getting between Rodney's instead of on top of them, to go along with Rodney's own movements, taking it slow. So when Rodney's legs spread and he lifted his hips a little in an attempt to get some friction, John dove in, pushing one finger in to the second knuckle without stopping.

"Oh!" McKay said, breaking off as his body shuddered at the intrusion before he started bearing down on John's hand.

John let Rodney move for a moment, then withdrew his finger, running it up the length of his cock before pulling away.

"Oh come on!" Rodney complained, reaching down toward Sheppard or to his cock, John wasn't sure. They were both in the same direction.

Laughing, John caught his hands and pressed a kiss into each palm. "It wouldn't be as good for you if I just blindfolded you then fucked you. We'll get there."

"You should think about actually fucking me then….and soon, otherwise I can't be held responsible for what I might do."

"Hmmm, maybe you should tell me what you're thinking. I always like to weigh my options." As he talked, John got more lube, and slipped two fingers in, this time holding Rodney's hips down with his other hand so he could set the pace.

"Oh god! That feels so good….more…come on. Move damn you, move….and if you don't get with the program and soon I'm going to have to take things…..oh god…ohhhhhhh….into my own hands."

"No, you won't. You'll threaten, but in the end you know it feels better when I do it than when you do." To prove his point, he crooked his fingers, pressing hard on Rodney's prostate before going back to easy, slow movements.

"Oh….John…come on. I need to come." Rodney's hands clutched at the blankets before heading southward again.

"No touching. You'll come soon, when I'm buried so deep inside, you'll think you can taste my dick."

Rodney whimpered. "I don't know if I can wait."

"You can." Taking pity on him, John slipped a third finger in, making sure to avoid his prostate so as not to tempt fate. When he was pretty sure Rodney could take him, he withdrew his fingers again, slicking himself up.

"Oh god…please…it hurts….I need to come…please…" Rodney was panting, sweaty, and needy.

With a soft moan of his own, John pushed into the welcoming heat, not stopping until he was completely sheathed. "So tight, so good..."

"So full….feels so good," Rodney said, moaning in pleasure as his fingers dug into John's hips, his legs wrapping around him, pulling him even closer.

Knowing both of them were close, John abandoned slow and sweet, and went for harder and faster, hitting the sweet spot on every down-stroke. "Come now. Rodney..."

It only took two more strokes and Rodney was coming hard with a loud moan, spurting all over their chests and clamping down on John's cock as it continued to pump into him, as John rode the aftershocks of Rodney's orgasm.

It was almost enough, he was so close... John continued to thrust in and out, feeling Rodney go limp underneath him until finally, finally he was coming, hard and deep and hot and oh god so good. He managed to pull out and roll to the side as he collapsed. "Rodney..."

Even limp and blindfolded, Rodney was able to roll over, attacking him with kisses, diving in for a deep one as John tried to catch his breath.

Groaning, John tried to return the kiss, but his body still wasn't cooperating. He managed to break away and bury his face in the crook of Rodney's shoulder, still panting. "So, can we count Experiment One a success?"

"Hell, yeah," Rodney said, breathing in John's ear, sucking the lobe before tonguing his ear, his hands stroking and rubbing everywhere he could reach.

Groaning, he couldn't help arching into the touches, his dick making an attempt to rejoin the fun, but it just wasn't up to it quite yet. "Oh God, yes... Rodney...."

McKay chuckled, low and dirty, before moving back to John's mouth, kissing and licking as if it were the best thing in the world.

Sheppard knew he was making soft, needy noises by the time Rodney let him breathe again. He noted absently the blindfold was still on, and he reached out to slip a finger across it. "You could molest me better without this."

"Leave it."

Dropping his hand, John arched again as clever fingers found a nipple and twisted. "Okay. Sure. Whatever you...whatever you say."

Rodney laughed again, lips pressed to his jaw. He slid down John's body, licking and kissing his collarbone before settling on his left nipple. He started slowly, tenderly, working precisely only with his lips and tongue.

By the time Rodney pulled off with a pop nearly five minutes later, John swore every nerve was twanging.

Sheppard was only vaguely aware that he was hard again, unbelievably so. And he was talking, although it wasn't really coherent, consisting mostly of begging, pleading, moaning, and comments on how amazing it felt.

Rodney sat up, his hands running over John's body as he slid further down. One hand found John's cock and began rubbing and stroking. A minute later, though, something changed and Sheppard opened his eyes, watching as Rodney lowered himself onto his cock, McKay's hands holding him steady.

"Rodney? What are you...? Oh Shit!"

Rodney laughed again, but once he was fully seated, his hands began stroking John's body again, learning every curve, every part. They lingered on his nipples and played with his tags and the hair on his chest. But he didn't move.

John panted, trying to thrust up, but he was held firmly in place. "Oh god, please, move, Rodney, please..." He arched his chest at the play, nearly sobbing with need.

"You feel so good. Do you know that?" Rodney began to say, his voice quiet as his hands continued to move, to caress. "You make me feel so full. I can still feel your come in me from the last time and I know it won't be long until you fill me again."

John's hips attempted to thrust without his conscious decision, but once again he was held down. He heard a high-pitched whine, and realized after a moment that it was coming from him.

"Problem?"

"Rod..plea...." Shit, he couldn't even form complete words.

"You see," Rodney began, his hands continuing to stroke. "I think you're going to have to do something if you want the status quo to change because right now," he said, his muscles squeezing John's cock, "I'm not planning on moving."

Another whine escaped his lips, and John attempted to buck up, only to be pushed down again, Rodney's weight advantage coming into play. Normally he could have flipped them and had the other man on his back, but right now, in this position, he was helpless. "What... what do you...please..."

"Not bad for a blindfolded, overweight, scientist, eh?" Rodney was far too smug for his own good.

"Never...I never...underestimated...you..." John tried to buck again, but was stopped when Rodney clenched around him, drawing out another pant-whine.

The chuckle was very dirty. "That's not working, is it?"

"Fuck...me...already." John tried to reach for Rodney's cock, to make him speed things up, but at the first touch, his wrists were grabbed and pulled away.

"Do you think you can come just like this? Pinned to the bed with your cock up my ass? What do you think, John?"

The thrust attempt was entirely involuntary. "Fucker. Bastard. Move already. Need you to move..."

"Nope. Perfectly happy right here."

With a growl, John tried to pull his hands free, thinking maybe he could tweak his own nipples and just come already. He was so hard it hurt, buried in that tight, hot, wet....

Rodney hands released him. "Come for me, John. Come on. I want to feel you."

Moaning, John reached for Rodney instead. "Touch me. Please, Rodney... touch me..."

Hands touched him, stroked his sides, his chest, but avoided his nipples. "Come on. I know you can do it. I want to feel you fill me."

With another whine, John tried to twist his body to get contact where he wanted it. "I need....Please..." His own fingers found Rodney's nipples, and he pinched one, trying to show his lover what he wanted, needed.

Rodney shuddered and clamped down on John's cock, losing some of his smugness. "Oh….crap…" he said, breathing heavy, panting. His hand finally pulled John's free before moving back to touching John, circling his nipples before finally taking them both in his fingers, rolling and pinching and tweaking.

"Come in me. Please. Let me feel you."

With a low cry, John obeyed, the sensation enough to put him over the edge. He felt like his brain was pouring out of his dick, and the world went white around him before all his muscles went limp. "Oh...God...broke me..."

"Better not," Rodney chuckled as he lifted himself off John, laying down along his side, his hard cock poking into John's hip. He settled down, his head on John's shoulder, his hand absently playing with his dog tags.

"Mmmmmmm."

"About time you got some of your own medicine."

"Anytime." John turned his face toward Rodney. "Gimme a sec and I'll help you out with that."

"Whatever. It'll keep for now."

For a few minutes John just laid there panting for breath, until the soft clinking of his tags sliding together through Rodney's fingers penetrated. It was surprisingly hot, although his dick told him in no uncertain terms it was not coming out to play again for a while. "Attracted to shiny things that make noise?"

"Shiny. Yeah, I guess they are, aren't they?" Rodney hummed, shifting again, and John could feel the fabric of the blindfold against his skin.

"Forgot about that." He ran a finger along the fabric, but didn't try to take it off. Instead, he reached around with his other hand, stroking Rodney's leaking and thus far neglected dick.

"It's fine and that feels very good."

With a grin—he had been so right, once Rodney allowed him to remove a sense, he really got into it—he picked up the pace and pressure, pulling his lover closer to orgasm.

Rodney moaned, his fingers dropping the tags as he thrust into John's hand.

Adding a swipe across the head on each stroke, John knew Rodney was getting closer, so he caught his lips in a kiss, pushing his tongue in, fucking Rodney's mouth in time to his strokes.

McKay moaned into John's mouth, opening up under him. A few strokes later and he was coming—hard and fast—as John swallowed his moans, his hand gentling him through the end of his orgasm.

"Wait here, I'll be right back, okay?" John stretched along Rodney's side and then pulled away gently. He had seen some washcloths in with the supplies, and some small grape-like fruit. He had a vague idea of feeding them to his lover, blindfold still on or not.

"'kay," Rodney mumbled, completely loose-limbed, sprawled on his back in the middle of the bed.

When John got back, he grinned to see Rodney in the same position. He had already cleaned himself up, and he made quick work of doing the same for Rodney. Then he took a grape and brushed it across his lover's lips. "Hungry?"

"Hmm?" he replied, but opened his mouth, allowing John to press the grape in a little as Rodney bit it, sucking in the rest a moment later. "That was good. What was it? And if we're done for a while can we get under the blankets?"

Chuckling, John set the bowl aside long enough to get Rodney covered, pulling the blanket up over his own legs so he could still sit up. He pressed another grape-thing to Rodney's lips. "One of the fruits we traded for from Brendal's planet. He's a bastard son of a whore, but his planet has good fruit."

"Yes. Good fruit," Rodney agreed, his hand reaching out to rest on John's thigh.

He alternated feeding Rodney and himself until the bowl was gone, cuddling down into the bed and draping his body across Rodney's until their limbs were tangled together.

"Naptime?"

"Oh yeah. And round two later."

"Sounds good." Rodney sighed contentedly. "And the blindfold thing…good idea."

"Glad you approve." John kissed the patch of shoulder his head was resting against. "You do know you can take it off whenever you want, right?"

"But I don't have to, do I?"

"Nope. You're kind of like a freaky sex god when you wear it, so I think it's going to the top of my favorite toy list."

Rodney chuckled, the sound vibrating through his body. "It's just…it's hard to explain. Right now it's like all there is is you, and you're everywhere."

John leaned up to dive in for a kiss before settling back down to cuddle. "You really are amazing, you know that?"

He could feel the flush as it spread down Rodney's body. "Well, I am a genius," is all McKay said.

John's smile turned into a yawn. "I think you actually managed to burn off all my excess energy. Wow."

"I hope not for the rest of the night. I was kind of hoping for a little more experimentation."

"A quick nap, and I'll be ready to go again when you are."

"Wake me when you're ready."

Humming a vague response, John shifted closer, letting his limbs go heavy and languid. As he drifted off to sleep, he couldn't help but wonder what he had done so right to get such an amazing reward.

***

Rodney woke slowly, lazily—his eyelashes grazing against the blindfold—to the feeling of someone sprawled over and around him and a single finger making patterns on his chest.

Mmmm.

He could get used to this.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." The voice was low, still rough from sleep, so John must not have been awake long either.

"Hey," Rodney said quietly. "I don't remember the last time I actually napped."

"I'm a big fan of naps. If we ever get back to Earth, I'm taking you to this little out-of-the-way beach in Hawaii. My favorite thing to do there is surf for a few hours in the morning, then lay on the warm sand and nap all afternoon."

"You nap on the beach? Do you even consider the risk that poses?"

"The risk of getting stepped on? It's pretty out of the way. All the years I've been going there, I've only ever seen three, maybe four, other people there at the same time. It's kind of sheltered, so you don't get the big waves like on some of the other beaches, so most people don't bother with it."

"I'm talking about UV exposure! And knowing you, you probably don't even wear sun block. And I won't even begin to go into the whole standing on a piece of wood in the middle of shark-infested waters."

Rodney felt Sheppard's laughter as much as he heard it. "I do actually wear sun-block when I'm out there—no desire to look like a lobster, thanks. And the sharks don't come in that close to shore. It's a lot of fun. I'll teach you sometime."

"And while as amusing as you actually attempting to teach me something like that may be, right now I should probably visit the little boy's room."

McKay felt John's laughter again, and the hand disappeared from his chest. The bed dipped slightly as John laid back down next to him. "You might enjoy it. I know you'd like the nap part. There's a corner with a few palm trees that gets morning sun to warm everything up, then is shaded in the afternoon. That's the best spot."

"That's all well and good, but that doesn't help the pressure on my bladder right now, and that actually requires you to untangle yourself from me."

With a huff, Rodney felt John's limbs slowly unwind from his, until the other man's warmth was gone. "Go ahead. I think I'll just stay here and enjoy being able to stretch out."

Rodney stayed in place for a long moment, knowing he needed to get up—his bladder was screaming at him—but that also meant he had to take off the blindfold and part of him just didn't want to.

When John had first taken out the items…goodies from the bedside table, Rodney had felt a small hint of fear and excitement. He'd never played like this with anyone and the thoughts of losing one of his senses was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

John had already taken his ability to speak away from him—twice now—and it had been amazing. How had Sheppard known it was exactly what he'd needed that night?

His emotions has been right at the surface—scared that he nearly had lost John and afraid at the intensity of his own feelings. That night he would have spilled his soul without a second thought—the words real and needy—words he wasn't quite ready to tell John until he was certain about everything. And right now, in the heat of the moment, it was too soon.

But when John gagged him…it was as if he already knew what Rodney was going to say.

But with the blindfold, it was different.

With his eyes covered all he could do was feel. His world was reduced to the things he could feel and hear and sense, intensifying everything until his entire world was John. Touching, caressing, holding, fucking, licking, kissing.

Here nothing mattered except John.

Here he didn't have to hide.

Here he couldn't couch his words, change his reactions to what he thought John wanted to see or hear. Instead, all he could do was simply feel and react, letting John play his body like a musical instrument.

Here just felt right.

"Rodney?"

"Yeah?" He could feel John's eyes on him.

"I thought you were going to the restroom? You haven't moved."

"I know and I do." He sighed.

Rodney felt a finger tracing the edges of the blindfold. "Means you need to take this off. Otherwise, it could be difficult."

"I don't want to, though."

A deep chuckle rumbled next to him. "Good to know this was a hit. But you can always put it back on later if you want."

"I know." Rodney huffed and sat up, the blankets falling into a puddle in his lap.

McKay felt John's hand move to his back, rubbing circles. "If you really don't want to take it off yet, I could probably help you out."

Part of him balked at the thought of Sheppard helping him pee—he wasn't a baby—but another part knew John didn't mean it in that way. Sheppard was offering because he wanted to, because he was trying to make him happy and comfortable. It still didn't mean Rodney wasn't surprised by the offer. He never expected the man would want something like this—this closeness, this kind of relationship—with him.

"You would?"

"Why not? It's not all that hard. I'll lead you to the bathroom, and you don't have anything I haven't had my hands—among other things—all over. I don't mind if you aren't ready to take this off yet." A finger dragged lightly over the cloth.

Rodney felt John sit up next to him and it was like he could see the man even though his eyes were still covered. Rodney leaned in, brushing the corner of John's mouth with a kiss before adjusting and pressing down directly on target.

"Mmmmm. You always taste good. Like coffee, and chocolate and some sort of Essence of McKay." Rodney felt John scoot to the edge of the bed, and then there was a hand in each of his, pulling gently.

"Are you sure?" McKay asked, moving to the edge of the bed and allowing John to pull him up.

"Of course. The question is, are you?"

Taking a breath, Rodney nodded. "I do have to pee."

Another chuckle, and one of his hands was dropped. John pressed himself against Rodney's side, wrapping an arm around his back as they started walking. "Right this way then. Let's take care of that little problem."

Rodney stumbled a little, overcompensating and tensing, trying to lead when he knew he was in no position to. Habit. "Sorry, sorry."

John stopped them for a moment, and a warm breath on his neck was followed by a quick kiss. "I won't let you fall."

"I know," Rodney said, absently waving his free hand. "Just habit. I'm always trying to get ahead of myself." He took a deep breath, nodding. "Okay. I'm trusting you not to walk me into any low tables. I value my shins."

"Awww, and here I had a master plan to run you into things so I'd have an excuse to kiss it better. You suck all the fun out of life, McKay." The tone was light, and as they started moving again, closing the short distance to the bathroom, they avoided all furniture and other obstacles.

Rodney could feel the cool tile of the bathroom under his bare feet as John maneuvered them inside. They stopped and John slid behind him, arms circling around him, hands gentle on his hips as he moved to his cock.

Rodney felt John take him in hand, positioning him. "All right, any time you're ready."

"No pressure," Rodney chuckled, leaning back against John's solid body behind him, relaxing the little amount he needed.

Sweet relief!

When he was done, Rodney felt John clean him up, gentle and careful, those long, skilled fingers making quick work of the job. Then he was being led back the way they had come.

"Better? And are you hungry?"

"Better. Thank you," Rodney said. "And, surprisingly no. Not hungry."

His legs bumped the edge of the bed, as John pulled him to a stop. "There you go, back safe and sound, no bruising, bumping, or tripping. Thanks for flying Sheppard Airlines, we hope you join us again soon."

Sitting down gently, Rodney leaned his head back, angling his face up toward where he thought the still-standing John would be. "I might have to."

Rodney felt the bed dip as his lover sat and crawled up next to him. "Any time. We aim to please on Sheppard Air."

"So, what other services does Sheppard Air offer?"

"We're a pretty open-minded organization. If you request it, we'll do our best to fulfill it. Our specialties, however," Rodney felt light touches running down his sides, "include making our customers gasp, pant, moan, and beg."

"Ahh," Rodney said, shivering at the feather-light caresses, his body starting to respond, his heart beginning to speed up. "And how are they about special requests that may involve some experimentation?"

"I think we could work something out for you. You are our best customer after all."

"And only customer."

"Which makes you the best by default."

"Well," Rodney said with a light shrug. "Genius and all." He turned, pulling his legs up on the bed to get them off the cool floor. John paused as he moved before resuming his stroking and touching after they'd settled once again. "Have anything in mind?"

"That's my line."

"I asked first. I know there's still stuff left and I'm sure we have some time."

"Well, we have those strips of cloth, and the cuffs. We've tried gagging you before, and we know you like it, but I'm enjoying being able to kiss you, and I want you to be able to tell me if you don't like something."

"That sounds reasonable," Rodney nodded, enjoying the feeling of John's hands on him, wanting more, but also grateful that John was so understanding. "How about you have a little fun?"

"I am having fun, but what did you have in mind?"

"Your hands on me. That's about as far as I've gotten."

"My hands are already on you." John flicked a nipple before resuming the soft caresses.

Rodney shivered and moaned, leaning into the touches. "Yes. I've noticed that. And…why don't you just try something and see where it goes?"

"All right, scoot further up the bed." John's hands left his body, and the bed dipped, indicating he was already moving.

Rodney scowled. "You might want to be a little more specific in regards to direction. Are we aiming for the middle of the bed? Toward the foot, toward the head—"

"Straight back until I tell you to stop." He could hear the grin in John's voice.

Holding back the urge to roll his eyes—there was no point if John couldn't see it—he started moving slowly, feeling the rumbled blankets under his sore ass. He scooted a few inches at a time, trusting John not to send him over the edge. It was a big bed, but still.

"All right, that's good. Lie back down, on your back for now."

"Yes, sir," he quipped, leaning back and finding his head on one of the pillows.

He felt the bed still for a moment, and then John's voice sounded rough. "Right. Okay, here. I'm going to put the cuffs on your wrists. For now I'm not going to tie them to anything, I just want you to get used to how they feel."

"Okay," Rodney said nodding as John began to move again. He could feel him next to him and lifted his hands offering them to John, who took a deep breath. "John?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? I'm not doing anything wrong, am I? If I am, just tell me and I'll stop."

"What, no!" He felt a caress along his face—John had a real thing for running his thumbs along his jaw-line. "I just can't believe you, how fucking incredible you look. And, ah," another caress, "you keep falling into traditional sub positions and saying things like 'sir'. If you could see me right now, you would probably laugh at how much I want to devour you."

Something flared inside Rodney's chest, warming him. "So show me."

"Oh God..." It was a whisper, and then there were lips on his, diving in, tasting, claiming his mouth.

Rodney moaned, wrapping his arms around Sheppard, pulling him in tight. He could feel the cuffs sitting on the bed next to him, just touching his side where they'd been temporarily abandoned. This was…amazing.

Rodney waited until John slowed down and pulled back, offering the other man a lazy smile, licking his lips. "I could do that all day."

John groaned softly. "Keep saying things like that, and this won't last very long."

Rodney laughed. "I just tell it like I see it."

"You can't see anything at the moment. If you could, you would be able to see that I'm so hard right now, I'm leaking. I had to use one of those cloth strips as a make-shift cock-ring to keep from coming too soon."

"Oh…" Rodney felt himself blush, but his curiosity started to get the best of him. "Can I…can I feel it…you?"

"Oh fuck..." John's voice had dropped down an octave, but he let Rodney sit up. Taking Rodney's hand in his own, John guided it to his dick. Rodney could feel the slick pre-come at the tip, and as he moved down, his hand encountered smooth fabric, obviously tied fairly tightly, the ends presumably hanging down between his legs.

"You're…wow…this is because of me?"

Rodney could feel John's muscles trembling as he ran his hands along his cock, liking the transition from skin to fabric. "Oh...yeah..."

Wow.

Taking his hands off of John's cock he held them up toward the other man. "I think we got side-tracked again."

Another groan, and he felt kisses pressed into his palms. "You are killing me here." After a moment, soft leather encircled each of his wrists.

John hands were firm as he tightened the laces and tied them off near his pulse-point, his fingers checking to make sure they weren't too tight before finalizing the knots. Rodney flexed his wrists before running his hands over the cuffs as the leather warmed to his skin. Several strands hung from the cuffs, the extra length from the laces, Rodney realized.

John's fingers joined his, and he felt the other man finger the extra length. "When you're ready, these are used to tie the cuffs together. Then I'll use one of the cloth strips to secure them to the headboard."

"They're softer than I thought."

"I wonder where Carson got them? They were made for this sort of thing, not retro-fitted—they were designed to make sure there's no chafing or cutting into the skin."

Rodney chuckled, a random thought coming to mind. "Maybe they're his."

"Don't even go there. They're ours now. There's something about sharing sex toys that is just wrong, wrong, wrong."

This time Rodney laughed. The cuffs were very comfortable, just like if John held his wrists—warm and firm without being too tight. "That is something I don't need to know about, but these laces are going to get in the way."

"The cuffs are meant to be laced together. We can work around them for the moment, then tie them together later if you want to see how it feels."

"Well, I didn't think that we were just going to leave them like this," Rodney said, the urge to roll his eyes even stronger. "Just…we're good. Let's just keep going."

Rodney heard John suck in a breath. "You really are trying to kill me." The fingers that made quick work of the laces, pulling his wrists together snugly, were trembling just enough that Rodney could feel it.

"John?"

The voice that responded was a little breathy. "Yeah?"

Even with his wrists bound together, Rodney managed to grab John's hands, holding them tight. "You're not going to break me. If I don't like something I will tell you. Just…enjoy yourself and have fun. Sex is supposed to be fun, right?"

A warm mouth dove in and claimed his for a moment. "I am having fun. I just can't believe you're letting me do this. I keep expecting to wake up and realize it's all an alien-drug-induced dream."

"If that's the case then we're sharing one hell of a hallucination."

"We could make a fortune back on Earth. Sell the Amazing Sheppard-McKay Fantasy Drug." John had pulled Rodney's hands up, the warm, wet tip of his tongue dipping in around the edges of the cuff.

Shivering at the sensation, Rodney chuckled low and dirty. "There's no way I'd sell it. I'd keep it all for myself."

"We'd never get anything done. Become addicts wandering the halls of the city with hard-ons all the time."

"Are you sure we don’t do that already?"

"Good point."

Rodney felt teeth graze his wrist where leather and skin met. "Like them?"

"They look amazing on you."

"Tell me how they look."

"The leather is a light brown, and it sits snug up against your wrists, contrasting nicely. The laces are a bit darker, and run up the insides. Where they're tied together, your hands are crossed, relaxed." John continued to nibble his way around the cuffs and into Rodney's hands, licking kissing and nipping between words. "The taste of the leather mixed with your skin is intoxicating. You look like a Christmas present, all tied up with the really fancy ribbon and waiting under the tree, begging to be opened."

Who knew John could be so descriptive, so amazing? "Well, I'm not begging yet."

"Yet being the operative word. I'm not ready to make you beg—yet."

"So you have plans?"

"I always have plans."

"I just hope this is one of your good plans, because right now bad plans would suck."

The inside of his wrist, just above the cuff, was suddenly pulled into Sheppard's mouth for a second, before being released. "Oh, I don't know. I'm a big fan of sucking."

Rodney released the breath he'd been holding. "I…yeah."

"Sucking is such a versatile thing—you can suck fingers," Rodney's pinky was engulfed in hot and wet, before it was gone again, and John was back to talking. "You can also suck earlobes," John followed suit, treating Rodney's ear the same way he had the little finger. "Nipples..."

"I get the picture," Rodney said, realizing that the cuffs did have one problem. He couldn't actually move his arms to let John suck his nipples without clobbering Sheppard in the head.

"I think you need to get on your back again, hands above your head."

"You think?" It was fun to bait the man just to see what he'd do.

A groan answered him. "Killing me. On your back, McKay."

Rodney's lips twisted. "Make me."

Not being able to see had a few disadvantages. Since he couldn't see Sheppard's face, he hadn't been able to see the mischief that must have been there, and so wasn't expecting the sudden tackle, his body pressed down, hands above his head, with one very aroused Air Force Major stretched out along his body.

Rodney squirmed and shifted, trying to see if he could dislodge Sheppard, managing to rub their cocks together instead, sending a shudder through his own body.

"There, much better." McKay felt the pressure increase on his hands, pushing them down into the mattress. "If I let go, will you leave them there?"

"Maybe."

"Leave them. Or I could always tie them…"

"I'm surprised you haven't yet. You know how impatient I can be," he said, thrusting up and enjoying the panting above him as their groins ground together.

"Fuck..." He felt John shimmy up his body and then his hands were shifted. A moment later, John's hands disappeared, and when Rodney gave his wrists a tug, they were held firmly in place. John had moved back down his body, and was using the soft caresses on his chest again. "Okay?"

"You! You actually tied me to the bed!"

"I told you I would. Now I can play without any distractions."

Rodney tugged a few times, getting the feel for it, realizing he had very little room to move. There was something so…

With his heart speeding up, Rodney felt his mind slowing down. He had no control over this. John was here. He'd be fine. John would make sure of that.

McKay tugged again at the bindings before finally sinking back against the mattress, letting his body relax.

"Rodney?" John's voice and touch were soothing. "You need to tell me this is okay."

"This is very okay," he finally said after a long moment, his voice breathy as he nodded slightly.

Rodney felt and heard another chuckle. "Good. You have no idea how good you look. I thought you were amazing with just the cuffs on, but tied to the bed..."

"Tell me." Rodney tugged a little again, instinctively going to touch John, the bonds holding him down. "I need to know, want to know, what you see."

"If you were a Christmas present before, now you're one of the ones with the really expensive wrapping paper, little lights on the tree reflecting off it to make you almost believe it's glowing, sacred. You're all stretched out for me, on display, and I can have anything I want, touch anything I want."

Rodney groaned, using his foot to touch John, the only thing he could do really. "Anything you want, John."

"You're like flying, and Ferris wheels, and fast cars, all rolled into one, and I don't know where to go first, what I want more."

"Just touch me, please."

Warm hands were on his sides then, moving up and down, running all over his body.

Rodney moaned, arching into his touch, trying to get more contact, more sensation. It was like every nerve of his body was on fire where John's hands passed over him—too much and not enough at the same time.

He felt John shift down his body, and for a moment the heat disappeared. Before he could protest, John was settling between his legs, and then a wet stripe was licked up his cock, from base to tip.

"Oh crap!" He yelled, his lower body bucking upwards as he quieted, his voice now a whimper. "Don't stop. Oh god. Don't stop."

A dirty chuckle was his only response. As Rodney was opening his mouth to complain, beg for more, his balls were suddenly mouthed, being pulled in and rolled around on John's tongue.

This time when he bucked and groaned, John pulled off completely. "I'm sorry, sorry," Rodney panted, knowing he'd probably hurt John when his hips had lifted off the bed.

"Do I need to tie your feet too?" John was rubbing the inside of his thighs. "Make you hold completely still for me?"

"Oh, god," Rodney replied, his body shuddering at the thought…splayed out completely, unable to move, open for John to do whatever he wanted…

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes," he answered before he lost his nerve. If it was too much John would take them off. "That's a yes."

John's weight and heat disappeared, and after a moment, Rodney felt the cool cloth being tied around each of his ankles. First one, then the other, leg was pulled and secured, until he knew he was completely on display. John was back at his side then, touching his face. "Rodney?"

Rodney realized he was trembling. John?"

"I'm right here. If you want them off, I'll take them off."

"I know. I know." He took a breath, trying to settle his racing heart.

John's mouth found his, the kiss gentle, easy.

When John let go, Rodney took a breath. "Hold me?"

Immediately, another body was curled around his, strong arms wrapping themselves around him. "I'm right here."

"I know…this is…I just need a few minutes. I'm sorry."

"Take your time. It's overwhelming, I know. Just keep telling yourself that the minute you decide you don't like it, they come off." John was trailing kisses along anything he could reach.

Rodney felt himself relaxing. Muscle by muscle, slowly melting under John's kisses and caresses, his body starting to respond once again. He tugged at his legs, finding them spread wide and secured tightly, giving him hardly any room to move. He was open for John to play with, to tease and tempt and torment.

He shifted a little and John paused. Rodney could feel his eyes on his face. "Come up here and kiss me properly."

"Sir, yes, sir." John sucked on his bottom lip for a moment before diving in for a kiss.

Rodney chuckled low in the throat, battling with John's tongue for a while until he opened his mouth, letting John take control, letting him take what he wanted. Using what little motion he had, he thrust upward, grinding his re-awakening erection into John's.

His lover pulled away with a moan. "I think we're getting sidetracked again."

"I don't think so."

"I do." John sat up, weight shifting so he was once again kneeling between Rodney's legs. "I believe I was in the process of tasting you." His balls were once more engulfed.

All he could do was moan, squirm, and plead as John played with him, played him. Every touch, every kiss, lick, suck, sent him higher and higher.

Suddenly, John pulled off, yanking down hard on his balls, hard enough to push away the orgasm he had been hovering on the edges of. "Not yet. We've barely gotten started."

Rodney whimpered. "Oh come on!"

"Nope. I haven't had nearly as much of you as I want yet."

Rodney banged his head against the pillow. "You are going to kill me."

"I'm going to make you fly."

And then John started again, touching and caressing, playing with his nipples making Rodney squirm and beg.

As he twisted and fondled, John started talking again. "The only real downfall with having you tied down is that I can't fuck you. The angle's all wrong. I suppose I could untie your feet, flip you, and tie you back down again, but then I can't play with your nipples and cock. It's one of the few real issues I have with bondage in general."

"I….oh god…I'm sure…please….more…you can…ohhhhh…come up with something," Rodney said, managing to get the words out as John played with him.

Sheppard was quiet for a minute, his hands doing the talking instead as they slid and caressed Rodney's body, never staying in one spot long enough.

"I think I might have a solution," John said suddenly and Rodney found himself whimpering as John disappeared again. And then there were hands on his ankles. Rodney felt John untie him only long enough to flip him onto his stomach before he was tied down once again. The cloth ropes were a little looser, Rodney realized but John got him to lift up, and what felt like all the pillows on the bed were shoved under his stomach, pulling everything tight again. Rodney realized his cock was just hanging in the air, with no chance of getting any friction, and when a hand reached under him to tweak a nipple, he knew John had placed the pillows carefully—just high enough to keep Rodney off the bed but also giving John access to everything he wanted. "Best of both worlds this way."

"Oh god," Rodney said squirming, pressing his forehead into the bed. He could almost picture how he looked—arms cuffed and tied to the bed, legs spread wide and tied, his ass in the air just waiting for John. "Please fuck me. Oh god, John. I'm…I don't know how much more I can take."

A dirty laugh accompanied the hand that left his nipple and moved up to his back, stroking. Before Rodney could guess what John was planning, he felt teeth scraping along his ass cheeks, tongue dipping between the crack, but not going near where he really wanted it.

Rodney clenched his ass slightly, catching a little of John's tongue, but John growled and, using his hands, spread him wide, diving in again.

Finally, John moved lower, licking all around Rodney's hole, dipping just barely in before pulling out again, still pulling Rodney's cheeks wide, leaving him open.

"Oh god…just do something….please." If his hands were free he would have jerked himself off already just to release the pressure, but he couldn't. He was tied to the bed and every nerve in his body was screaming at him demanding release. It was like John knew exactly what to do to set him right on the edge—playing, teasing, sucking, licking, rimming—oh god!—but nothing was enough to send him over. He wanted John to fuck him. Wanted John to touch him more, harder. Wanted John to hurry up and do something instead of keeping him like this—hard, needy, panting, leaking, and begging for it.

It was slow and torturous and so damn good and hot.

"I am doing something." John blew on the area he had been licking, still wet with his saliva, sending shivers up Rodney's back.

"Oh god…" Rodney moaned, clenching and unclenching his hands.

The tongue disappeared for a moment, but again, before he could protest or question, two fingers were sliding in—his ass still loose and stretched from earlier—hitting his prostate with uncanny accuracy on the first try.

The pleasure shot through his body, making him shudder under John's hand, a strangled moaning sob escaped his mouth as Sheppard continued to play and tease. John was all that he could feel—in him, around him, touching him.

After what seemed like hours of torture—in and out so slowly he felt himself spinning closer and closer to the edge, but never allowed to step over—the fingers were replaced with the feeling of John sliding in, sliding home. Rodney could feel the other man shaking with the effort of moving so slowly, and the cloth he had felt earlier was gone. It was all Sheppard sheathed in his body.

John was everywhere, filling him completely. There was no place on his body that hadn't felt his touch, his hands. And Rodney swore if he wasn't tied so tightly and securely to the bed, he'd drift away on the river of pleasure that surrounded him.

As John began to move, ever so slowly, Rodney felt himself climbing higher and higher, letting John take him wherever he wanted to go.

His cock, which he had almost forgotten about in the wash of pleasure happening elsewhere, suddenly had hot fingers wrapped around it, moving in time to the lazy thrusts. "You look so beautiful like this," John's voice was a whispered caress.

Rodney knew he should respond, acknowledge the words he heard, but he couldn't. There were no words to describe what he felt, how he felt. He barely even heard his own whimpers and moans as John continued to pull him ever higher.

"Rodney..." John's thrusts started to get harder, faster. He was close to the edge.

John's hand was on his dick and his cock was rocking and thrusting into him. Rodney swore he could feel John's cock it all the way up to his throat, as if John had merged with him. And somewhere in his chest, something broke—a small piece of his anger, his resentment, his mistrust—falling away.

And in the moments between one heartbeat and the next, Rodney was flying.

***

John felt his lover spasm around him with a wordless cry, which was all it took to break the last of his own self-control. For the second time that day, he felt like his brains were being sucked out of his dick.

He collapsed onto Rodney’s back, trying to catch his breath, feeling boneless and so damn post-coital it wasn’t even funny.

After about a minute, he managed to stir and pull out, getting a little whimper from Rodney, but not much else. A quick check showed his geek had the look of the well-fucked: totally dazed and still floating in a haze of pleasure.

Heh. He had put that look on Rodney’s face.

Managing to get all his limbs to obey, he quickly got all of the restraints untied, removing the cuffs and kissing the inside of each wrist as he did. When he got to the blindfold, John hesitated, then left it—Rodney had been insistent on leaving it on earlier, so he would wait to get permission to remove it. Part of him just wanted to take it off and arrange Rodney to his own satisfaction, but Rodney wasn’t ready for a full dom/sub relationship yet, if ever. John made a conscious effort to lock down some of those instincts.

Rodney still wasn’t responding beyond soft sighs, so he ran to the bathroom for a wet cloth, wiping himself down before returning to do the same for Rodney. Tossing the rag off the bed, he wrapped himself along his purring lover, resting his head on the limp shoulder to wait for him to rouse himself.

A long contented sigh broke the silence, Rodney's chest rising and falling in one large movement.

Spreading his hand wide, John ran it up Rodney's stomach. "Hey there."

"Mmm."

With a soft chuckle, John curled closer to Rodney's body. "Now that's what I mean when I tell you I plan to make you stop thinking."

Rodney shifted a little, finally managing to get his arm to cooperate, his hand resting on John's arm, fingers trailing lightly over the skin. "John?" The word was light, gentle and very quiet, as if Rodney was afraid if he spoke things would change, shatter.

Catching the hand, he twined their fingers together. "Yeah?"

"Can I….I'd like to see you."

John sat up so he could use his other hand, quickly removing the blindfold. "I wasn't sure you would want it off yet. Otherwise I would have removed it with the rest of the stuff."

Rodney blinked several times, trying to adjust his eyes to the light—not that there was a lot of it.

McKay's eyes were soft—there was no other way to describe them—as they stared at him, drinking in his face.

Rodney reached out, his fingers lightly tracing the edges of John's lips. "I…I never knew."

John leaned into the touch a bit, feeling a bit dazed himself. "Never knew what?"

"That this was possible." Rodney's voice was so quiet, a hint of awe showing through.

"Rodney..." John leaned in, kissing the edge of his mouth.

McKay turned his head, catching John's mouth, the kiss lazy and warm and so bare it made John hurt.

His chest tight, John broke it off slowly, nibbling Rodney's bottom lip until they finally pulled apart. Swallowing hard, knowing Rodney could probably read as much in his face as he could see in the other man's, John put his head back on Rodney's shoulder.

"This time I know you broke me," Rodney finally said, amusement filtering into his voice.

"Nah. If I broke my favorite toy, I wouldn't be a very good boy, now would I?"

"I'm a toy now?" Even without looking up, John knew Rodney's eyebrow was raised.

Sheppard grinned into skin. "My very own boy toy."

Rodney huffed, shifting on the bed. "I do know two things, though."

John lifted his head again, finding two amused blue eyes on him. "And what would those be?"

"Carson is not getting any of that stuff back—ever—and I don’t think I can look at him the same way again."

This time John laughed, shaking them both, until he felt tears in his eyes. "Oh, God. I am in total agreement with you on both counts."

"John?" Rodney's hand was on his face, eyes looking up at him carefully. "Are you okay?"

Realizing he had probably crossed the line into slightly hysterical, John buried his head in Rodney's shoulder again. This was overwhelming for more than one of them it seemed. The effort of walking the line, giving Rodney what he needed and holding back the rest… And Rodney needed him to be the one who knew what he was doing. "Yeah. Just...yeah. I'm fine."

John felt, more than heard, Rodney sigh. "Are you sure?"

Sheppard knew on some level that lying, even his standard I'm fine line, would probably be recognized for what it was. He had told Rodney to trust him, but that was a two-way street, he knew. With a small shudder, still not looking up, he took a risk. "No."

Rodney shifted again, his arms curling around John. "What's wrong?"

"You...this...I've never..." John took a deep breath. "I've played these games before, but I've never felt like this, had anyone react like this. And I won't say it again, so don't ask."

"Shouldn't I be the one freaking out?"

"M'not freaking out." No, he wasn’t freaking out so much as overwhelmed by it all.

"Sure." Rodney paused again, taking a deep breath before he continued. "And is this just a game to you?"

"No. It's not." And that was what had him feeling so out of control.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No! God, no Rodney... You were perfect. I..." He sat up, not really sure how to put it in words, knowing his emotions were probably all over his face. "It always was a game before. But this was... You...."

Rodney hand was on his mouth, silencing him. "We're good?"

John licked the fingers, not able to help himself. He nodded, breath hitching.

"You're sure?"

"Better than good." John managed to get it out around the hand still at his lips.

"Good. Then lay back down. You're making a draft. And besides, I think I need some comforting since I should be the one freaking out."

John smiled, snuggling close again. "Sorry. I'll try to wait to do my freaking out in private next time. And for the record, you really were perfect."

"Well, genius here," McKay said, the tone light, but John could feel Rodney's skin heating up as he flushed. "And no freaking out—public or private. I'm the only one allowed to have panic attacks. One's enough."

"I'll keep that in mind." John tempered his dry tone with light kisses to Rodney's shoulder. "Seriously, are you okay? That was a little…intense."

Rodney was silent for a long moment and John almost sat up again just so he could look down at the other man. "I…yes."

Resting a hand on the broad chest, John idly moved his thumb back and forth, careful to avoid anything sensitive. "You sure?"

The next answer was just as slow in coming, but the tone told John everything he needed to know. "You made me fly."

He sucked in a breath, fingers clenching a little before smoothing back out. "I like flying."

"I like flying with you," Rodney whispered, leaning to press a kiss to the top of John's head.

John shivered, the tight feeling back in his chest. "Better than pulling five Gs upside down."

"I'll keep that in mind," Rodney chuckled, the sound ending in a yawn.

"Tired again?" John angled his head so he could watch Rodney's face without moving.

"Hmm. Worn out."

"Good sex will do that. Great sex even more so."

"I better get used to this feeling then."

"We're space explorers now. That means we get to try for greater heights than the average man." John smiled, nuzzling his face into the hand that came up to stroke his jaw, in an imitation of his usual gesture.

"If we sleep now, we can have more sex later."

"I'm touched at your faith in my recovery abilities."

"I said later, not now."

"Oh, good. We could still kiss though. I think I'm up to that." To prove his point, John pressed a kiss into the hand still on his face.

"We could," Rodney said, a smile in his voice. "There is one problem."

"There is no problem the great Rodney McKay can't find a way to overcome."

Rodney huffed in response. "You're in the wrong position for kissing correctly."

"You could do something about that. I did all the work earlier. I think I'm feeling lazy now."

"Then I guess kissing is not too important to you right now," Rodney said, shifting a little on the bed and turning his head to the side as he closed his eyes.

"Bastard." John grinned as he rolled them both, pulling Rodney on top of him and spreading his legs so the other man could settle between them. "How's that?"

"Better," Rodney said with a half smile, "but you're a little lumpy and you're all angles."

"Hey! I'll have you know I am perfectly well muscled."

"Boney."

"I am not!" John tried to look at himself around Rodney. "Am I?"

Rodney caught John's lips with his own, offering a lazy kiss in answer.

John opened up, letting Rodney dive in, losing himself for a while in the simple pleasure of mouths and tongues and lips.

"Hmmm," Rodney said, finally pulling away, breathing against John's neck.

John leaned his head against Rodney's running his hands up and down McKay's back. "Mmmmm is right."

"As much as I'd like to continue this right now, I really think I need to nap."

"Do you mind if I poke around a little?"

"As long as you don't go too far."

"Why would I do that? I just want to see what else Carson left for us. And unlike some lazy people I know, I can't take more than one nap a day."

Rodney yawned again, sliding to the side so he could pillow his head on John's shoulder. "Fine," he yawned, settling in.

John waited until Rodney's breathing evened out. He had been surprised when they started sharing a tent way back when the team was formed to learn Rodney didn't snore. He seemed like the type.

Once John was sure the physicist was sleeping, he slipped out from under him, wandering the room. He popped a few of the nuts that tasted like cherries Carson had left in a bowl—how the doctor knew he was getting hooked on them and was willing to even trade some of his dwindling supply of real chocolate for them John couldn’t guess.

There were no more big surprises, so he wandered out to the balcony, lips quirking up at the view—the city stretched out in front of him. As always, he could feel it humming through him. It always got stronger when he was quiet like this. Sliding to the ground, he leaned his head back and took deep breaths, savoring the taste and feel of the city, and the pull of muscles that reminded him of what he had been doing, what was waiting for him back inside. And between one breath and the next, he fell asleep.

***

Rodney woke suddenly, going from sleep to wakefulness in a matter of a few seconds. It was dark and glancing at the clock, he noticed it was somewhere in the middle of the night. He'd been asleep for a few hours.

Groaning, he rolled onto his side, his back reminding him why he had a prescription mattress in his room and why he didn't do vigorous activities like this on a regular basis.

John. Where was John?

Sitting up, the room spun and he closed his eyes tightly against the feeling of vertigo, sweat breaking out along his hairline, knowing immediately what was wrong.

Lunch had been a long, long time ago.

Waiting a few more minutes, Rodney opened his eyes, glancing around the room carefully, trying not to move too much. There was no sign of the other man, but the balcony door was open.

Thanks to the bright moonlight, he could make out a mini-kitchen across the room. John said Carson had stocked up.

Clearing his throat, he tried the easier of the two possibilities he had. "John?"

He waited. Then tried again a little louder. "John?"

Okay. Remind him to put a leash on the major the next time he goes wandering in the middle of the night. Moving to the edge of the bed, Rodney closed his eyes as the room spun again, already knowing that this was probably a bad idea.

But he didn't have much choice.

Taking a breath, he opened his eyes, fixing them on the counter across the way. Shoving himself upright, he managed to stand—unsteadily—but he was upright.

"John, get your skinny ass back in here!"

Yeah. That wasn't working.

Rodney was proud of himself. He made it about halfway across the room before his head started spinning again, his hands catching the edge of a desk chair, sending it careening into the wall, as he stumbled to his knees, his hands bracing his fall.

His head hanging, Rodney tried to catch his breath and make the room stop spinning.

"Shit...Wha...Rodney...?" A figure appeared in the balcony door, heading his direction.

"Where the hell were you?" he asked as John reached him.

"What time is it? Last I remember I was out looking at the city." The lights came up slightly, and he saw John's eyes widen as he took in the scene. "Rodney? What's wrong?"

"Dizzy. Nauseous."

"Sit down" John had grabbed the chair and got him seated. "What can I do?"

"I…I need to eat something," he said, his eyes clenched together as he tried to settle himself after the sudden movement. "I missed dinner."

"Oh fuck. Okay, stay there. Here," a bowl of nuts was put in his hands. "Munch on those while I see what else there is."

"It's not too bad yet, but if I hadn't woken up…" Rodney let the sentence trail off as he took a handful of the nuts, eating them slowly.

He heard a litany of 'oh fuck oh fuck' coming softly from across the room. After a few minutes, an MRE was pressed into his hands, already prepped and ready to eat. "That was the most nutritious thing I could find."

"It's my fault," Rodney said, already digging into the pasta and meatballs. "I should have known better."

"No, I should have been more diligent, made you eat something earlier. I'm sorry." John had dropped to the floor, sitting almost between Rodney's legs. "Hell, I shouldn't have fallen asleep on the damn balcony. You're much nicer to wake up to than the cold wall."

"Why were you sleeping on the balcony?" Rodney asked in between bites of food, already starting to feel better.

John looked a bit sheepish. "I didn't mean to fall asleep out there."

"You fell asleep, on the balcony, naked as the day you were born instead of in a nice warm comfy bed?" The 'with me' hung in the air between them unsaid.

"I think I did. I was listening to Atlantis, and I must have been more tired than I thought. Sorry." John looked up at him through his lashes.

Rodney huffed around the last bite of the hot food before he dug into the dessert. So apparently John got freaked out when things got too personal.

"Rodney?" John scooted closer, now sitting directly between his legs. "I really didn't mean to fall asleep out there."

"Fine. You didn't mean to fall asleep. I understand."

John sighed. "And then I nearly killed you on top of disappearing. Some boyfriend I'm turning out to be. I did warn you I suck at this." He rested his head against Rodney's leg.

"Have we not had this conversation before?" Rodney asked, rolling his eyes. "I’m a grown man and I know how to take care of myself. I don't need someone hovering over me checking to make sure I tied my shoelaces or had my three o'clock snack. It's my own damn fault I didn't eat dinner. I know better. I know what can happen."

"I know. But just because you can take care of yourself doesn't mean I can't help."

"And we're both seen how well that has gone far."

McKay felt John's wince. His voice had lost the light, teasing tone, and he pressed closer to Rodney's leg. "I'm sorry."

McKay sighed, dropping his head. "Look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"You were right."

"No. I'm cranky. There's a difference."

"I should have just stayed in bed with you."

"You didn't want to. That's fine."

John sighed, looking up at him again. "I did want to, but I've been confined to bed-rest for a week. I thought I was restless, but apparently..."

"Can we just forget about it?" Rodney asked pushing the chair back so he could put the remnants of his late dinner on the counter.

John followed him, managing to fit himself back between Rodney's legs before he could get up. One hand came up to stroke his calves. "Okay. Feel better now? Need anything else?"

McKay sighed again, wishing he knew what he wanted and where the anger and annoyance was coming from. "No. I’m fine."

"You're pissed. And after such fucking awesome sex." John kissed the inside of his knee. "Tell me how to fix this."

"No, I'm not pissed. If I were pissed you'd know. I just…I don't know." Rodney managed to drop the rest of his MRE on the counter, his free hand resting on John's bare shoulder.

"I was a shit afterwards. And then I left you. I'd be pissed." John's head fell back onto Rodney's leg. "I...wasn't expecting it to be so intense, to feel so much. And then Atlantis...I mean, I know she relaxes me when I open up to her, but I really didn't expect to fall asleep. My plan had been to explore a little, then go curl back up with you until you woke up."

"Can we just drop this?"

"Yeah." John's smile was shy, and oddly endearing.

"Good. I’m naked and sitting in a non-ergonomic chair when there's a perfectly good bed on the other side of the room."

Grinning, John rose with his casual, boneless grace, holding one hand out to Rodney. "You know, I do believe there is."

Rodney looked up at the other man for a long moment before taking the out-stretched hand, allowing John to pull him up, the room only dipping a little on their way back toward the bed.

John laid him back on the bed almost reverently, draping his body on top and leaning in close enough to nibble at the side of Rodney's mouth. "You always taste good. I could do this for days."

"You sure about that?" Rodney asked, his first instinct to be sharp and biting. Instead, he held his tongue, the rest of his comments fading before he could say them. He didn't want to make John feel bad—he didn't—and he hated himself right now—needy, wanting, jealous of Atlantis and that stupid balcony.

John pulled back, a flash of something in his eyes. He bit his lower lip slightly, his tone uncertain. "Rodney..."

"I'm sorry…this is stupid," Rodney said, huffing as he turned his head to the side, his hand moving to rest on John's hip.

John settled over him, pushing his nose into the crook of Rodney's neck. "No, it's not. You woke up and needed me and expected me to be there, and instead I was out sleeping on the fucking balcony. Naked. I think I have wind burn on my dick."

"Serves you right," Rodney muttered.

McKay could feel a small smile being pressed into him. "You could check for me. Make sure I didn't do any permanent damage."

"That's something you need to take up with Carson, I think."

"Do you really want Doctor Kinky anywhere near my dick? And I could check yours for you. Make sure it didn't cold or anything."

"I wasn't the one who wandered around outside without any clothes on."

"I was horribly, terribly wrong, and you were right," John sighed.

"No. I was alone."

"What can I do to make this up to you? Let you tie me to the bed for a while? Give you chocolate? Back-rub? Blow-job?"

The hand that wasn't on John's hip, came up to cover his eyes. "I don't know. Okay? I don't know. What the hell else do you want from me?"

John sighed, and rolled off, coming to rest on the bed next to him. "Nothing. I feel like shit for having fucked this up, and I don't know how to fix it, okay. I'm sorry."

Rodney chuckled humorlessly. "Aren't we the pair? We have mind-blowing sex and then fight. I don't have the energy for this."

"We always fight. It's foreplay. Makes for better sex. I just wish we could hurry up and get through the fight part and get to the make-up sex part." John turned his head, catching Rodney's eye, smiling shyly again.

Sighing again, Rodney rubbed a hand over his face, before turning back to John, his hands reaching out toward him. "I’m sorry, but that doesn't mean you're not an idiot."

John rolled back, falling into what was fast becoming their position, curled against Rodney's side. "I accept full responsibility for my idiocy, and I promise not to let it get the better of me again."

"Doubtful."

Rodney felt light kisses being ghosted along his shoulder. "I can try though."

"As much as I hate to say this, I don't think your cock in my ass is a good idea right now."

"You could top."

"I'm…" he let the sentence trail off, part of him worried that he might end up taking out his anger on John in a very bad way. "I don't think that's a good idea right now."

John's hand trailed over his chest. "Why? Your poor ass needs a break, and mine is begging to be fucked."

His voice was quiet. "Because I’m angry."

Rodney felt another sigh, although the hand on his chest continued to caress. "You're going to have to tell me what you want then. Anything. Just name it."

"I don’t know. Sex has never been an option I've had to consider before."

"It doesn't have to be all about sex, you know. While fucking amazing, I'll understand if you don't want any right now."

Rodney glanced over, seeing the sincerity in John's eyes. "I just…I can't believe I'm jealous at Atlantis," he mumbled.

John actually sat up a little at that. "Wait...what? You're jealous of...? Why?"

"You went to…her." Rodney broke off, turning away. "Can we just not talk about this?"

John was quiet for a moment and then callused hands were gently turning his face, forcing him to look. "Rodney, you have nothing to be jealous of. You're my lover, the man I fly with. Atlantis is always there, in the back of my head. Sort of like a pressure. I didn't go to her so much as I've gotten used to opening up a little more when I'm relaxed, content. But she's just a city. She doesn't hold anything on you."

Rodney closed his eyes, feeling even more like an idiot than he did a few minutes ago.

Fingers stroked his face. "Does it help to know that I want to kill every damn scientist who puts their hands on you. You have a very touchy staff."

"I do not."

"They're always putting their hands on you, touching your elbow, brushing your fingers, standing close enough to bump shoulders..."

"Yeah, but that doesn't happen after sex."

"No, it doesn't. And if you have sex with any of them, I can't be held responsible for my actions. But I didn't rush out to embrace the city after sex, either. I was actually out there enjoying the view and thinking Carson picked a good room. I was relaxed, thinking about you in the bed not far away. I wasn't thinking about Atlantis, I was, well I guess I was sharing how good I felt with her. I get the feeling she was really lonely for a long time."

Rodney sighed again. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "I'm sorry."

"That's my line." John leaned in to kiss Rodney's forehead.

"Mine too, it seems," McKay said, turning up his head, leaning into John, their breath mingling.

"Are we done fighting now?" John's voice whispered across his lips.

"Maybe. For now. I'm sure we're ever going to be done."

John brushed his lips across Rodney's. "It wouldn't be half as much fun if ever stopped fighting altogether. And people would accuse us of alien possession."

"If they knew about this I'm sure they'd lock us away," Rodney said, humming a little, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips and grazing across John's in the process.

McKay got a quiet moan in response and John's tongue flicked out to run across Rodney's lips. "They'd be a little shocked to have it confirmed, but most people probably think we've been sleeping together for months anyway."

"What?" Rodney pulled back so he didn't have to look crossed-eyed at John. "What do you mean?"

John's tongue flicked out again, wetting his lips. "We flirt like crazy, we argue all the time—foreplay! We hang out together pretty much all the time...I wouldn't be surprised if we were the last ones to figure it out, although I don't plan on asking around or anything."

"Please don't," Rodney said moving back to where he was, John's mouth just out of reach.

"Yeah, no desire to be court-martialed. Although, as ranking officer, I can't really bring myself up on charges. But let's not test that theory, all right?"

"No plans to."

"Although you know, if we never get back in contact with Earth, I can revoke DADT. I could get Elizabeth to back me on it, I'm sure. Unfortunately, I can't do anything like that for a while." John had leaned in enough to breath Rodney's air again, words brushing lips.

Rodney sighed again, moving a hair closer, lips barely brushing John's.

"Rodney." John made his name sound almost reverent.

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me."

"Why?"

John caught his bottom lip, sucking it in for a moment before letting go again. "I like kissing you."

Rodney could feel the warmth growing in the pit of his stomach. "That's a coincidence. I like kissing you."

"Amazing. What are the odds?"

"Dunno. Never tried to figure them out." Rodney's tongue grazed John's lip purposely.

He watched John's eyes flutter. "Mmmm."

Rodney tried it again, testing to see if he got the same reaction.

John groaned, and Rodney felt the slight tremors that ran through his body.

Interesting. The same action produces two different results. He had to try it again—and he did.

This time John's eyes stayed shut, his breath hitching. "Rodney..."

And a third reaction. Huh. Interesting.

"Hmm?"

"Please..."

"Hmm?"

John's tongue peeked out again, leaving his lips moist and inviting.

Which made Rodney want to lick them again, lightly and gently. So, he did.

John's breath hitched again, the shivers running through his body as he leaned in minutely. "Kiss me."

"Hmm? Why?"

"Need you..."

"I'm here. Take what you need…if you can."

With another groan, John leaned in further, brushing his tongue across Rodney's lips, tracing the seam of his mouth and requesting entrance.

Rodney smiled gently, his lips parting.

John licked his way in, tracing the contours of Rodney's mouth. He didn't pull back up until both of them were panting for air, and then he only allowed a few breaths before he dove back in.

Rodney moved, drawing Sheppard with him, their mouths never parting as he settled John on top of him, spreading his legs so the other man could press against him. John was solid against him, keeping him grounded.

John began to move slowly, rocking more out of instinct that any real intent, rubbing their cocks together as he continued to plunder Rodney's mouth.

It was slow and lazy and Rodney felt himself hardening even more as he moaned into the kiss. His hands reached around to grab John's ass, holding onto him, pressing Sheppard a little closer.

Rodney felt John work a hand between them, and suddenly they were sliding together, hardening together, just enough movement to create an edge of delicious friction. John moaned into his mouth even as he continued kissing.

They took their time, enjoying each other's mouths and the feeling of their bodies against each other. It was the slow build that got to him this time, Rodney knew, feeling the pleasure suddenly rising as he spilled over John's hand with a moan Sheppard swallowed.

John continued the almost lazy thrusts against him, come making the glide smoother. He wasn't really kissing anymore, just panting into Rodney's mouth, until the pace stuttered, and John's seed joined his between them.

Rodney's hands trailed along John's back as the other man shuddered through his orgasm, one hand drifting up to the back of Sheppard's head, fingers combing through the hair it found as McKay renewed the kiss they'd begun.

John's mouth opened, but he didn't seem capable of much for a few minutes, just letting Rodney explore. After a few minutes, he started to respond, sucking on Rodney's tongue, pulling it into his own mouth.

Chuckling a little into John's mouth, Rodney let the other man play, hands caressing and touching any skin they could reach.

John pulled away when they both needed air, but he did it reluctantly, sucking on Rodney's bottom lip for an extra second or two. "We're sticky again."

"And?" McKay leaned up, catching John's mouth again, his right hand squeezing the other man's ass.

John pushed down into him slightly, although they were both still soft. "Just pointing it out." He murmured around the kiss.

"I'll keep it in mind," Rodney replied, sliding his left hand down as well, cupping John's perfect ass in his two hands.

John groaned and pushed back into Rodney's hands a little. "I really wish I was still twenty and could get it up again this fast."

"No rush. Still time," Rodney said, his kisses trailing along John's jaw.

John's head fell back and to the side, giving Rodney full access to his neck. He gasped as Rodney's sucked a small patch lightly. "That's…ug, there, oooh…true."

McKay smiled against John's skin, licking a trail up to his earlobe where he began to nibble and suck.

John was panting again, propped up a little to give them both access, and Rodney could feel Sheppard's hands clenching and unclenching next to them. "I think you're...learning too...fast. Thought I'd have...more time to...ravish you before...you caught on to it."

"Genius," Rodney said, leaning back against the pillow. "And there's always room for ravishing."

John took the invitation, and picked up where Rodney had left off, nibbling his way along Rodney's jaw line, towards an ear.

Sighing in contentment and arousal, McKay turned his head slightly, hands and fingers digging into John's back.

"I think I need to get us rolled over so I can do some touching of my own."

"You're on top."

"I want to be on the bottom, so I don't have to worry about holding myself up." Rodney got a dirty grin, even as he wiggled his ass a little in Rodney's hands.

"I'm comfortable."

"I see that. I guess that means you wanna stay where you are, huh?"

"It's better for my back."

John laughed softly, sucking on an earlobe for a moment. "Well, I wouldn't want to be the one to throw your back out."

"Hmm….too late, I think."

John sat up a bit, concern suddenly creasing his face. "Did you hurt it earlier? Did I pull something with the restraints?"

Rodney shrugged, a sheepish expression on his face. "Not used to all this exercise and some of the…positions put a little more stress on it than normal."

"You should have said something. I would have stopped. Do you want me to get off? Is this making it worse?"

"No!" Rodney said immediately, holding John a little closer. "I didn't want you to and you're fine the way you are."

John smiled, leaning in to kiss the side of his mouth. "You know, there is a huge bathtub in here, and I thought I saw jets. We could get cleaned up, and see if that relaxes your back any. I could even give you a backrub before we both pass out for the night."

"There is?" Rodney tried to crane his neck, but he had no room to move with John lying on top of him, holding him down, touching him everywhere.

The laugh this time was a bit dirty. "There is. Big enough for both of us—I saw it earlier when I was looking around."

"You didn't give me the chance to look around before you put the blindfold on."

"Come on. Let's go try it out, and you can use the time to look around too, if you want. This is a pretty amazing room."

Rodney looked at John for a moment before nodding. "And, that wasn't a complaint."

He got another sweet kiss. "I know. But that was before."

"Before?" Rodney asked as John rolled onto his side and off of Rodney before sitting up.

"When I was more interested in ravishing you than fixing your back."

"Can't you do both?" Rodney widened his eyes as he stared up at John.

John grinned as he pulled them both up, moving towards the bathroom again. "You know, with the right incentive, I probably could."

"You mean a naked astrophysicist isn't enough?"

"A naked, wet, soapy astrophysicist would be even better." John waggled his eyebrows and leered.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Rodney asked as John moved ahead of him. McKay took the time to admire the tight ass in front of him before turning his attention to the bathroom—the huge bathroom—complete with a shower and a tub and an amazing view of the city. In the moonlight it looked like it was glowing.

"This is amazing."

"I know." The tub had started to fill as soon as they walked in, and Rodney could feel the steam rising off the water, small jets swirling it around. John was picking up a few bottles lined near the edge, smelling the contents. "Okay, where the hell did Carson get all this stuff? I think the boxes of tea I promised him aren't going to be enough."

And as much as Rodney complained about things, his back wasn't exactly a happy camper with him right now. From the vigorous exercising to the strange mattresses and positions, nothing was in the right place. "I know I'll never look at that sheepshearer the same way again."

John moved back to his side, easing them both into the hot water and positioning Rodney directly in front of a jet. "I know what you mean. And stay there for a sec to see if it loosens you up. I'll grab a washcloth and get us cleaned up."

"Hmm," Rodney said, arranging himself so that the water pounded into his back muscles, his eyes closing as he felt some of them loosen because of the heat.

A few moments later, a soft cloth was being rubbed over his body, dipping below the water line to clean off the dried, sticky come all over his stomach. "Is it helping any?"

"I want this room."

"I know. Can you rig it so it looks like a claimed room in the system? I'll ask Atlantis not to open the door for anyone but us. And maybe Carson, since he is pretty awesome at stocking the place." John had finished washing him, and Rodney felt the movement of the water that indicated he was getting himself taken care of as well.

"Maybe," Rodney replied absently, the warm water starting to relax his body and drag him down into sleep.

"Hey, no falling asleep in the bathtub. I'll have people accusing me of drowning you." John floated over, and arranged himself in Rodney's lap, using his knees to keep them together.

Rodney half opened his eyes, only long enough to tilt his head down to rest on John's shoulder, letting the soldier hold him up.

McKay heard a soft chuckle, and then he was shaken awake again. "All right, let's get you dried off and back to bed before you pass out on me."

"I'm awake, I'm awake," Rodney said, but let John manhandle him out of the tub, shivering as the cool air hit his water-warmed body.

A towel was rubbed all over his body, John grinning a little as he ran it though Rodney's hair, making it stand on end. Then he led them back to the bed, giving him a little push. "Do you need to eat again before we go to sleep?"

"No," Rodney said, shaking his head. The cold air had woken him up, but exhaustion hadn't retreated too far away. "Ate enough before, but I'll need to have breakfast."

"There are a few bowls of fruit, and I think I saw coffee and a coffee pot. Will that hold you over when we wake up until we can get down to the mess?" John climbed into the bed, raising an eyebrow when Rodney didn't immediately follow.

"There's coffee?"

"Yeah. I have to admit, I don't drink it often, so I have no idea if it's the good stuff or not."

"Maybe I should make a pot now…"

Laughing, John got to his knees and crawled back to the edge of the bed, snagging Rodney's hand before he could start for the kitchen. "We're going to bed now, you don't need caffeine. It will be there in the morning. If I wake up first, I'll even put a pot on for you."

"I always need caffeine," Rodney whined, but let John pull him down and arrange him on the bed, pulling the sheet up over the two of them as he slid down along McKay's side.

"You're falling asleep on your feet. You need rest. You can go back to twelve cups an hour in the morning if you want. Although, come to think of it, that's probably why you have such a hard time sleeping." John snuggled in, one leg automatically flinging itself over Rodney, a hand coming to rest against his chest.

"The caffeine would help," Rodney said, leaning down to kiss John.

"It doesn't help you sleep. Just the opposite." John nibbled back.

"Sleeping is counterproductive when sex is a possibility."

Rodney got a huff of amused air blown into his mouth. "Sex isn't a possibility at the moment. If you can actually get hard again tonight, and then managed to not pass out before you could do anything about it, I would be pretty impressed."

"Could try," Rodney suggested as he leaned closer, the kiss wet and dirty.

"Mmmmmm. You might be able to, but I don't think I'd be able to participate. I could watch you jerk off I suppose—which, come to think of it, would be pretty hot."

"Hard to watch while we kiss," Rodney countered, tugging John up so the angle wouldn't hurt so much.

"Rodney, you were just falling asleep in the bathtub. We really need to sleep." John let Rodney kiss him again, but he pulled away before Rodney could deepen it.

McKay whimpered, trying to follow, but John wouldn't let him. "Let me put some coffee on."

"Tomorrow. Right now, we're going to sleep." John's limbs kept him pinned to the bed as his lover got himself comfortable again. "Good night, Rodney."

"Come on."

"Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep."

"I don't want to."

"Yes, you do. I just made the mistake of saying the 'C' word. Close your eyes, Rodney. If you're still awake and feeling horny in a half-hour, feel free to roll my unconscious body over and have at it."

Rodney huffed, but closed his eyes. A minute later he opened one to look down at John. "I'm not sleeping yet."

"Mmph?" John's eyes were closed, the soft sound more of an exhale than an actual response.

But as much as he denied it, exhaustion was close, encroaching on him with each passing moment. And between one breath and the next Rodney felt his eyes close and he slept.

***

John woke up to a hand carding through his chest hair, bright blue eyes hovering above him, staring down. Rodney’s smile was soft, affectionate, and John felt an answering expression pulling his lips up. “Hey.”

"Sleep well?"

"Yeah. You? I don't smell coffee yet."

"No."

"No you didn't sleep well, or no, you haven't started coffee yet?"

Rodney rolled his eyes and leaned back down on the bed. "Yes to sleeping, no to coffee."

John thought about sitting up, but his limbs were still sleep-heavy, and he didn't feel like moving yet. Instead, he groped around until he found Rodney's hand, twining their fingers together. "How's your back?"

Rodney sighed. "Sore. Same as my ass."

"I've-been-well-fucked sore, or I-need-to-see-a-chiropractor-and-never-let-John-touch-me-again sore?"

"The first, but a chiropractor wouldn't be a bad idea."

"I'll put it on the list."

"List?"

"Things I plan to requisition if we ever hear from Earth again. It'll go below more chocolate and coffee, but above new boots."

"Oh. I thought it was the other list."

"The sex toys I plan to buy for you list? Or the things I want to do to you list? Couldn't be the places I want to fuck you list, although a chiropractor's office would get points for being different."

Rodney's eyes were wide, his cheeks red. "You have a lot of lists."

"I like lists. That way, I don't accidentally forget anything. Take places I want to fuck you, for example. I mean, there are the obvious ones, like Jumper One in orbit, or your lab, bent over a table. But there are a few I could overlook if I didn't have a list, like that little corner on the East Pier that's sheltered from the city, but has a great view of the ocean."

It was amusing to watch Rodney's eyes widen even more and his mouth drop open as John continued reciting his list. "You…"

"Then there's the places I'd like to fuck you, but that are probably too risky. Like in the control room against the Stargate. Or in the Chair." John couldn't help the wicked grin.

Rodney shifted, his eyes moving from surprise to arousal.

"Feel free to add to the list any time. I'm always open to suggestions."

"You…you have good suggestions."

"I've thought about it a lot."

"I see that." Rodney paused for a beat before the corner of his mouth twisted up. "On a balcony outside. In all of your offices. In the isolation room where this all began."

John groaned. "Those are good too."

"How about in the storage room around the corner from my office or on one of the catwalks?"

"Consider them added."

Rodney licked his lips, his eyebrow rising in question.

John considered the catwalks… "If we're going to go for public places, I'm going to have to start carrying a gag with me everywhere. We don't want to get caught."

"We can pick the isolated ones."

"And we'll do those, but there's something naughty about having sex and knowing you could get caught. The lure of the forbidden. I like the catwalks idea. Sex right above everyone's heads." John let his eyes drift half shut, lost for a moment in an almost dreamy sex-fantasy haze.

"We could get caught anywhere in Atlantis," Rodney said quietly before he leaned into Sheppard pressing his lips to the corner of John's mouth.

John let the edge of his mouth—the one Rodney was kissing—quirk up a little in a smile. "True. But we aren't going to worry about that. The people here are pretty open-minded—unless we're shoving it in their faces, no one will say anything."

"Having sex above their heads might do that," Rodney murmured into his skin as he shifted his body, his hard cock rubbing against John's hip.

John curled in a bit, giving Rodney a place to thrust lightly into. "Well, yeah, but it would be pretty hot."

"Mmmm," Rodney said, his head dipping down into the curve where neck met shoulder, his mouth nibbling the skin, his hips continually shifting and rubbing as his hands explored John's body.

Tilting his head to give Rodney access, John felt himself going from semi-hard to full mast. He put a hand on Rodney's shoulder, but otherwise didn't move, enjoying the feeling of hands and lips.

Rodney's hand snaked down between them and gently began caressing John, smearing the pre-come down his shaft before pulling his hand back. A triumphant purr rolled through Rodney's body as they began to slide together a little easier.

He had been content to let Rodney do the work, but now he had to thrust a little, hips moving of their own volition. It was still lazy, though, until Rodney's clever fingers found a nipple and, without warning, pinched hard. John's body nearly came up off the bed as he arched into the touch, a strangled whimper escaping.

"'Bout time you helped," Rodney muttered, trailing kisses along John's jaw.

"Thought it was…Oh dear god…good for you to do some of the work." He wasn't sure whether he was squirming to escape the torture to his nipple or get more of it.

"I'm the injured party here," Rodney finally said, reaching John's mouth once again.

Turning his head, John let Rodney claim his lips, pulling him in, the pinching and fondling continuing. Rodney had managed to climb completely on top of him, their cocks now lined up and rubbing together as John thrust up every time Rodney thrust down.

It wasn't as slow and lazy as last night and they both had morning breath, but it was good.

John got a hand worked between them, around Rodney's cock, jerking it in time to the thrusts.

Rodney moaned into John's mouth, his tongue demanding entrance as he squirmed and shifted.

John opened up, let him in, even as he felt Rodney's movements getting jerkier, harder.

McKay's hands rose, clutching at John before sliding around and under his body, one holding the back of his head, pressing them closer, his kiss as demanding and loud and as Rodney, as if he were yelling at his scientists.

John groaned. That thought just shouldn't be as sexy as it was, and he was never going to be able to listen to Rodney rant again without getting hard.

Even with their legs tangled together, Rodney pressed closer, as if he were trying to crawl into him. His moans of pleasure and contentment were muffled, but they vibrated through McKay's entire body, transferring to John and setting him on edge. But what surprised Sheppard more was Rodney's next move, managing to roll them over without letting go of John's body or mouth, his arms pulling them closer once they were settled once again.

"Mmph?"

Instead of answering, Rodney drew back, panting against John's mouth as he thrust into Sheppard's hand, his eyes half-closed.

John shifted enough to give Rodney some room to move, twisting his hand a little every time he got to the head. "Come for me."

Rodney inhaled sharply and shuddered, groaning into John's neck as wave after wave rolled through him, his come spilling between them.

John continued to move his hand until the point where Rodney started to whimper that it was too much. He was still hard, and on edge but not close to coming yet himself, so he pushed himself up, still straddling Rodney's body. Letting his head fall back and eyes drift shut, and using Rodney's come for lubrication, he began to slowly jack himself off, letting it build slowly.

Light caresses against his thighs made him open his eyes, looking down to meet two blue eyes, Rodney's expression making him lose his rhythm.

"Rodney?"

"God, you're amazing," he breathed, his face wrecked and absolutely perfect.

"Me?" John tried to raise an eyebrow, but his cock was screaming for attention, so it was hard to look incredulous.

"I want to taste you."

John felt his hands being pulled away from his aching need, and he whimpered again. "You want...Rodney..."

McKay's hands tugged at his legs, trying to urge him to climb up his body. "Yes. Will you let me?"

"Let? Shouldn't it be me begging?" John complied with the urging, until he was almost straddling Rodney's head. "This would be easier if we switched positions."

Rodney shook his head as his hands gently touched John's back, guiding him forward until McKay's lips touched the head of John's cock, kissing it carefully, reverently.

With a low moan, John couldn't stop the stutter of his hips. "Rodney, please, touch me..."

Slowly, Rodney opened his mouth, letting John slide into the warmth, the heat, and then he waited.

"Oh..." John's head fell back again, eyes closing against his will. He aborted another thrust, not wanting to hurt his lover. He once again fought his instincts, the urge to claim, to fuck his lover’s mouth almost overwhelming. "Rodney, please..."

But Rodney's hands urged him forward, his tongue licking John's cock.

Sheppard pried his eyes open again, looking down and meeting blue eyes. And he read the intent there. "Oh..." Oh God. Not breaking eye contact, he pulled out slowly, and pushed back in, careful to keep the movement small, watching for signs of discomfort.

If possible, Rodney managed to relax more, his throat opening up a little. The fuck-me expression, though, was hard to miss.

John was pretty sure this was what people meant when they talked about Heaven. He didn’t know how Rodney knew he needed this, but he wasn’t going to ask questions. Carefully, he began to thrust, and almost lost it when Rodney started to add suction.

Rodney moaned around John, his eyes sliding shut as a blissful expression fell over his face.

John wasn't sure how long they stayed like that; he got lost in the wash of pleasure. It was almost a surprise when his orgasm hit, making him shudder as Rodney milked every last drop out of his dick. He just managed to pull out and roll off to the side as his limbs gave out on him.

Movement made him open his eyes only to find McKay stroking himself, his eyes closed as he quickly and efficiently began to bring himself to completion.

"Hey. I wanna watch." John had been wanting to watch Rodney jerk himself off for a while now. He managed to roll on to his side, propped up on an elbow.

"What?" Rodney asked, his movements stuttering as he turned his head, his glazed eyes staring at John.

"Watching you jerk yourself off is kinda hot. I want to watch. Do it slow."

Rodney swallowed thickly, but nodded, his hand slowing. John loved to watch Rodney work—his hands flying over keyboards, holding Ancient artifacts, the long fingers wrapping around his tools. So he shouldn't have been surprised to see how amazing it was to watch Rodney's hands on his cock, sliding up and down, twisting and caressing.

Sweat beaded on Rodney's forehead as he tried to hold himself back from the completion John knew he wanted—needed—in an effort to try and please Sheppard.

"You are incredible." John couldn't take his eyes away. It was one of the most erotic things he had ever seen—his own dick gave a half-hearted twitch at the sight.

Rodney moaned, his grip tightening as his hips shuddered. A few more pulls and strokes, and McKay was coming all over his stomach, his hand half-heartedly milking him through the aftershocks before dropping completely to the side.

John crawled over, planting a gentle kiss on Rodney's mouth, tasting traces of himself still lingering there. "Thank you."

"Hmm?" Rodney blinked lazily up at him, his eyes barely focusing.

Chuckling, John kissed him lightly again. "I'm gonna go get something to clean us up with, and a bowl of that fruit. You've gotta be getting hungry."

"Mmm," he replied, but managed to shake his head. "Shower."

"Food first. Then we'll shower." He slid off the bed, retrieving a bowl and bringing it back over. It was more of the grape-like things, so John popped one in his mouth and then held one out for Rodney to take.

McKay lifted his head high enough to snag one between his teeth before dropping back against the bed, chewing carefully, his body still limp and sated.

John fed him, enjoying trailing the fruit across various parts of Rodney's body—eyelids, nipples, lips—before allowing his lover to eat them.

What was even more amazing was that Rodney let him.

He was almost disappointed when he realized he was holding the last piece, setting it between his lips, he leaned down, kissing it into Rodney's mouth.

John felt Rodney smile against his lips as he bit down, taking his half of the fruit. He chewed and swallowed quickly, offering John a fruit and come-tasting kiss.

It was perfect. John sat back up, and idly ran a hand across Rodney's chest, petting him.

Rodney glanced down, watching John's hand as it trailed through his tacky chest. "We should probably clean up."

"I know. We need to go thank Carson too, before we get distracted." He sighed, his mind starting to jump ahead. "He's letting me return to duty today. There's probably a million things waiting for me."

"Probably. I need to make sure I'm allowed back on duty."

John couldn't help the grin. "For future reference, pissing Carson off is probably not a good idea. But I can't see why he wouldn't let you. I think he made his point. We'll head there when we leave, then go grab a real breakfast in the mess."

"It's not like I did it on purpose," Rodney protested as he slowly rolled onto his side before pushing himself upright.

"Hey." John managed to scoot close enough to wrap his arms around Rodney's shoulder. "It's okay."

"And I really, _really_ need to shower and brush my teeth."

"Me, too." With a sigh, John let go and followed Rodney off the bed. "Time to make ourselves presentable."

They actually managed to stick with the task at hand—showering together—with few interruptions. Once they were dressed, they stripped the bed, leaving the sheets and towels in a pile near the door. They'd come back to get them later. John had grabbed the "goodies", secreting them in various pockets before they headed out.

"All right, infirmary, my quarters to drop these off, then the mess, then we'll go our separate ways—you can save the city from the morons and I can drown in paperwork. How's that sound?"

"Don't forget the staff meeting. And as long as Carson agrees, fine."

"Hey, he sent us there for a little R&R. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty damn relaxed." As they neared the more populated parts of the city, they separated far enough that anyone who saw them wouldn't get suspicious.

"I…" Rodney began, his face turning a slight pink. "Well-fucked and relaxed is probably what best describes me."

John laughed, bumping Rodney with his shoulder. "As it should be."

McKay ducked his head, but didn't correct him. They arrived in the infirmary a few minutes later, finding Carson at his desk, sipping his morning tea.

John gave the doctor a lazy salute and a wide grin. "Major John Sheppard and Doctor Rodney McKay, reporting for check-ups and all-clears."

Beckett raised an eyebrow, his eyes drifting between the two men. "Well you certainly look better. More relaxed. I see you do know how to follow directions when it suits you."

"Sir, yes sir." John drawled. "Of course, it helps to have a well-stocked rec room. We owe you big time for that."

"It was nothing. I owed you a little something after the tests yesterday, I think. And I figured you could use some time to decompress and get to know each other a little better. And well-stocked? I’m not sure how clean sheets and some food count for that, but you're more than welcome."

John's eyebrows shot up. "That wasn't all we found, Doc. No need to deny it, we actually put all that stuff to good use. And we really appreciate it." He glanced over at Rodney, seeing the other man had a faint frown between his eyes.

"John, I did'na do anything else."

"This is bad….really bad," Rodney said, his voice very quiet.

"Okay..." John felt a faint stab of panic. "Um, did anyone else know you were sending us there?"

"I dunno think so," Carson said, shaking his head. "I did'na exactly alert anyone."

A lifetime of military training and knowing what would happen if anyone ever discovered that he swung both ways suddenly started to crash in on John. He felt the blood leave his face, and he barely made it to one of the chairs before his knees gave out. "Please tell me you're joking. Please..."

"John, yer scaring me," Carson said, already rounding the desk. "And Rodney, sit down before you fall down. Will one of you tell me what's wrong?"

John wordlessly pulled the fabric and leather out of his vest, letting it fall in his lap. "These were there...and oils and stuff in the bathroom. Other supplies. We assumed it was you, but if someone else...that means someone else knows..."

"Oh…" Carson said, fingers picking up one of the cuffs. "I left lube in the bedside drawer, but not this…and it's lovely."

John would have blushed if there were any blood left in his face. "They're really well-made. But if you didn't leave them..."

"This is Athosian leather. Perhaps Teyla?"

"Oh God…" Rodney breathed. "Teyla talked to you didn't she?"

John looked back and forth between the two doctors. "What's Teyla got to do with any of this?"

Rodney looked guilty. "I’m sure she knows. She's too damn perceptive for her own good."

John felt his eyes go wide. "Wait a minute. You're telling me Teyla knows you and I... And you think she left... Oh my God." He dropped his head into his hands.

"Be glad the lass likes you, John. And it seems like she may know a little more about the two of you than you do." Carson patted his shoulder. "If that's all…I'll grab the sheets in a bit. I have to go down there anyway."

"We…we stripped the bed," Rodney muttered.

"Good. Thank you. It'll make my job easier."

Fingering the cuffs, John tried to come to grips that his very female, and very sexy teammate—who could, incidentally, kick his ass any day of the week—knew he was sleeping with another teammate. And not only that, she seemed to have read them both well enough to know what kinds of toys they would enjoy. That was...disturbing and comforting at the same time. "So...we owe you tea and we owe her…something."

"Ask her," Carson smiled gently. "Now, off with the two of you and stop cluttering up my office."

"Yeah..." John stopped eyes going a bit wild, he was sure. "Um, just...how many other people know? I'd love to be able to, you know, claim Rodney publicly to make the grabby hands stop, but that could sort of get me locked in the brig, so I'd like to keep track of who's good side I need to stay on..."

"I have'na told anyone and I’m sure Teyla is discreet. I asked her to be. Who else have you told?"

John shook his head to indicate he hadn't told anyone, and looked over at Rodney.

"I'm not stupid," Rodney said, eyes flashing, arms crossed over his chest.

John felt himself soften, and after a quick glance around showed no one else in the immediate area, he risked leaning in for a fast kiss before putting a more appropriate amount of space between them again. "I know. And you know, all told, the base doctor and the lady warrior everyone's afraid of are probably the two people I would have chosen to tell anyway."

Carson smiled gently once again. "Now off with you."

Tucking the toys safely away again, he grinned weakly. "That mean we're both cleared?"

"Aye. If I need to re-run any tests, I'll let you know. And you may want to get decent breakfast this morning since you two probably worked up quite an appetite."

"That's on the list, I promise. I don't know about Rodney, but I'm starving." He looked over at his lover, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Food would be a good idea." John could see the memory of last night in Rodney's eyes.

"All right then. Later, Carson. And…thanks. We really do appreciate everything."

"Yes, everything," Rodney repeated, preceding John out the door.

Catching the doctor's indulgent smile as he headed out the door, John couldn't help but feel like he had to travel light years away to a galaxy filled with life-sucking vampire aliens to find a place to call home and people to call family.

***

The End


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